hmm
sorry for not updating. yesterday i taught at the studio from 4-9, then i went straight to my boyfriends til like 1 today, then i was back the studio from 3-9. um so i havent really pooped at all really? i feel extremely bloated. i went a little bit today but not as much as i thought i would? iiiii dunno, tonight i had to take 2 of the pills so hopefully itll work tomorrow. the fiber packet is GROSS. ugh nasttty. i mixed it in water yesterday and i almost gagged, so today i just poured the packet into my mouth, took a huge swig of water, almost gagged again, and swallowed lol.
on another note. i pretty much hate myself. i dont know what comes over me, i honestly think sometimes i turn into a binge eater. yesterday i followed what i wanted to eat completely..then when i came home from work instead of eating the lean cuisine i stuffed my face with chicken, stuffing, and rice...then on the way to my boyfriends i stopped at mcdonals and got a double cheeseburger and fries..THEN we ended up going bowling with his friends and i bought a large order of waffle fries and THEN when we got back to his house i pigged out on cookies. i dont fucking understand myself at all. i didnt feel the need to puke or anything. thats like a MILLION calories. then today..i got home around 1, had 2 packs of rasins a cup of frosted flakes..then when i stopped at subway on the way home, ordered a foot long veggie on wheat with vinegar, salt, and pepper, ate that entirely along a rather large helping for shepards pie my mom made..i ended up purging that up, then came back into my room to eat 2 more packs of rasins, a ridiculous amount of pretzels, and a huge bowl of rasin bran crunch. i just tried to purge most of that up. i dont understand myself, its like i go on a food rampage and just keep eating, but im starving, i never get full. i hate myself ;(
on another note. i pretty much hate myself. i dont know what comes over me, i honestly think sometimes i turn into a binge eater. yesterday i followed what i wanted to eat completely..then when i came home from work instead of eating the lean cuisine i stuffed my face with chicken, stuffing, and rice...then on the way to my boyfriends i stopped at mcdonals and got a double cheeseburger and fries..THEN we ended up going bowling with his friends and i bought a large order of waffle fries and THEN when we got back to his house i pigged out on cookies. i dont fucking understand myself at all. i didnt feel the need to puke or anything. thats like a MILLION calories. then today..i got home around 1, had 2 packs of rasins a cup of frosted flakes..then when i stopped at subway on the way home, ordered a foot long veggie on wheat with vinegar, salt, and pepper, ate that entirely along a rather large helping for shepards pie my mom made..i ended up purging that up, then came back into my room to eat 2 more packs of rasins, a ridiculous amount of pretzels, and a huge bowl of rasin bran crunch. i just tried to purge most of that up. i dont understand myself, its like i go on a food rampage and just keep eating, but im starving, i never get full. i hate myself ;(