I don't understand some people
The past 12 months have been rather tough for me and my family.
First a good friend of ours died - Young - suffered from counties tumours, he lived his life to the max and is a huge inspiration but the loss hit us so hard. Then a baby was born into the family, he was dead, they brought him back but he was so ill. He lost all blood in his little body and had to have transfusions. But the blood wasn't thickening and kept coming out of all places, nose, mouth... Everywhere. Eventually he was stabilised slept for 2 full months and then pulled through but he has chronic kidney disease and is awaiting a transplant. Then my nan got COPD and lung cancer. Then I found out my oldest best friend had organ failure and has a minimum of 2 years left if he's lucky. Then personally I had to deal with the death of the person that abused me which was difficult. Then we got evicted and had to move super fast which was incredibly stressful. I'm sure I'm missing one or two things there but all in all this year has sucked!!!
So the point in my heading. I've found out that my oldest and best friend lied to me! He doesn't have organ failure. He has nothing wrong with him! Man that fucker put me through hell! With everything I was dealing with already my heart was crushed into crumbs when I found out he was ill. I cried on the phone to my mum who the next day said "I never want to hear that sound from your voice again". I felt like I was loosing a whole half of myself and couldn't do anything about it. I didn't understand how this person, a person who made me puke up a ton of pills one night back when I was 16, who saved my life, used to mop blood off my face after my bother hit me, he always saved me. He was the one person I could go to who'd help me even when I refused his help, why would get such an horrific ending! Infact I even had thought like 'it should be me dying after everything I've done and all he's ever done is pick me up and fix me, again and again'
It was all one sick twisted lie that lasted over 6 months! Why would he do this to me! I can't talk to him to ask him because I'm just so hurt. So fricking mad at him. I don't see how I can move past this. Should I be happy he's not dying? Well in a sick way I'm not, I've lost him anyway over this.