A trainwreck of a weekend
Oh my goodness, what a mess.
This weekend was my brother's and sister-in-law's combined 50th birthday party. My brother and Sven's brother, Bjarne, became fast friends at Sven's bachelor party and our subsequent wedding, and have been socializing privately, so of course Bjarne and his wife were also invited to the party. They live quite far away, so we'd made arrangements that they would crash with us.
I... wasn't really up for any of it. I'd had a very long week, which was in large part my own fault and my own socializing, but which had none-the-less left me a bit drained once the weekend rolled around. So I had too much to drink, too little to eat, fell off my chair and decided to take a nap. It was not my finest hour. My niece asked me if I wasn't embarrassed, which, meh. I've fallen down so many times and done so much stupid shit, drunk AND sober, that I just don't care anymore.
Anyway, Sven came and found me when it was time to go home, and I certainly wasn't the only one feeling the effects of the alcohol, because what started out as annoyance that the taxi took its sweet time showing up, turned into Bjarne tearing into Sven and me over completely ridiculous and imagined slights. The man has an impressive temper, which he barely manages to contain while sober. When he's drunk, he's completely beyond reason.
So, apparently, Sven and I are "so high and mighty" and consider ourselves "too good for the likes of" him and his family. Which is the only possible explanation for why we don't socialize with them as often as we used to. He's also pretty sure it's somehow all my fault, as I've clearly poisened Sven's mind with my snobbish tendencies. Clearly.
And how it was demeaning that he actually had to be the one to make the call to make the arrangement that they could sleep over, when it clearly should have been up to us to have enough foresight to call and invite them to stay. Which only further proves how completely selfish we are. (I had given that party exactly zero thought, so my foresight was... non-existent, granted. I still don't quite understand how I was supposed to know with any kind of certainty who was and was not invited...)
And since we don't have kids, and "therefore have nothing better to do," he is completely mystified as to why we don't come visit more often.
Not to get into a lot of history, but this is actually the second time that Bjarne has turned on Sven in this manner. The last time, he even took a swing at him, which was promptly returned. And Bjarne thinks that because he's apologized for that, it should be ancient history, and we should all just move on and preferably pretend it never happened. But Sven doesn't work that way. He forgives, but he doesn't forget. And he's told Bjarne, outright, that he needs time for the scars to heal, and that things won't ever be the same again. Sorry, but such is the nature of things. Bjarne only has himself to thank.
And no, we don't have kids, which is apparently the only acceptable excuse for not living up to everybody else's demands of you and your time, but we do have a business that we work our asses off to maintain and build. We've worked off a little over a million dollars in debt over only five years, in a recession. And we are fiercely protective of what little free time that's left to us. We spend it as WE see fit. Because it is OUR time.
Sven told his brother that he is clearly not well. That it is an insane notion to expect people to live their lives according to what suits Bjarne.
As for wanting people to want to spend more time with you... - do ya really think yelling at them is gonna achieve that? "Hey, I feel like driving for 1,5 hours only to be verbally abused and told really hurtful things - let's go see how Bjarne is doing!"
And the kids thing... For fuck's sake: People having kids, or not having kids, IS NOT ABOUT YOU! Neither will it ever BE about you. Because it has nothing to DO with you. Try a little empathy, and quit stomping around in what is most likely a sore spot. As Bjarne well knows, because he has felt my righteous fury about this before, when he told me it was inconvenient for him that his kids are now too old to play with ours, should we have any, and we probably should've gotten on that sooner.
So, after a very tense cab ride, which Bjarne insisted on overpaying for to prove some kind of point, we arrived home, only for Sven and Bjarne to continue a fairly one-sided shouting match outside and all around our house, at 4 in the morning. That's not embarrassing or inappropriate at all...!
Sven finally crawled into bed, well after sunrise, called his brother an idiot, and went to sleep. We woke up around 11 and both had the same thought: Let's just stay in bed until they leave. But, Sven still got up and fixed everyone breakfast, and they left shortly after.
Sven told me he is so sick of his brother and all his self-involved drama.
And that, kids, is what you call a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This weekend was my brother's and sister-in-law's combined 50th birthday party. My brother and Sven's brother, Bjarne, became fast friends at Sven's bachelor party and our subsequent wedding, and have been socializing privately, so of course Bjarne and his wife were also invited to the party. They live quite far away, so we'd made arrangements that they would crash with us.
I... wasn't really up for any of it. I'd had a very long week, which was in large part my own fault and my own socializing, but which had none-the-less left me a bit drained once the weekend rolled around. So I had too much to drink, too little to eat, fell off my chair and decided to take a nap. It was not my finest hour. My niece asked me if I wasn't embarrassed, which, meh. I've fallen down so many times and done so much stupid shit, drunk AND sober, that I just don't care anymore.
Anyway, Sven came and found me when it was time to go home, and I certainly wasn't the only one feeling the effects of the alcohol, because what started out as annoyance that the taxi took its sweet time showing up, turned into Bjarne tearing into Sven and me over completely ridiculous and imagined slights. The man has an impressive temper, which he barely manages to contain while sober. When he's drunk, he's completely beyond reason.
So, apparently, Sven and I are "so high and mighty" and consider ourselves "too good for the likes of" him and his family. Which is the only possible explanation for why we don't socialize with them as often as we used to. He's also pretty sure it's somehow all my fault, as I've clearly poisened Sven's mind with my snobbish tendencies. Clearly.
And how it was demeaning that he actually had to be the one to make the call to make the arrangement that they could sleep over, when it clearly should have been up to us to have enough foresight to call and invite them to stay. Which only further proves how completely selfish we are. (I had given that party exactly zero thought, so my foresight was... non-existent, granted. I still don't quite understand how I was supposed to know with any kind of certainty who was and was not invited...)
And since we don't have kids, and "therefore have nothing better to do," he is completely mystified as to why we don't come visit more often.
Not to get into a lot of history, but this is actually the second time that Bjarne has turned on Sven in this manner. The last time, he even took a swing at him, which was promptly returned. And Bjarne thinks that because he's apologized for that, it should be ancient history, and we should all just move on and preferably pretend it never happened. But Sven doesn't work that way. He forgives, but he doesn't forget. And he's told Bjarne, outright, that he needs time for the scars to heal, and that things won't ever be the same again. Sorry, but such is the nature of things. Bjarne only has himself to thank.
And no, we don't have kids, which is apparently the only acceptable excuse for not living up to everybody else's demands of you and your time, but we do have a business that we work our asses off to maintain and build. We've worked off a little over a million dollars in debt over only five years, in a recession. And we are fiercely protective of what little free time that's left to us. We spend it as WE see fit. Because it is OUR time.
Sven told his brother that he is clearly not well. That it is an insane notion to expect people to live their lives according to what suits Bjarne.
As for wanting people to want to spend more time with you... - do ya really think yelling at them is gonna achieve that? "Hey, I feel like driving for 1,5 hours only to be verbally abused and told really hurtful things - let's go see how Bjarne is doing!"
And the kids thing... For fuck's sake: People having kids, or not having kids, IS NOT ABOUT YOU! Neither will it ever BE about you. Because it has nothing to DO with you. Try a little empathy, and quit stomping around in what is most likely a sore spot. As Bjarne well knows, because he has felt my righteous fury about this before, when he told me it was inconvenient for him that his kids are now too old to play with ours, should we have any, and we probably should've gotten on that sooner.
So, after a very tense cab ride, which Bjarne insisted on overpaying for to prove some kind of point, we arrived home, only for Sven and Bjarne to continue a fairly one-sided shouting match outside and all around our house, at 4 in the morning. That's not embarrassing or inappropriate at all...!
Sven finally crawled into bed, well after sunrise, called his brother an idiot, and went to sleep. We woke up around 11 and both had the same thought: Let's just stay in bed until they leave. But, Sven still got up and fixed everyone breakfast, and they left shortly after.
Sven told me he is so sick of his brother and all his self-involved drama.
And that, kids, is what you call a self-fulfilling prophecy.