I think I glow in the dark
That might not be a bad thing in this economy, as I could save on my electricty bill. This particular radience isn't just from my wonderfully warm personality, delightful joie de vive, or Clifton chemical triangle upbringing (that's a story for another day, one which led to my only adult life marrige proposal). No, I had to have a contrast CT scan, pelvic and abdominal; so not only did I have to drink that Barium stuff, but I had to have an iv. W00t! This is going to be a long one.
It all started back on May 29th. It was a few days before my period and I was getting weird and painful cramps. My stomache was all tied in knots too, but I figured it was just a normal spoke in the menstral cycle. But it just would not go away. At best, the feeling was like a hot rock trying to push itself out of my lower left side under my belly button. At worst, it was a very sharp pain that just zipped out all over the place. I felt all bloaty, my pants hurt unless I pull the waistband way up. But me being the way I am, I waited almost two weeks before I went to the doctor. I thought it was just my intestines being difficult, like they can be.
I made an appointment with my regular doctor's office after my gyno (who's in Nutley) had to reschedule due to the power outage. Regular Doc (actually a PA) pokes and prods, asks a few questions where I tell her I have tummy trouble and possibly ovarian cysts, then says it's probably Diverticulitis. Great, another old person's ailment! I just need Scabies and Rickets to add to the Shingles from last year and I'll have a bingo. She sends me for a blood test and has her nurse call the insurance about getting the CT. Lucky for me, the blood taking nurse (I know there is another name for it) is a sweetie (unlike the last time I was there) and draws my blood with hardly a pinch, and no brusing or passed out Kellys! They are looking for signs of infection that will confirm the Diverticulitis. In the meantime, I have to take anitbiotics, go on a liquid diet & return in two days. Do you know how hard it is to stick to a liquid diet when you don't feel sick? Intestinal pain is different than all out flu sick, and I am used to food hurting me. It sucks, I cheated and I paid for it.
When I went back to the regular Doc, they said there was no sign of infection (which is good because we may have caught it early) and the insurance clear the CT. The CT is going to be the day after the rescheduled Gyno appointment. I'm a bit nervous all week about it.
Now, let me tell you the funny story of the trip to the Gyno. We start the day at the front desk at the full time job. We all have to take turns there since they laid off the receptionist about a month ago, and I really don't like it. I spend 4 hours wrestling phone calls, wrangling sales people, herding clients and everyone's cranky. One sales person even snaps at me, which puts me in a really foul mood. I leave for the Gyno and end up 5 minutes late cause all the old people are driving the Avenue in their slow huge old car glory and have taken all the free spot under the medical building. I have to root through my glove box for change for the meter. The Gyno makes me wait 20 bare ass cold minutes. When he asks how I'm doing I tell him about the pain in my side. Or I start to at any rate. When I start with the "It started right before my period" he inturrupts me with this long speil about how I don't get a "PERIOD" because I am on the pill and it prevents eggs and blah blah blah. I don't care what it technically is, the painfully, lumpy red stuff that drops out from between my legs on a fairly regular schedule for a few days shall always be my fucking PERIOD because that is the easiest and most common name to describe it. Maybe it would have been better if I had said the pain started a few days before my "shiny red hate monkey fell out of the tree onto the cotton coffin". Then he went on to say that I was just being overly sensitive because from the two seconds his fingers were up there he didn't feel anything wrong and it was probably irritable bowel due to a swollen uterus like 98.999% of women have, but I should go ahead with the test anyway, just in case. Needless to say I felt like a stupid headcase when I left.
I hadn't yet eaten, so I figured I could get a slice of Ralph's pizza to make myself feel better after the Gyno. i had only a dollar on me, so I stopped at the PNC to get 10 out. Wouldn't you know it, I was now 20 overdrawn from paying for the Gyno. I JUST WANTED SOME DAMN PIZZA COMFORT!!!!! Bastards!!! Why must you thwart me at every turn today!! I called my sister and cried the whole way back to work. Maybe I was being silly, or a hypochondriac. Poor Kerry, she was a good sport about it though. Thanks again.
I went to pick up the Barium stuff after work, as well as get instructions for the test. I got the banana flavored one, I figured it would taste the most like a soy shake. I was right and it wasn't so bad. I was so nervous though, my inside were like water. I took two tylenol PM to help me sleep, cause I knew I'd be awake all night. I hate needles and I've never had an iv that I could remember. And what if they found something, or worse nothing and the pain was all in my head. I'm hard pressed to find a night where I've felt more scared and alone. Blah.
Anyway, the test itself wasn't so bad; the nurse and the tech were very nice. The iv was scary and it did bruise me, and the heat sensation was like everyone said. I really thought I had wet myself. Yuck! But in all it only lasted 20 minutes. And the result is, no Diverticulitis. Nope, an ovaian cyst ruptured. There were two right next to each other, and they fought til one just popped under the strain. Hooray! Plus I may have a fiberiod in my uterus. And then the doctor told me (as she read the report) I have a cyst on my left kidney, but it's okay, cause the right one is fine. WHAT?!?!? Why even say that then? SERIOUSLY!
So I got to go back for an ultrasound in 6 weeks. What fun! Because really, who wants a working uterus?
It all started back on May 29th. It was a few days before my period and I was getting weird and painful cramps. My stomache was all tied in knots too, but I figured it was just a normal spoke in the menstral cycle. But it just would not go away. At best, the feeling was like a hot rock trying to push itself out of my lower left side under my belly button. At worst, it was a very sharp pain that just zipped out all over the place. I felt all bloaty, my pants hurt unless I pull the waistband way up. But me being the way I am, I waited almost two weeks before I went to the doctor. I thought it was just my intestines being difficult, like they can be.
I made an appointment with my regular doctor's office after my gyno (who's in Nutley) had to reschedule due to the power outage. Regular Doc (actually a PA) pokes and prods, asks a few questions where I tell her I have tummy trouble and possibly ovarian cysts, then says it's probably Diverticulitis. Great, another old person's ailment! I just need Scabies and Rickets to add to the Shingles from last year and I'll have a bingo. She sends me for a blood test and has her nurse call the insurance about getting the CT. Lucky for me, the blood taking nurse (I know there is another name for it) is a sweetie (unlike the last time I was there) and draws my blood with hardly a pinch, and no brusing or passed out Kellys! They are looking for signs of infection that will confirm the Diverticulitis. In the meantime, I have to take anitbiotics, go on a liquid diet & return in two days. Do you know how hard it is to stick to a liquid diet when you don't feel sick? Intestinal pain is different than all out flu sick, and I am used to food hurting me. It sucks, I cheated and I paid for it.
When I went back to the regular Doc, they said there was no sign of infection (which is good because we may have caught it early) and the insurance clear the CT. The CT is going to be the day after the rescheduled Gyno appointment. I'm a bit nervous all week about it.
Now, let me tell you the funny story of the trip to the Gyno. We start the day at the front desk at the full time job. We all have to take turns there since they laid off the receptionist about a month ago, and I really don't like it. I spend 4 hours wrestling phone calls, wrangling sales people, herding clients and everyone's cranky. One sales person even snaps at me, which puts me in a really foul mood. I leave for the Gyno and end up 5 minutes late cause all the old people are driving the Avenue in their slow huge old car glory and have taken all the free spot under the medical building. I have to root through my glove box for change for the meter. The Gyno makes me wait 20 bare ass cold minutes. When he asks how I'm doing I tell him about the pain in my side. Or I start to at any rate. When I start with the "It started right before my period" he inturrupts me with this long speil about how I don't get a "PERIOD" because I am on the pill and it prevents eggs and blah blah blah. I don't care what it technically is, the painfully, lumpy red stuff that drops out from between my legs on a fairly regular schedule for a few days shall always be my fucking PERIOD because that is the easiest and most common name to describe it. Maybe it would have been better if I had said the pain started a few days before my "shiny red hate monkey fell out of the tree onto the cotton coffin". Then he went on to say that I was just being overly sensitive because from the two seconds his fingers were up there he didn't feel anything wrong and it was probably irritable bowel due to a swollen uterus like 98.999% of women have, but I should go ahead with the test anyway, just in case. Needless to say I felt like a stupid headcase when I left.
I hadn't yet eaten, so I figured I could get a slice of Ralph's pizza to make myself feel better after the Gyno. i had only a dollar on me, so I stopped at the PNC to get 10 out. Wouldn't you know it, I was now 20 overdrawn from paying for the Gyno. I JUST WANTED SOME DAMN PIZZA COMFORT!!!!! Bastards!!! Why must you thwart me at every turn today!! I called my sister and cried the whole way back to work. Maybe I was being silly, or a hypochondriac. Poor Kerry, she was a good sport about it though. Thanks again.
I went to pick up the Barium stuff after work, as well as get instructions for the test. I got the banana flavored one, I figured it would taste the most like a soy shake. I was right and it wasn't so bad. I was so nervous though, my inside were like water. I took two tylenol PM to help me sleep, cause I knew I'd be awake all night. I hate needles and I've never had an iv that I could remember. And what if they found something, or worse nothing and the pain was all in my head. I'm hard pressed to find a night where I've felt more scared and alone. Blah.
Anyway, the test itself wasn't so bad; the nurse and the tech were very nice. The iv was scary and it did bruise me, and the heat sensation was like everyone said. I really thought I had wet myself. Yuck! But in all it only lasted 20 minutes. And the result is, no Diverticulitis. Nope, an ovaian cyst ruptured. There were two right next to each other, and they fought til one just popped under the strain. Hooray! Plus I may have a fiberiod in my uterus. And then the doctor told me (as she read the report) I have a cyst on my left kidney, but it's okay, cause the right one is fine. WHAT?!?!? Why even say that then? SERIOUSLY!
So I got to go back for an ultrasound in 6 weeks. What fun! Because really, who wants a working uterus?