Buck up, little fuck up!
Assiduously written thank you letters notwithstanding, I think at this point it’s safe to say I did not get the job I interviewed for last Monday. *sigh* Since March, I have applied for 14 positions, gotten two interviews, and still, nothing. This week I became so anxious about receiving more rejections that I couldn’t make myself send out any more applications. And I got kinda depressed and did that thing where I worried that I would never be un-depressed again.
Then I talked to my mom, and told her about how I can’t help thinking of myself as being “unemployed” rather than “on vacation.” And her response was surprising in its vehemence. Basically she was like, so what, so what, so what? She said, you’re still in your 20s! You have time to do anything you want! Who cares if you can’t get a job right now, who cares if you can’t get a job for another YEAR, you’re young, you’ve got money in the bank, you can sit around my house for as long as you want, you can go travelling, you can even decide you don’t want to be a librarian and start school in something else, like law or medicine.
The last part amused and saddened me a little, because I saw again my mom’s secret hopes for me are so strong that she doesn’t think it’s too late for me to become a doctor or whatever, but the rest of it was comforting and eye-opening. I expected her to think the way I think--that now’s the time for me to settle down and get an actual salary and obtain a diversified investment portfolio. And it turns out she’s down with me being much, much flakier. I love my mom.
In any case, I really do have to get out of this funk. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself for two weeks! And like Viggo Mortenson said, quoting D.H. Lawrence whilst wearing tiny white shorts in that cinematic classic, GI Jane: “I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.” Not that I would ever even facetiously call myself a wild thing, but whatever, any excuse to think of Viggo Mortenson. 14 rejections is nothing, and rejection and failure are good for the soul, right? They make you humble, they teach you perseverence. Once I hit 100 rejections, I can start looking around for other career options, but until then, I need to not let unemployment spoil my summer. This will be my last entry on jobsearching for a long while.
Movies: Iron Man, Indiana Jones & the whatnot
Then I talked to my mom, and told her about how I can’t help thinking of myself as being “unemployed” rather than “on vacation.” And her response was surprising in its vehemence. Basically she was like, so what, so what, so what? She said, you’re still in your 20s! You have time to do anything you want! Who cares if you can’t get a job right now, who cares if you can’t get a job for another YEAR, you’re young, you’ve got money in the bank, you can sit around my house for as long as you want, you can go travelling, you can even decide you don’t want to be a librarian and start school in something else, like law or medicine.
The last part amused and saddened me a little, because I saw again my mom’s secret hopes for me are so strong that she doesn’t think it’s too late for me to become a doctor or whatever, but the rest of it was comforting and eye-opening. I expected her to think the way I think--that now’s the time for me to settle down and get an actual salary and obtain a diversified investment portfolio. And it turns out she’s down with me being much, much flakier. I love my mom.
In any case, I really do have to get out of this funk. I’ve been feeling sorry for myself for two weeks! And like Viggo Mortenson said, quoting D.H. Lawrence whilst wearing tiny white shorts in that cinematic classic, GI Jane: “I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.” Not that I would ever even facetiously call myself a wild thing, but whatever, any excuse to think of Viggo Mortenson. 14 rejections is nothing, and rejection and failure are good for the soul, right? They make you humble, they teach you perseverence. Once I hit 100 rejections, I can start looking around for other career options, but until then, I need to not let unemployment spoil my summer. This will be my last entry on jobsearching for a long while.
Movies: Iron Man, Indiana Jones & the whatnot