Panic attacks like whoa.
I'm in MP now and I don't think that I can stay. It reminds me of all the good times I had up here with Drew. I passed his road and wished that I could go hang out with him today like we were supposed to be doing if he were still around... at least that was our plans. I still can't believe he is gone. We had soooo much fun last year. He even made me an oreo pie but didn't have a pie pan, so he made them in a cupcake pan. I don't know. I miss him already.
I had 4 panic attacks in the past 2 days. Once when I found out Steve had been in an accident and he didn't know if he'd be alright. Then I had one after I left Steves house last night, so I had to go back. I was going to tell him, but he was too asleep. I was going to go to the hospital, but instead drove to MP and arrived here around 4 AM, having another one driving past the casino and thinking about Drew and Luke dancing to Bye Bye Bye in the parking lot one night. Then another one a couple minutes later after I got my breath back from that one. It's really freaking me out. I only have had one my entire life, which I have turned into 5 in less than 48 hours. I really just want to go home. By home I don't mean a house.... I mean with Steve. He is the only place I have felt safe lately. I know it's way soon and all, but I have fallen head over heals for him. Granted we have always liked eachother and all, but still. It's been over a month now and i am still happy with him and not one thing annoys me about him... I don't even notice him chewing. Now that is a good sign. I want him around forever. I just need to be with him and to calm down.
Therefore, I think that I will be driving back to Flushing in a while to see him. I am so happy that he didn't die. I need him around. Yes. I said it. I NEED him around and I love it. I have never felt like this in my life. I can't stop smiling when I am with him and he is funny and he loves me as much as I love him. What more could I ask for? NOTHING. He's it. He is what I want. I don't think I have ever been so sure about anything in my whole life and it doesn't scare me at all. WOOOO!
MP=thoughts of Drew= SUCKS. Flushing=thoughts of Steve= Why the fuck am I still in MP?
I love you Steve. MUAH.
I had 4 panic attacks in the past 2 days. Once when I found out Steve had been in an accident and he didn't know if he'd be alright. Then I had one after I left Steves house last night, so I had to go back. I was going to tell him, but he was too asleep. I was going to go to the hospital, but instead drove to MP and arrived here around 4 AM, having another one driving past the casino and thinking about Drew and Luke dancing to Bye Bye Bye in the parking lot one night. Then another one a couple minutes later after I got my breath back from that one. It's really freaking me out. I only have had one my entire life, which I have turned into 5 in less than 48 hours. I really just want to go home. By home I don't mean a house.... I mean with Steve. He is the only place I have felt safe lately. I know it's way soon and all, but I have fallen head over heals for him. Granted we have always liked eachother and all, but still. It's been over a month now and i am still happy with him and not one thing annoys me about him... I don't even notice him chewing. Now that is a good sign. I want him around forever. I just need to be with him and to calm down.
Therefore, I think that I will be driving back to Flushing in a while to see him. I am so happy that he didn't die. I need him around. Yes. I said it. I NEED him around and I love it. I have never felt like this in my life. I can't stop smiling when I am with him and he is funny and he loves me as much as I love him. What more could I ask for? NOTHING. He's it. He is what I want. I don't think I have ever been so sure about anything in my whole life and it doesn't scare me at all. WOOOO!
MP=thoughts of Drew= SUCKS. Flushing=thoughts of Steve= Why the fuck am I still in MP?
I love you Steve. MUAH.