another day
A Saturday off work. The sky is threatening to storm but it hasn't started yet. I'm almost finished The Way the Crow Flies and it's finally getting interesting, but I'd rather be out & about. On days off the house seems too empty and the city in a daze.
It makes me question whether so many of the things around me are just facades. It's always strange to think about how the rest of the world continues on no matter what you're doing. There are things I shouldn't be surprised about but part of me still is, and another part scolds that one because such thoughts are not constructive. There are always the What Ifs but I don't let myself acknowledge them. There is a whole world in motion out there. I don't always know what to do about it.
If my computer wasn't down, I'd probably be watching Better Than Chocolate. I almost feel like the setting is familiar, like I remember the streets with the mountains in the distance on a summer day. I've never been to BC but part of me remembers. Maybe it's just those hazy summers when you're a kid, when every day something is going on, and if not, there's always someone around the corner who can cook up a plan to make time pass more excitingly until the sun sets. Maybe I'm living vicariously through television characters, how sad. If the sky didn't look like it was about to explode, I'd probably head back to the park with my book, climb into the tree and spend the afternoon reading. You're not as alone when you're in a tree, when you're outside. It reminds you the rest of the world still exists even if you're hidden in the high branches shielded by leaves.
I have three things checked off my list...I added a whole second page of items this morning. I don't know when I'll get to them but I guess it's good having something to look forward to, if that's what the list means. It still feels like the city's asleep though. It keeps the thought at the back of my mind that even though I've found alot of things these past months, I'm still not rooted. There is not much to rely on besides going to work and making dinner and going back to school, and the living from paycheck to paycheck that comes with the territory. It affirms the idea that everyone is, essentially, on their own.
It makes me question whether so many of the things around me are just facades. It's always strange to think about how the rest of the world continues on no matter what you're doing. There are things I shouldn't be surprised about but part of me still is, and another part scolds that one because such thoughts are not constructive. There are always the What Ifs but I don't let myself acknowledge them. There is a whole world in motion out there. I don't always know what to do about it.
If my computer wasn't down, I'd probably be watching Better Than Chocolate. I almost feel like the setting is familiar, like I remember the streets with the mountains in the distance on a summer day. I've never been to BC but part of me remembers. Maybe it's just those hazy summers when you're a kid, when every day something is going on, and if not, there's always someone around the corner who can cook up a plan to make time pass more excitingly until the sun sets. Maybe I'm living vicariously through television characters, how sad. If the sky didn't look like it was about to explode, I'd probably head back to the park with my book, climb into the tree and spend the afternoon reading. You're not as alone when you're in a tree, when you're outside. It reminds you the rest of the world still exists even if you're hidden in the high branches shielded by leaves.
I have three things checked off my list...I added a whole second page of items this morning. I don't know when I'll get to them but I guess it's good having something to look forward to, if that's what the list means. It still feels like the city's asleep though. It keeps the thought at the back of my mind that even though I've found alot of things these past months, I'm still not rooted. There is not much to rely on besides going to work and making dinner and going back to school, and the living from paycheck to paycheck that comes with the territory. It affirms the idea that everyone is, essentially, on their own.