Hey
Hey everyone, how is it going? Ok here...I've got mixed emotions, and I know what I want...but I can't keep doing this. I love him and I never ever want that to change, but this past week or so has been extreemly tough. It's really really really hard to only see him 3 times a week and each time I see him I only get to see him for maybe 3 hours if I'm lucky. And if youre a girl you know exactly what I'm talking about. And if youre needy like me you know even more about what I am talking about. And as much as I wish I wasn't a needy girl...I am...sucks to admit it but it is oh so very true. I wish I wasn't trust me. I'm sure he hates it and hates me for it. :*( But this past week I've made plans with him 2, and both times the plans fell through on his part. I was so excited last night...it was our night to hang out and then I know he can't help what happened...but he could have found a way around his mom being on the phone to call me and let me know that we couldn't hang out. But I didn't even get a call until this morning at 11:30 and then I was at work. So I didn't even get to talk to him. I got to talk to him for about 3 minutes after he got home from school...thank god I didn't stay that extra little bit I was going to or I woldn't even have gotton to talk to him then. I'm just sooo sad!!!!! I hate this...I hate us both being so busy. Him more so then me...I just wish that he wasn't so tired all the time...and I got to see him for a longer period of time on the days I do get to see him. :*(
But I had this crazy dream last night...I don't even know how to explain it...and I keep haveing crazy dreams like this..and I tell him every time and he reassures me that he wouldn't ever do anything like that to me. I hope that it is true!!! I dont need that...and neither does he. I think the reason I have the dreams...(nightmares) is because I am so paranoid that it is actually going to happen. That's what freaks me out. I told him if he ever didn't want to be with me to just tell me...OH MAN!!! TEARS!!! I MISS HIM SOOOOO MUCH!!! But anyway I'm listening to this CD right now...I'm sure alot of you have heard of it, Michelle Branch---Hotel Paper. But the whole CD describes about how I feel right now. We've been doing so good too. And I pray every night that things will continue to go good like they are, because besides the not being able to see him as much as I'd like things are going tramendusly well. At least that is what I think. But I want to know where he stands and what he wants, whether he does truly want to be with me or not, and what he wants for his future cause if we don't want the same things it is going to be extremely hard to have a future. And I'm sure we do want the same things but I just want to be reassured I guess, basically I want to know what he wants without me saying what I want to see if it is the same thing...as far as kids, jobs, home...excetra.
But here is a one of the songs...I told him a long time ago when we first started dating that this is how I felt about him...and I still do...which is a good thing.
If tommorow never comes---
If tommorow never comes
I would want just one thing
I would tell it to the stars and the sun
I would write it for the world to see
And it's you
The light changes when you're in the room
Oh it's you
Oh it's you
If tommorow never comes
I would want just one wish
To kiss your quiet mouth
And trace the steps with my finger tips
And it's you
The light changes when you're in the room
Oh it's you
Oh it's you
Oh it's you
Oh it's you
Oh it's you
Oh it's you!!!
I love you baby!!!
Ok but really check out Michelle Branches' CD if you already haven't and take care everyone and wish me luck!!!
But I had this crazy dream last night...I don't even know how to explain it...and I keep haveing crazy dreams like this..and I tell him every time and he reassures me that he wouldn't ever do anything like that to me. I hope that it is true!!! I dont need that...and neither does he. I think the reason I have the dreams...(nightmares) is because I am so paranoid that it is actually going to happen. That's what freaks me out. I told him if he ever didn't want to be with me to just tell me...OH MAN!!! TEARS!!! I MISS HIM SOOOOO MUCH!!! But anyway I'm listening to this CD right now...I'm sure alot of you have heard of it, Michelle Branch---Hotel Paper. But the whole CD describes about how I feel right now. We've been doing so good too. And I pray every night that things will continue to go good like they are, because besides the not being able to see him as much as I'd like things are going tramendusly well. At least that is what I think. But I want to know where he stands and what he wants, whether he does truly want to be with me or not, and what he wants for his future cause if we don't want the same things it is going to be extremely hard to have a future. And I'm sure we do want the same things but I just want to be reassured I guess, basically I want to know what he wants without me saying what I want to see if it is the same thing...as far as kids, jobs, home...excetra.
But here is a one of the songs...I told him a long time ago when we first started dating that this is how I felt about him...and I still do...which is a good thing.
If tommorow never comes---
If tommorow never comes
I would want just one thing
I would tell it to the stars and the sun
I would write it for the world to see
And it's you
The light changes when you're in the room
Oh it's you
Oh it's you
If tommorow never comes
I would want just one wish
To kiss your quiet mouth
And trace the steps with my finger tips
And it's you
The light changes when you're in the room
Oh it's you
Oh it's you
Oh it's you
Oh it's you
Oh it's you
Oh it's you!!!
I love you baby!!!
Ok but really check out Michelle Branches' CD if you already haven't and take care everyone and wish me luck!!!