Platonic
Title: Platonic
Pairing: YamaChii
Genre: sad/angst
Rating: PG
Word count: 1035 words
Yamada took a long drink from his can and drained the last drop, crushing it in the process before he threw it aside. He reached for a second can and was about to pull the tab when he felt a hand on his, “Ryosuke, you need to slow it down”, he could hear the disapproval in the voice and sure enough when he looked up, Yamada was met with Yuri’s frown. He blinked, as if confused, but when Yuri shook his head gently, Yamada nodded. He felt Yuri remove his hand from his and couldn’t help but shudder at the lost of warmth against him.
“You know we’re working early tomorrow,” Yuri scolded, though his voice was gentle and Yamada nodded again. He still lifted the tab though but pushed it into Yuri’s hands across the tiny coffee table. “Drink with me,” he urged, reaching out to get another can for himself and cut off Yuri’s protest before he could even speak, “you know it’ll help me sleep better.” Yamada gave Yuri a pointed look and Yuri could feel his resolve crumble, since when was he able to reject Yamada fully? “Alright, alright,” Yuri grumbled and took a sip from his can and gave Yamada a side glance as if proving his point. He was taken aback when Yamada gave him a bright smile and Yuri felt his heart did a somersault. Pleasing Yamada was so easy and Yuri always couldn’t resist satisfying him, just for that smile, just to make him happy.
They were sitting in Yamada’s living room, legs crossed on the soft carpet with the tiny coffee table in between them. Cans of beer surround a bowl of cashew nuts with two crushed ones lying on the floor beside them.
“Are you gonna tell me what happen?” Yuri pressed and watched as Yamada avoided his gaze. Something happened with his girlfriend, Yuri was certain, but this time it felt different and it definitely was different because Yamada refuse to speak. He’s not telling him anything. Usually, he would just complain about how they quarrel over meaningless stuff but today Yamada’s just drowning himself with alcohol and Yuri’s not happy about that.
“It’s...” Yamada started but hesitated and Yuri could tell he was trying to sort out his thoughts so that he could put them into words. He waited patiently, chewing on some cashew nuts and staring at some empty space so as not to stress Yamada. “It’s about you actually,” Yamada blurted, his words mashed together as he got them out fast and Yuri’s eyes widened at the new information. “It’s wha..?” That was definitely unexpected.
“She thinks I’m spending too much time with you, that you’re more important to me than she is...” his voice trailed off as he tried to explain the situation and Yamada gave Yuri a grimace before going back to his beer.
“Did you explain it to her?” Yuri tried.
“I did! I told her you’re important, of course you are, you’re my best friend! Plus we work together, of course we spend more time together. But she just don’t get it!” Yamada’s raised his voice, frustrated over this ridiculous situation and ran his free hand through his hair, messing it up in the process.
Yuri tried to ignore the sharp pain that was invoked by the term “best friend” and took a deep breath to maintain himself. He gave a sympathetic smile to Yamada, hoping it’ll be comforting enough.
“She’s impossible you know. It’s impossible,” Yamada continued gloomily. “Sometimes I wish you’re a girl, then I can just date you.”
Yuri hoped Yamada’s drunk enough to not notice how stiff and forced his smile was and reached out to pat Yamada on his back instead, providing as much comfort as his broken heart could provide.
They drank in silence afterwards and Yuri couldn’t help but ponder over Yamada words. If only things would change with him confessing his feelings for Yamada but Yuri knew that was just wishful thinking on his part and all he could do is to hope and to pray Yamada would never leave him.
It is sad, unrequited love, but being able to stay with Yamada is like a dream to him. A dream he’ll never want to wake up to. At least he will be the one who stay by his side, the one he looks for when he need someone to confide to and that someone he relies on. That’s enough. Yuri assures himself. That’s all he need.
“Ryosuke?”
Yamada had his head in his arms, the half finished can held loosely in his hand, threatening to spill. Yuri eased it out of his hand and placed it aside, out of their range and nudged Yamada. “Come on, up you get,” he pulled at Yamada’s arm, another wrapped around his waist and hoisted him up, staggering slightly under Yamada’s weight. “Let’s get you to bed.”
It took him some effort but Yuri managed to get Yamada up onto his bed safely. He tucked him in, reaching up to push his hair away from his face and his hand lingered. Yuri stroked his cheek gently, allowing himself to give in to his desires before his logical mind stop him from doing so. Yamada gave a sigh and leaned into his touch, seeming to ask for more and Yuri’s hand stilled. One last caress and he was pushing himself up when Yamada reached out from under the blanket to grab at his wrist.
“Will you stay?”
His voice was soft as if afraid Yuri would say no but pleading and Yuri’s heart ached. He looked at him, his heart speeding but Yamada still had his eyes closed, his breathing even and Yuri could tell he was close to falling asleep. He hesitated for a while then sighed. “Okay,” Yuri whispered and felt Yamada’s hold on him go loose.
Yuri looked at Yamada, staring at his peaceful sleeping face as he berated himself once again. Why can’t he just confess? Why is this so hard?
But for now, Yuri knows he just want to stay with Yamada. Because for now, Yamada Ryosuke is still his and it’s just the two of them here.
-------------------
Inspired by Tegoshi’s new solo in EPCOTIA: Platonic. Please check out the song if you can!
Lyrics can be found here:
https://mojim.com/jpy105116x37x20.htm
Pairing: YamaChii
Genre: sad/angst
Rating: PG
Word count: 1035 words
Yamada took a long drink from his can and drained the last drop, crushing it in the process before he threw it aside. He reached for a second can and was about to pull the tab when he felt a hand on his, “Ryosuke, you need to slow it down”, he could hear the disapproval in the voice and sure enough when he looked up, Yamada was met with Yuri’s frown. He blinked, as if confused, but when Yuri shook his head gently, Yamada nodded. He felt Yuri remove his hand from his and couldn’t help but shudder at the lost of warmth against him.
“You know we’re working early tomorrow,” Yuri scolded, though his voice was gentle and Yamada nodded again. He still lifted the tab though but pushed it into Yuri’s hands across the tiny coffee table. “Drink with me,” he urged, reaching out to get another can for himself and cut off Yuri’s protest before he could even speak, “you know it’ll help me sleep better.” Yamada gave Yuri a pointed look and Yuri could feel his resolve crumble, since when was he able to reject Yamada fully? “Alright, alright,” Yuri grumbled and took a sip from his can and gave Yamada a side glance as if proving his point. He was taken aback when Yamada gave him a bright smile and Yuri felt his heart did a somersault. Pleasing Yamada was so easy and Yuri always couldn’t resist satisfying him, just for that smile, just to make him happy.
They were sitting in Yamada’s living room, legs crossed on the soft carpet with the tiny coffee table in between them. Cans of beer surround a bowl of cashew nuts with two crushed ones lying on the floor beside them.
“Are you gonna tell me what happen?” Yuri pressed and watched as Yamada avoided his gaze. Something happened with his girlfriend, Yuri was certain, but this time it felt different and it definitely was different because Yamada refuse to speak. He’s not telling him anything. Usually, he would just complain about how they quarrel over meaningless stuff but today Yamada’s just drowning himself with alcohol and Yuri’s not happy about that.
“It’s...” Yamada started but hesitated and Yuri could tell he was trying to sort out his thoughts so that he could put them into words. He waited patiently, chewing on some cashew nuts and staring at some empty space so as not to stress Yamada. “It’s about you actually,” Yamada blurted, his words mashed together as he got them out fast and Yuri’s eyes widened at the new information. “It’s wha..?” That was definitely unexpected.
“She thinks I’m spending too much time with you, that you’re more important to me than she is...” his voice trailed off as he tried to explain the situation and Yamada gave Yuri a grimace before going back to his beer.
“Did you explain it to her?” Yuri tried.
“I did! I told her you’re important, of course you are, you’re my best friend! Plus we work together, of course we spend more time together. But she just don’t get it!” Yamada’s raised his voice, frustrated over this ridiculous situation and ran his free hand through his hair, messing it up in the process.
Yuri tried to ignore the sharp pain that was invoked by the term “best friend” and took a deep breath to maintain himself. He gave a sympathetic smile to Yamada, hoping it’ll be comforting enough.
“She’s impossible you know. It’s impossible,” Yamada continued gloomily. “Sometimes I wish you’re a girl, then I can just date you.”
Yuri hoped Yamada’s drunk enough to not notice how stiff and forced his smile was and reached out to pat Yamada on his back instead, providing as much comfort as his broken heart could provide.
They drank in silence afterwards and Yuri couldn’t help but ponder over Yamada words. If only things would change with him confessing his feelings for Yamada but Yuri knew that was just wishful thinking on his part and all he could do is to hope and to pray Yamada would never leave him.
It is sad, unrequited love, but being able to stay with Yamada is like a dream to him. A dream he’ll never want to wake up to. At least he will be the one who stay by his side, the one he looks for when he need someone to confide to and that someone he relies on. That’s enough. Yuri assures himself. That’s all he need.
“Ryosuke?”
Yamada had his head in his arms, the half finished can held loosely in his hand, threatening to spill. Yuri eased it out of his hand and placed it aside, out of their range and nudged Yamada. “Come on, up you get,” he pulled at Yamada’s arm, another wrapped around his waist and hoisted him up, staggering slightly under Yamada’s weight. “Let’s get you to bed.”
It took him some effort but Yuri managed to get Yamada up onto his bed safely. He tucked him in, reaching up to push his hair away from his face and his hand lingered. Yuri stroked his cheek gently, allowing himself to give in to his desires before his logical mind stop him from doing so. Yamada gave a sigh and leaned into his touch, seeming to ask for more and Yuri’s hand stilled. One last caress and he was pushing himself up when Yamada reached out from under the blanket to grab at his wrist.
“Will you stay?”
His voice was soft as if afraid Yuri would say no but pleading and Yuri’s heart ached. He looked at him, his heart speeding but Yamada still had his eyes closed, his breathing even and Yuri could tell he was close to falling asleep. He hesitated for a while then sighed. “Okay,” Yuri whispered and felt Yamada’s hold on him go loose.
Yuri looked at Yamada, staring at his peaceful sleeping face as he berated himself once again. Why can’t he just confess? Why is this so hard?
But for now, Yuri knows he just want to stay with Yamada. Because for now, Yamada Ryosuke is still his and it’s just the two of them here.
-------------------
Inspired by Tegoshi’s new solo in EPCOTIA: Platonic. Please check out the song if you can!
Lyrics can be found here:
https://mojim.com/jpy105116x37x20.htm