Send Help!
I've been up forever writing two stupid papers that were due today. I'm finally done and needless to say I'm fucking starving. All I want is some goddamn prosciutto stuffed pasta with some sauce on top. But the motherfucking sauce jars refuse to open! My wrists are breaking in half, I feel so weak. And none of the 5 other people that live here are around to help. I guess I'll just lay here weakly until help arrives.