When your wife leaves you at home..
Thursday, my wife goes out of town to go on big antique shopping road trip. So what do I do? I plan out my short-lived bachelorhood.
THE PLAN
Thursday night: Get home from work. Make dinner. Watch "Star Wars/Clone wars."
What really happened: Got home late. Ate leftover Spaghetti. Watched "The Chappell show". Went to bed.
Friday night: Get home from work. Make dinner. Watch "Pulp Fiction".
What really happened: Got home late. Order a Meatball pizza with Spicy Buffalo wings. Watched "The Chappell show" and "South Park". Tried to read. Went to bed.
Saturday day: Yard work,(Insert Sterotype Here). Clean the house. Clean out shed. Fix wife's car. Watch neighbor make ass out of himself.
What really happened: Found someone's cellphone while walking the dogs. Called cellphone owner and agreed to drive it over. Drove to cellphone owners house to return it. Turned off wife's car. Returned cellphone to rightful owner. Went back to car and it would not start. Walked back to my house. Picked up some tools and a battery charger. Drove back to wife's car in my truck. Proceeded to charge battery and attempt to start wife's car. Attempted to start wife's again. Again. Again. Again. Woo Woo it started. Drove wife's car back to my house. Walked back to get my pick-up. Left keys in my wife's car. Walked back to my house, got keys. Walked back to pick-up and drove back home. So much for good deeds.
Cleaned the house. Cleaned the shed. Fixed wife's car. Watched neighbor make ass out of himself.
Wife is home now. Wife is happy house is cleaned. Now she expects me do this every week.
Moral of the story for Saturday.
If you see a cellphone lying in the grass where your dog is about PEE. Let the dog Pee. Goodnight.
THE PLAN
Thursday night: Get home from work. Make dinner. Watch "Star Wars/Clone wars."
What really happened: Got home late. Ate leftover Spaghetti. Watched "The Chappell show". Went to bed.
Friday night: Get home from work. Make dinner. Watch "Pulp Fiction".
What really happened: Got home late. Order a Meatball pizza with Spicy Buffalo wings. Watched "The Chappell show" and "South Park". Tried to read. Went to bed.
Saturday day: Yard work,(Insert Sterotype Here). Clean the house. Clean out shed. Fix wife's car. Watch neighbor make ass out of himself.
What really happened: Found someone's cellphone while walking the dogs. Called cellphone owner and agreed to drive it over. Drove to cellphone owners house to return it. Turned off wife's car. Returned cellphone to rightful owner. Went back to car and it would not start. Walked back to my house. Picked up some tools and a battery charger. Drove back to wife's car in my truck. Proceeded to charge battery and attempt to start wife's car. Attempted to start wife's again. Again. Again. Again. Woo Woo it started. Drove wife's car back to my house. Walked back to get my pick-up. Left keys in my wife's car. Walked back to my house, got keys. Walked back to pick-up and drove back home. So much for good deeds.
Cleaned the house. Cleaned the shed. Fixed wife's car. Watched neighbor make ass out of himself.
Wife is home now. Wife is happy house is cleaned. Now she expects me do this every week.
Moral of the story for Saturday.
If you see a cellphone lying in the grass where your dog is about PEE. Let the dog Pee. Goodnight.