(no subject)
i am so confused and hurt about how i feel for alex. i always thought in the end if i didn't end up with CJ i'd end up with alex. and i still find myself wondering what things he says mean and why he does certain things.. or what his friends are implying.. so if i don't care at all about him why do i concern myself with that stuff. i can't share this with anyone because it makes me feel crazy. if i don't know or understand me how could anyone else. CJ got it all and more. i want to tell steve so much but i even this feels too much for our conversations. i myself for once actually feel crazy. my heart is breaking and my mind is a wreck. i just want to know i get a happy ending.