(no subject)
ok. you know what? this whole dating lots of boys is getting really fucking complicated! oh and marghe (almost) ...when i'm in ny...and ali....FUCK
so basically i'm going out with 2 boys, mainly, right now...Brent and Chris...
Taylor should be back sometime this week, Giora is probably dead somewhere in israel, AJ is stillllll bothering me about being his gf, Derek is being slow, marghe wants me in ny now and i just don't have time for all of this. seriously! but i can't not go to ny like now, because i mean, c'mon.
Esther is spending the night on Sunday, her last night in the US, and i might drive her to the airport monday. Because shes awesome.
My grandma's dying and i visited her today. seeing her is like watching every girl i've ever loved die alone and miserable and drugged.
i only really like foreigners: Marghe is from Italy and fluent in three languages, Esther is german and fluent in english and french, Brent grew up in singapore and speaks chinese even though he's completely white, and Chris doesn't need to be foreign because he jumps out of planes and is, among other things, in the ROTC. oh...and Ali is turkish.
Nick says that since i have boys across the world, i might as well add nc to the list. this is true, but i was too tired last night to engage in any of that. tonight i might, but idk.
I should probably chill out things with Brent and focus on Chris (even though we play phone tag constantly and haven't really talked), but Brent has a really nice effin apartment and no roommate and a nice computer, etc. etc. and isn't busy so i could go over whenever i want and basically he'll be there. so he's more available. but i don't love brent. i really don't. i love that he loves me. shit is gonna hit the fan soon. chris is free all next week so i'll take him around and stuff.
i feel like shit right now. i think chris said 'i love you, bye' on the phone today. and now i'm fucked. i miss him so bad, but in someways he's just not for me and i miss sayy...taylor who is taller nicer and more respectful and cute and did my hair in the shower. i just don't know what to do except keep juggling this. i actually didn't mention brent to chris on purpose. this just isn't my style. i can't lie to chris. and i think he's serious about me, like if i go out with him for a year or so he'll ask me to marry him serious. and i'm like, fuck! idk what to do. this is awesome in someways, but i feel like i'm cheating. maybe i am. i have no idea. i'm so pissed esthers going back to germany when i only knew her like a week. i love her. she's amazing.
i don't know what i'm going to do. i need to work out or something because everythings starting to weigh pretty heavy on me and idk what to do. i'll probably just flirt with more guys and start more things i know i won't finish. yeah, i think thats what i'll do.
so basically i'm going out with 2 boys, mainly, right now...Brent and Chris...
Taylor should be back sometime this week, Giora is probably dead somewhere in israel, AJ is stillllll bothering me about being his gf, Derek is being slow, marghe wants me in ny now and i just don't have time for all of this. seriously! but i can't not go to ny like now, because i mean, c'mon.
Esther is spending the night on Sunday, her last night in the US, and i might drive her to the airport monday. Because shes awesome.
My grandma's dying and i visited her today. seeing her is like watching every girl i've ever loved die alone and miserable and drugged.
i only really like foreigners: Marghe is from Italy and fluent in three languages, Esther is german and fluent in english and french, Brent grew up in singapore and speaks chinese even though he's completely white, and Chris doesn't need to be foreign because he jumps out of planes and is, among other things, in the ROTC. oh...and Ali is turkish.
Nick says that since i have boys across the world, i might as well add nc to the list. this is true, but i was too tired last night to engage in any of that. tonight i might, but idk.
I should probably chill out things with Brent and focus on Chris (even though we play phone tag constantly and haven't really talked), but Brent has a really nice effin apartment and no roommate and a nice computer, etc. etc. and isn't busy so i could go over whenever i want and basically he'll be there. so he's more available. but i don't love brent. i really don't. i love that he loves me. shit is gonna hit the fan soon. chris is free all next week so i'll take him around and stuff.
i feel like shit right now. i think chris said 'i love you, bye' on the phone today. and now i'm fucked. i miss him so bad, but in someways he's just not for me and i miss sayy...taylor who is taller nicer and more respectful and cute and did my hair in the shower. i just don't know what to do except keep juggling this. i actually didn't mention brent to chris on purpose. this just isn't my style. i can't lie to chris. and i think he's serious about me, like if i go out with him for a year or so he'll ask me to marry him serious. and i'm like, fuck! idk what to do. this is awesome in someways, but i feel like i'm cheating. maybe i am. i have no idea. i'm so pissed esthers going back to germany when i only knew her like a week. i love her. she's amazing.
i don't know what i'm going to do. i need to work out or something because everythings starting to weigh pretty heavy on me and idk what to do. i'll probably just flirt with more guys and start more things i know i won't finish. yeah, i think thats what i'll do.