If Only Time Machine Exists
Title: If Only Time Machine Exists
Pairing: YamaChii
Genre: heartbreaking
Rating: PG
Word count: 1162 words
P.S: If you're not familiar with TegoMasu, listen to タイムマシン & 夜は星をながめておくれ when you read.
Yuri watched from afar as Yamada laughed at something his classmate just said, a sudden warmth attacked his eyes and Yuri looked down swiftly to wipe away the tears that collected. Maybe, just one more try. Breathing in hard, Yuri stood up and made his way over to Yamada.
“Ryo..” He started but quickly changed his way of calling “Yamada-kun.” Yamada looked up and away from his group of friends, his eyes turning cold the moment he saw Yuri. Silence followed and Yuri’s heart plunged into an icy cold pool. Those eyes that had once looked at him so lovingly had changed. It was his fault. It was all his fault. Yuri reached out and grabbed Yamada’s wrist, attempting to pull him to somewhere private, attempting to reach out to his heart once again but it was those eyes that stopped him from moving. They looked so foreign and it hurts to see Yamada looking at him as if he was someone he loath. Words faltered and Yuri backed away from Yamada, releasing his grip as he did so. Tears threatened to fall and Yuri ran away before he broke down in front of everyone.
That night, Yamada was busy gaming when he heard a buzz and saw his phone screen light up at the corner of his eyes. Peering over, he saw that it was a message from Yuri. He hesitated, his game forgotten. Should he risk it? What if he was hurt again? Yamada watched as the light from his phone slowly dimmed and then black out entirely. He wasn’t sure. It was long before he could recover, to be able to smile in front of others and he couldn’t bear to get hurt so deeply again. He moved before he realized it and his phone was in his hands. Unlocking it, he clicked on the message and read:
Sometimes I wish there’s time machines in this world. Because then I would be able to reverse time and change everything that I’ve done. I know I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry. I know you hate me too, so don’t worry because I will make myself disappear. You won’t ever see me again. I just want you to know, that I will always love you.
- With all my love, Chinen Yuri
Yamada didn’t realise he was holding his breath until he breathe out deeply. Somehow, he had a bad feeling about this. The look on Yuri’s face flashed across his mind. That painful look and that eyes, full of despair. Yamada had noticed them but he had chosen to ignore. In an instant, he was out of his house, running out to the street to hail the first cab he could see. Lights flashed by as the cab drove down the familiar road to Yuri’s house. His phone lighted up once again, triggered by Yamada’s strong grip on it and it reflected a photo of them both, a few years ago when they just got together. Yuri was smiling happily to the camera, bearing a look of surprise because right beside him Yamada had sneaked a kiss on his cheeks when the shutter clicked.
A few minutes later, Yamada arrived at Yuri’s apartment and he ran up the stairs immediately. It was dark inside and Yamada immediately flung himself at the door, banging and shouting loudly for Yuri. No one came to answer and he was so anxious that he tried the door knob. It opened easily, the door was unlocked and it opened to a house full of darkness.
“Chinen?” Yamada tried as he tried to feel his way around the darkness. It was unusually quiet inside and that uneasy feeling Yamada had got worse. He caught something reflecting the moonlight streaming in from the window, he moved in closer and gasped. Yuri was sprawled on the ground, in an awkward position and in his arms was a photo frame. That was what had caught the light.
“Chinen?” Yamada tried again but to no avail. His hands were shaking when he reached out to touch Yuri, his finger hovering beneath his nose for any sense of breathing. He felt nothing. The air was still. “no..no…” Lips quivering, Yamada knelt down beside Yuri, his hands hanging beside him, unsure of what to do. He want to pick him up and hug him tightly. He want to tell him everything’s fine but he can’t. Instead, he pulled the photo frame out of Yuri’s arms and looked at it. Yamada couldn’t hold his tears anymore and it fell as he touched the cold glass frame. Inside was another version of the photo he had set as his phone wallpaper. He could still feel Yuri’s warm lips on his cheek. Despair attacked him and Yamada felt as if his heart had stopped. Fresh air wouldn’t enter and he blacked out.
Years later. It was the festive season and the streets were lighted up with colourful fairy lights to add on to the festive mood. Yamada walked down the street, alone, avoiding the bright lights and away from the noise of the bustling crowd. He shivered as a light breeze passed by and he snuggled in deeper to the muffler that was wrapped around his neck. Something fell before his eyes and Yamada looked up to see snowflakes falling from the sky. It was dark but the fairy lights looked like stars twinkling in the distance. He recalled something Yuri had told him the past. It was when they were star gazing and Yuri had his head on Yamada’s chest. “Ryosuke..” he had started, his voice really soft. “If one day, I’m unable to be by your side, look up into the night sky and search for the brightest sky,” Yuri tilted his head back and looked into Yamada’s eyes, “that’s me, watching over you.” Yuri smiled gently, his eyes sparkling as he looked at Yamada. Yamada had kissed his forehead then, scolding him for saying such words before pulling him into his arms and hugging him tight. “I won’t let you leave me,” he had said.
Suddenly, he saw a figure, far in the distance. “Chinen…?” That figure had turned and he gave Yamada a bright smile, beckoning him to come. Yamada’s lips tugged into a smile, his face stiff from the cold. “Wait, don’t go!” Yamada broke into a run as he watch Yuri turn and walk away from him. Heads turned when a loud screech was heard and people nearby screamed in shock. Yamada could hear voices around him, “Someone call the ambulance!!” “He’s so young..” “Is he going to die?” but they were all faint and sound like a distance away. He could still see Yuri calling out to him and he smiled, a proper smile in years. His eyes got misty and a single tear fell as Yamada’s last breath left him, a hint of a smile still lingered. Blood pooled around him, soaking his clothes as it spreads.
_________________________________________________
Inspired by TegoMasu's songs! Looooove Time Machine and Yoru wa Hoshi wo nagameteokure is one of my fav.
Comments please?
Also long live YamaChii lol.
Pairing: YamaChii
Genre: heartbreaking
Rating: PG
Word count: 1162 words
P.S: If you're not familiar with TegoMasu, listen to タイムマシン & 夜は星をながめておくれ when you read.
Yuri watched from afar as Yamada laughed at something his classmate just said, a sudden warmth attacked his eyes and Yuri looked down swiftly to wipe away the tears that collected. Maybe, just one more try. Breathing in hard, Yuri stood up and made his way over to Yamada.
“Ryo..” He started but quickly changed his way of calling “Yamada-kun.” Yamada looked up and away from his group of friends, his eyes turning cold the moment he saw Yuri. Silence followed and Yuri’s heart plunged into an icy cold pool. Those eyes that had once looked at him so lovingly had changed. It was his fault. It was all his fault. Yuri reached out and grabbed Yamada’s wrist, attempting to pull him to somewhere private, attempting to reach out to his heart once again but it was those eyes that stopped him from moving. They looked so foreign and it hurts to see Yamada looking at him as if he was someone he loath. Words faltered and Yuri backed away from Yamada, releasing his grip as he did so. Tears threatened to fall and Yuri ran away before he broke down in front of everyone.
That night, Yamada was busy gaming when he heard a buzz and saw his phone screen light up at the corner of his eyes. Peering over, he saw that it was a message from Yuri. He hesitated, his game forgotten. Should he risk it? What if he was hurt again? Yamada watched as the light from his phone slowly dimmed and then black out entirely. He wasn’t sure. It was long before he could recover, to be able to smile in front of others and he couldn’t bear to get hurt so deeply again. He moved before he realized it and his phone was in his hands. Unlocking it, he clicked on the message and read:
Sometimes I wish there’s time machines in this world. Because then I would be able to reverse time and change everything that I’ve done. I know I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry. I know you hate me too, so don’t worry because I will make myself disappear. You won’t ever see me again. I just want you to know, that I will always love you.
- With all my love, Chinen Yuri
Yamada didn’t realise he was holding his breath until he breathe out deeply. Somehow, he had a bad feeling about this. The look on Yuri’s face flashed across his mind. That painful look and that eyes, full of despair. Yamada had noticed them but he had chosen to ignore. In an instant, he was out of his house, running out to the street to hail the first cab he could see. Lights flashed by as the cab drove down the familiar road to Yuri’s house. His phone lighted up once again, triggered by Yamada’s strong grip on it and it reflected a photo of them both, a few years ago when they just got together. Yuri was smiling happily to the camera, bearing a look of surprise because right beside him Yamada had sneaked a kiss on his cheeks when the shutter clicked.
A few minutes later, Yamada arrived at Yuri’s apartment and he ran up the stairs immediately. It was dark inside and Yamada immediately flung himself at the door, banging and shouting loudly for Yuri. No one came to answer and he was so anxious that he tried the door knob. It opened easily, the door was unlocked and it opened to a house full of darkness.
“Chinen?” Yamada tried as he tried to feel his way around the darkness. It was unusually quiet inside and that uneasy feeling Yamada had got worse. He caught something reflecting the moonlight streaming in from the window, he moved in closer and gasped. Yuri was sprawled on the ground, in an awkward position and in his arms was a photo frame. That was what had caught the light.
“Chinen?” Yamada tried again but to no avail. His hands were shaking when he reached out to touch Yuri, his finger hovering beneath his nose for any sense of breathing. He felt nothing. The air was still. “no..no…” Lips quivering, Yamada knelt down beside Yuri, his hands hanging beside him, unsure of what to do. He want to pick him up and hug him tightly. He want to tell him everything’s fine but he can’t. Instead, he pulled the photo frame out of Yuri’s arms and looked at it. Yamada couldn’t hold his tears anymore and it fell as he touched the cold glass frame. Inside was another version of the photo he had set as his phone wallpaper. He could still feel Yuri’s warm lips on his cheek. Despair attacked him and Yamada felt as if his heart had stopped. Fresh air wouldn’t enter and he blacked out.
Years later. It was the festive season and the streets were lighted up with colourful fairy lights to add on to the festive mood. Yamada walked down the street, alone, avoiding the bright lights and away from the noise of the bustling crowd. He shivered as a light breeze passed by and he snuggled in deeper to the muffler that was wrapped around his neck. Something fell before his eyes and Yamada looked up to see snowflakes falling from the sky. It was dark but the fairy lights looked like stars twinkling in the distance. He recalled something Yuri had told him the past. It was when they were star gazing and Yuri had his head on Yamada’s chest. “Ryosuke..” he had started, his voice really soft. “If one day, I’m unable to be by your side, look up into the night sky and search for the brightest sky,” Yuri tilted his head back and looked into Yamada’s eyes, “that’s me, watching over you.” Yuri smiled gently, his eyes sparkling as he looked at Yamada. Yamada had kissed his forehead then, scolding him for saying such words before pulling him into his arms and hugging him tight. “I won’t let you leave me,” he had said.
Suddenly, he saw a figure, far in the distance. “Chinen…?” That figure had turned and he gave Yamada a bright smile, beckoning him to come. Yamada’s lips tugged into a smile, his face stiff from the cold. “Wait, don’t go!” Yamada broke into a run as he watch Yuri turn and walk away from him. Heads turned when a loud screech was heard and people nearby screamed in shock. Yamada could hear voices around him, “Someone call the ambulance!!” “He’s so young..” “Is he going to die?” but they were all faint and sound like a distance away. He could still see Yuri calling out to him and he smiled, a proper smile in years. His eyes got misty and a single tear fell as Yamada’s last breath left him, a hint of a smile still lingered. Blood pooled around him, soaking his clothes as it spreads.
_________________________________________________
Inspired by TegoMasu's songs! Looooove Time Machine and Yoru wa Hoshi wo nagameteokure is one of my fav.
Comments please?
Also long live YamaChii lol.