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I havent written in here for month... so much has happened I cant even start to tell anyone how much shit I have dealt with.... Im so low right now but for some reason want to type it out.. I feel like if I type it out it wont be stuck in my head and I can ignore it for a moment. You ever find out in ur own heart you love someone? and u try to tell that person and they ignore u... and dont wanna listen? Or they say they like u too but... dont show it more than saying it?... I havent thought about cutting or dieing in so long and right now thats ALL im thinking about... jsut cutting into my leg to just relieve some pain and to see if Im still here... Just see the blood and maybe just see how messed up I am again... see how far gone my brain is.... just cut and cut... make myself feel.. Killing myself.. thats the ultimate fuck u.. just fuck the world and all who knew me... but its not fun if I cant flip them all off once Im dead...