An Infallible Reason {0}
{0}: i found a shoulder to lean on, an infallible reason to live all by itself;
i took one last look from the heights that i once loved, and then i ran like hell
It wasn't so long ago that Merlin would look over the railings of the balcony, see his own body, bloody, broken and lifeless, on the pavement and not feel a thing. Not today. Today, he's leaning over the balcony and watching the building entrance, waiting for Arthur to come home from work. They're throwing a small party (just a few select friends, Merlin's mom joining them later) to celebrate Merlin's official moving in. He sold his condo two days ago, after a few long discussions of all the pros and cons of the project Arthur and Merlin: living together. The truth is, Merlin had made his decision long ago, before he sold the apartment, before he even considered selling. He can't quite pinpoint the exact moment when he realized that he never wanted to move out, but he knows it was probably around the exact same time he realized Arthur saved his life.
If it weren't for Arthur, Merlin never would have thought twice about jumping out of a second-storey window. If it weren't for Arthur, Merlin would never have looked for help, would never have even left his flat; he would have stayed in his bed until he starved to death. And, most importantly, if it weren't for Arthur, Merlin never would have known that he had a reason to rebuild himself, to continue living.
Arthur was the one who showed Merlin that he had people to rely on, people who loved him and would support him through anything. It took a lot of time, tears, fear and struggle for Merlin to finally realize - that's enough. But now he knows, that for as long as there is even one person who will be there for him, he will have a reason to live.
And when his best reason so far walks through the door, Merlin steps away from the edge, smiling, and goes inside to greet Arthur.