With all my love, and appologies
To all my friends, through thick and thin... hee heee, short and tall, regrets, mistakes, laughter, tears, sorrow, pain, giggles and orange julious. This will not be my last journal entry, so don't take this as a fairwell, simply as a sum of all things that has happened to us so far. The simple fact is that no friendship is perfect, there are always going to be times when we let eachother down, but the things that define us are not the times that things were hard, but the times when things were unbearable, but we came through them together. I've said it before and I'm saying it again, I have been so blessed to have found the friends that I have now, and for the friends that I may not have anymore. James, (Dud) you are my husband and truely one of the best friends of my entire life, I will never ever forget the things you have said to me, things said to comfort, to make me smile,make me think, and to make me laugh. You always have been the one to go to when I needed someone to say the right thing, someone to tell me what I need to do, even if all you said was just to trust in the Lord and let it go, even if I was wrong and you had the privalige of telling me so. I love you so much, and you will always be with me, no matter far away you are, no matter how long it is bettween visits, or even talking on the net or on the phone. In the back of my mind I will always see your smileing face, telling me how much you love me and how much you love german! You have been a knight in shinning armor and a light in the darkness, thank you my friend, with all of my love, now and forever. Toni, you were a friend to me when is seemed like I had none, I've had more fun, and memorable times with you that I can recall in one day, or one month, actually the simple fact is that the time we have spent together can never be recalled in one single clump of time, simply because there were times when you made me think of things, that caused a change in the way I do things, or the way I act, and they can only be regonized with time. You're a mover and a shaker, tiny as you are! (wink) You've moved me to tears and shaken me back to reality. I'll never forget the things you've taught me, and believe me girl, you've taught me so much you have no idea. You're going to move mountains! I just want you to know, that if you ever start to feel like your life hasn't made a difference, cast the thought out, because without your friendship I would not be the person I am today, " I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn and we are lead to those who'll help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return, well I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I'm who I am today, because I knew you.... Who can say if I've been changed for the better, because I knew you, I have been changed for good" Jazzy, you most of all, I have taken for granted, and now I fear I may have lost you forever. Our personalities seem to clash more than I care to admit, our point of veiws are so subornly firm that we cannot bend to see the others side. I know I have done things to upset and hurt you, things I don't even know about. But I am sorry for it all, and even though this last year has been one of the hardest, it has also been one of the best, I have learned things from you that I will carry with me all my life. I'll remember the things yo've said, and the fun we've had, cause man, have we had fun. You're a corner Jazzy, and if I'm sorry for anything this year it's the way things have ended up with you. I'm so sorry for it all. And I hope someday you can find it in you to forgive me for the things I've said or done when I wasn't thinking. It's one of my worst faults, I say things before I think, but I'm a work in progress, and someday I hope to be better because of the things you have showed me in myself. Now to all the world, even though this journal reaches a total of the three I've spoken to specifically, I'd just like to say, that I have been blessed, dispite my flaws and imperfections these people have stuck by me, through thick and thin... through all of the times when I needed a friend, they have been there, moving in shadow, and unknowingly changeing this girl into the person she is now.
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