Dah-do-Ron-ran-ran...
So, uhm...
It seems as though my long-distance romance has run its course.
We had gotten into the habit of talking at least every couple of days on the phone, so I was surprised and little hurt when I didn't hear from him on my birthday. - Or the following week.
I tried to call him every couple of days, but he didn't pick up and he didn't call back. This Monday, a full week after my birthday and a week and a half since I'd talked to him last, I decided to try him one more time and then start putting it behind me. Of course, that's when he picked up the phone.
Him: "Hey. I've been a bad boy."
Me: "Yes."
Him: "I didn't call you on your birthday."
Me: "You didn't call me for a week. What's going on?"
Him: "Oh nothing, just hanging out on this boat... I feel bad about forgetting your birthday though."
Me: "So you thought you'd remedy that by not calling for a week?"
Him: " 'Remedy?' Heh. No, I'm sorry, I've just been... well, at first I'd spent all my money so I couldn't afford a phone card, and then I was just really busy with all this stuff going on..."
Me: "Well, I don't really know what to say to that. I had expected a somewhat more substantial reason than "really busy and broke." I mean, if you think this long-distance thing is a hassle and it sucks to call me, then I think that's what we should be doing. I understand."
Him: "No no, *we're* fine! I've had some stuff going on but it has nothing to do with you. I still think about you. It's a family thing, but I can't tell you now because I'm at work. I'll call you later and explain and then I'm sure you'll understand."
Me: "Well, I want to understand."
Him: "I *promise* to call you tonight."
...
I didn't hold my breath waiting for his call, and it's a good thing I didn't because I'd be dead now. Seeing as this is Wednesday and all...
If I could've done one thing different in that conversation it would've been to stress that this was his last and final chance. I don't think it would've made much difference, but at least then I'd feel more free to move on from here. Now I'm trapped in this weird limbo of not knowing whether something serious really IS going on with his family and I'm being a high maintenance drama queen, or if he really thought that the best way to end this would be to lie to me and then ignore me. That last part frankly surprises me if that's the case, because none of his other actions tell me that he's a coward, and he knows better than to try and get away with lying to me. That's how this whole thing started. With the words, "Ya can't bullshit a bullshitter, darlin'." But I suppose it's not really lying, more like laziness.
Oh well, my life goes on. Well, it will any day now. I might hear from him, I might not. I'm done calling.
This whole experience at least gives me some hope in that there might still be someone out there who's capable of getting under my skin. The connection I had with this guy certainly felt like it went beyond the few brief hours we were together, but it didn't go beyond an ocean and that frankly doesn't surprise me. Not much does. What surprised me was his need to make it so.
In the end, it doesn't matter what I believe. The facts I have in front of me is that he's not calling for whatever reason, and that is apparently the only information he is willing to provide on the matter. That makes a relationship - long-distance or otherwise - null and void. And I guess that's just that.