Title: A Photo
Author: tiny_teaspoon
Fandom: Cabin pressure
Rating: none
Warnings: mention of death
Word count: ~1800
Authors note: Many Thanks to my beta
persiflage_1 who had to deal with my catastrophical grammar and my obvious 'not-being-English'.
Here is my first (and probably my last) fanfic. Actually I wanted to write a H/C story. While wirting this I got carried away and the fic turned out rather angsty and melodramatic -> not exactly cabin pressure like ;_;
When first officer Douglas Richardson entered the flight deck this morning it seemed to be a normal MJN trip to Stockholm. As normal as a trip with the famous airdot could be. But as long as they landed safe and sound, Douglas Richardson was content man.
His dear captain, whom he was also privileged to call sir, was already sitting in his seat obviously running his take off checks. Probably for the third time this morning.
‘Morning, Martin.’ His baritone voice had once been described as sounding like melted chocolate and he made good use of it. No response. ‘Oh, are we a little bit grumpy today captain Ahab?!’
‘Oh, no ..I… morning Douglas.’ While speaking Martin's gaze never left his clipboard.
‘Oh lord. What a great start to a new adventure with our flying fossil.’ Again no sign that Sir was even listening. ‘Martin, is that another game? Martin?!’
‘What?!’ Martin snapped out of his stupor. ‘No everything is all right. We still have both our wings more or less attached to the aeroplane.’ The half hearted answer sounded lame even in Martin’s own ears.
‘Martin, are you sure everything is alright? You seem a …’ He made a vague gesture.
‘Yes, Douglas, everything is fine!’ The sudden outburst surprised the first officer a great deal. ‘Would you please do your part of the post take off checks?’ Mutely and sulking Douglas grabbed his own clipboard, just for the sake of doing something.
‘Oh jolly good, well I shall obey sir.’ The edge in his voice was more audible.
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For the second time this morning the flight deck was covered in silence, only disturbed by the sporadic sounds of scratching pens and rustling paper. From time to time Douglas peeked to Martin's side. His thoughts were already running a marathon. This was so unlike Martin. His captain was clumsy, naïve, and from time to time totally unable to cope with flying Gertie. But that was okay. Douglas was here to save the day!
The feeling that something was totally wrong became stronger from minute to minute, while they were sitting there in stillness. It made Douglas Richardson feel very uncomfortable. And that was a completely unacceptable condition.
Suddenly it happened- Douglas caught a tiny glimpse of something disturbingly wet and shiny in Martin's eyes. Before he could take a closer look Martin turned his head to the other direction.
‘Martin?’ This time lacked his voice of sarcasm, arrogance, or a hint of him being the almighty flight god, Douglas Richardson.
‘What?! Even you can’t be done with your post take off checks by now.’ The only reaction to this failed snappy response was a concerned rise of Douglas’ eyebrows.
Douglas saw a movement in the corner of his vision. Martin's hands where trembling, not only slightly, a violent trembling and in his clenched fists were the remains of a sheet of paper. Instantly Douglas' good mood vanished and was replaced with concern.
The trembling increased as if Martin tried desperately to ground himself by evaporating the page by pure physical force.
Douglas' attention snapped back to Martin’s face when he heard a traitorous sound. Was that a sob?!
‘What is that?’ The First officer pointed to the papery thing in Martin’s fists. ‘That does not exactly look like one of our checklists!’ While speaking Douglas turned around to face Martin properly.
Suddenly Martin jumped out of his seat and tried to escape the flight deck like a scared animal. He would have nearly made it out of the cockpit, if Douglas hadn’t grabbed the sleeve of his jacket to stop him.
Martin was caught off guard by the sheer force of Douglas' reaction and stumbled backward straight into his first officer’s solid form, which had instinctively started to rise at the same time his captain started to run.
Douglas slung his arms around the slender body which had just collided with his own. Even through Martin’s clothing Douglas could feel the stiff muscles and the rigid spine.
‘Let go!’ Even if the attempt to get away wasn’t as half-hearted as this one, Martin wouldn’t have had a chance against Douglas, who was much bigger and stronger than the worn out pilot.
‘No I won’t! Not unless you tell me what’s wrong.' He shifted his arms so that he was grabbing both of Martin's shoulders to get a better look at his captain. Martin still refused to look at Douglas and kept his gaze fixed to the floor.
‘It is none of your business, Douglas…’ Martin couldn’t finish his sentence because he was interrupted by his first officer.
‘It is my business Martin!’ He spoke in a serious tone again. ‘You are in no state to think clearly. Not to speak about commanding an aeroplane.’ For the fraction of a moment Martin’s body went even more rigid, then suddenly all the tension was gone and trembling hands grabbed the lapels of Douglas’ jacket for support.
With a voice very close to tender Douglas continued. ‘And since you are the captain and you are responsible for our and the passengers' lives, it is my duty to remind you of your responsibilities.’ To underline his statement Douglas moved one hand from Martin's shoulder upwards to the nape of his neck. Gently, with the minimum use of strength, he coaxed Martin to look up at him.
For the first time this morning he could see Martin's eyes properly and that was the exact moment Douglas Richardson’s heart broke a little bit more. Even if Douglas never displayed his feelings, he cared for his co-workers a great deal. All in all they were like a family. Martin was something between a son and a younger brother to Douglas, somebody to tease about the smallest things and someone he had to protect.
His dear captain looked up at him with red rimmed and tearful eyes. Seeking for comfort and protection. Something must have happened, something really terrible.
‘Oh Martin.’ The words were spoken in a whisper. Martin's head sagged forwards and rested on Douglas' chest.
It started with an inaudible sob from Martin and a tiny sniffling noise.
‘…I…didn’t even know…and now, I mean I was supposed to know,..’ And then Martin couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. He buried his face in Douglas' jacket and cried freely.
They stood there for a while, Martin crying and Douglas only holding him through it. Only making soothing noises from time to time and encouragingly stroking the younger man's neck and back.
Even after Martin stopped crying he kept the hold of him. Douglas felt the need to protect the younger one. In this moment he realised how vulnerable Martin was behind his “I am a airline captain” façade.
‘Are you going to tell me what happened?’ Douglas’ chin was resting on the smaller man's head. So he only could feel that Martin was nodding.
‘I …I had a friend when I was younger. He, he was my best friend and his name was John. We met at school and,….well, ….we were best friends and….’ Martin tightened his grip on Douglas' lapels. ‘When I told everybody that I wanted to become a pilot they were laughing at me….even my family. Especially my family. They said I would never pass the exams and,…I was just a joke.’
‘Mmm.’ Douglas dared not say more now that Martin was talking. Not that this was a new set of information for the first officer. He suspected a long time ago, that Martin's relationship to his family was rather difficult. He gave him an inviting squeeze to encourage him to speak on.
‘But not John, he was the only one who believed that I could do it. Who believed in my skills as a professional person ……who believed in me as a human being.’ Another sob threatened to break out of Martin, but he managed to stifle it in the last moment.
‘In the end he learned with me for the exams and never laughed at me, even when I failed…. Or got tired of my presence…or said that I was stupid or worthless…..’ Martin again buried his face in Douglas' chest.
‘As your family did?’ Douglas' question was only answered with a tiny nod.
‘He was my family….for a while. I mean we were only friends, nothing more, but still mates … three years ago he moved to the US, because he got a job there. The contact became less and less….and…life goes on…I was so busy. Flying and with my van business,…. and more flying, living my dream….being happy.’ Another sob escaped his throat. ‘I nearly forgot him…Oh god, I forgot my best friend!’ Martin threatened to cry again. Only Douglas' reassuring presence grounded him.
‘He died last week…’
‘Oh. I….I’m sorry Martin.’ And than it happened, Douglas Richardson, god of the skies and favourite child of the goddess of luck, was speechless. ‘How did it happen?‘
‘Leukaemia…I didn’t even know he was sick….I am so nasty and egotistical. …. I hate myself, I am disgusted by myself …I…I should be the one…’
‘Stop it!’ Douglas grabbed Martin’s shoulders and straightened the man in front of him up. ’Your self-loathing doesn’t change anything. I may have never known this man, but I know that he would never have wanted you hating yourself!’ He looked sternly at Martin.
‘Yes... Yes,…you are right.’ Martin straightened himself and started fiddling with his sleeve. ‘I’m a pilot, …. an airline captain!’ Only his eyes betrayed Martin's speech.
‘Yes, that is my commanding officer!’ Douglas had a real smile and a proud look in his face. ‘I am suggesting Sir, that you get in order and adjust your tie. The passengers are arriving soon. And we have to show them a presentable captain, one they can trust.’
Martin disentangled himself from Douglas’ hug and went to the cabin door. Before he crossed the threshold he spoke again without turning around. ‘Thank you, Douglas’
‘For what?’ Douglas raised a questioning eyebrow.
‘For being here….’
‘That is my duty, sir!’ Martin couldn’t see Douglas' smile when he said those words. And he never heard the muttered ‘and I’m proud to fly with you.’ Then there are things between heaven and earth nobody else than Douglas Richardson himself needed to know.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
When Martin returned Douglas looked as if nothing had happened, and Martin was very grateful for that.
Once he sat down in the captain's seat, he discovered a barely smoothed out photo attached to
Gertie’s console.
The photo which John's mother had sent with the letter.
Out of the photograph looked two teenagers, who grinned like lunatics in the direction of the camera. Behind them in the background was an airfield with aeroplanes depicted. It was the day Martin knew he could become a pilot because he had a friend who supported him and believed in his abilities.
‘Where…?’
‘I found it on the floor, and there is a good place for John to witness your piloting carrier.'
'I, Doug…..’
‘So sir, I bet the Emmental that there are more female passengers on this trip than males!’
Finally there was the first real smile in Martin's face.
‘Oh okay, I bet there are more males than…..oh no, wait, ….you know something!'
Being alive wasn’t that bad at all, even for a certain captain of a very certain airdot.
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