Today is a good day
Today I received news that my tax returns would be deposited into my account on 2/11. I don't think anyone could possibly imagine what this means to me. I have so much planned with this money. The amount that i'm getting back is going to be enough to pay off all of my bills that are hendering me from being stress free. I can pay off my tickets, buy a car, get insurance for my car and renters insurance. Buy furniture... all the miscellaneous things that I need to start over with. I'm learning so many things at this stage in my life. It's like I've finally learned how to set boundaries, goals and learning how to be an adult. The past year of my life has been very chaotic. Approximately two years ago I met a man online that was "going to be" the best thing that ever happened to me... after meeting in person and a year of seeing each other, he asked me to marry him and I moved to Portland, OR from Knoxville, TN to be with him. After being here just six weeks, I found out that I wasn't the only one that he was interested in... the long and the short of it is this... I hastily went into a relationship and should have been more gaurded. I ignored signs that should have been screaming out the realities of who this person was. There are many good things that have come out of this tragedy, and I'm finally over the anger to admit it. I found out that while I was completely lost in a new enviroment with my three children, I slowly discovered that I really am strong. I really am a good mother. I realize it sounds like I may be bragging about myself, but these are things that I had always been told but never for an instant believed because of all the guilt I felt over bad decisions. I learned that no matter what happened around me, the tragedy of anything was my own creation... meaning I needed to learn how to set my boundaries with my children, my ex's and everyone in my life more clearly. I believe that I created these dramatic events in my life by allowing people to abuse me mentally or physically. I have learned that it's okay to say no, it's okay to push ppl away, it's okay to set limitations... By learning this, I am setting more better distances between myself and others so that I can't be abused anymore. I'm starting to sound like a life coach, or a 12 step program. At any rate... I"m finally happy. I think I have a new reason to be estatic too. I have met someone else that has become my best friend. He's so much like me in so many ways. We talk so much and it's crazy but I really love the way he thinks. He's just as goofy as me... just as silly... He's flying in to see me on the 17th. I can't wait... I'll write more later...