i'll wait for you, but i can't wait forever..
i do not understand why my stepmom is such a bitch to me. i swear i don't do anything. except i do make her coffee every morning, watch the kids whenever she wants to go out, i do the dishes, i don't bother her with petty crap like friends issues, what more does she want from me? i apologize even when i think i did the slightest thing wrong. i treat her as if she was my own mother. that is not enough? well i do not have anything else to give. i guess to her i'm just the evil step-daughter or something, even though i feel like cinerella.
i'm reading tuesdays with morrie for the seventh time. usually i can never read a book more than once because i already know what happens, but this book is different. it has so much more meaning than most books. i don't know. i probably sound like a loser right now. DON'T CARE.
i think i love my best friend. well, one of my best friends. well actually, i think of him that way even though i haven't the sligtest clue as to what he thinks of me. -sighs-
i don't mind listening to my friends problems and help however i can, but enough is enough after awhile. i don't care about their petty crap. i have my own problems. i know that may seem selfish but if you have to do something, just do it, and stop complaining to me about it or if you don't like how you do something fix it and stop wasting time worrying about it. maybe i am just crazy. i don't know anymore.
i stayed home sick today. actually, i only have a sore throat but i made it seem worse because i really needed a mental health day. i eneded this time to myself to think about things. like how i can't decide whether my college dream is ucla or usc. both sound better than being here.
i have seasonal depression. it has a longer, technical name but i do not know who to pronounce it, therefore how am i supposed to spell it? so it is basically just seasonal depression. lack of sunlight makes me tired, makes me become depressed easier, makes me think about things in greater detail so i find faults in everything. it is very frustrating, not being able to smile on demand. i guess life is just like that sometimes, and for me, it is the winter time.
i miss my mom. i need her around. my stepmom just isn't cutting it anymore. i feel like i'm not good enough for her or her daughter or her son. especially her daughter. oh well, i'll deal..?
-enough complaining for one afternoon-