Impressions-twilight fanfic chapter 12
Title: Impressions
Rating: PG-13 (Language)
Summary: Bella is a single, shy, and timid writer. Edward is an engaged, charming, and handsome businessman. What do you get when Bella has to cover "Seattle's New Couple?"
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer I own nothing.
Comments: AU, AH. I couldn't get this plot bunny out of my head. It demanded to be written.
Chapter 12
Edward's POV.
I was sitting at the table, waiting for Tanya to come home. I had spent the better part of the day contemplating my current situation. Yeah it was pretty fucked up and I was probably going to hell but I could still try to fix it. At least now I can say that I tried to.
I wasn't sure how tonight would play out. Tanya is a nice girl, but she's like a leech; she holds on and doesn't let go. After two years, she's still here.
The clock indicated that it was nearing six thirty. She would walk through the door any minute. Was I nervous? Perhaps I was. But, this had to be done. I owed her that much.
I got up and went to the fridge; I took out two bottles of water and set them down on the table. It was best to have a non-alcoholic drink during this discussion. I would have opted to order in dinner but I didn't want to lead her on and I didn't need any un necessary distractions like food.
Just as I sat down on a chair the door opened and she walked in. She set her purse on the counter top and looked at me. I met her gaze and feel guilty. It was evident htat she had been crying and I felt like an asshole for being the person to cause her that.
She noticed the bottle of water. "For me?"
"Yes." I shoved it towards her.
She took it and uncapped it. "Thank you." she spoke softly.
I didn't know how to proceed now. She may not be in the right state of mind because of her crying. Being emotional would not help, though in the end I knew it was inevitable.
Before I could continue my train of thought she set her water down and then pushed a small shiny object towards me. "Keep it."
I looked down at the object; it was her engagement ring. She gave the ring back. Does that mean it's over between us? Or does it mean that we aren't getting married?
"What does this mean?" I asked.
"'It means that I don't want to marry you." she said sadly.
"I see."
She took a deep breath and then took another drink of water. "I also think it's best if we don't see each other anymore. Or ever."
That surprised me. She was breaking up with me? I had this whole thing planned out. I never would have thought she would do this.
"Did you hear me Edward?"
I glanced at her warily. "Yes, I did."
"I'm moving back with my parents. I'll collect my things over the weekend."
"Tanya we have to talk about this."
She shifted in her seat. "What's there to say? You don't love me and you never did. I was foolish to believe otherwise."
"That's not true. I love you it's just that...."
She slapped her hand on the table. "Don't please. I can't bear to hear why you don't love me or whatever the hell it is you were going to say. I need to leave with some dignity Edward. I deserve that much."
I nodded my head. She continued.
"I love you Edward, I do. And I know I'm a foolish woman for doing so. But at the same time I'm scared to death about marrying you. I feel pressure from my parents to settle down and start a family. They've always loved you and they always wanted us to merge together. I suppose the reason I stayed around so long was because I had to prove something to them. I don't want this though. Not like this."
Pinching the bridge of my nose I responded. "I love you too, but not enough to marry you and give you what you deserve. I'm not the guy you need. I know I've caused you a lot of grief and I'm sorry. But you're right; it can't be like this. We're not in love."
Teas were slipping down her cheeks. "I know."
"What do you want Tanya?"
"Something better than this." she replied.
I got up and went to the living room, retrieving a box of tissue. I placed it on the table for her. "I'm very sorry." I said.
"I know. Your the only thing I've ever had Edward and it scares me to think about what's out there. But I want to try."
I smiled. Perhaps this talk was exactly what we both needed. It pained us to do this yet, it was helping and oddly therapeutic. "You can have anything you want Tanya. I have faith in you."
She laughed. "And there's that Cullen charm. Maybe that's what drew me to you."
I laughed along with her. "Perhaps." I conceded. "But you know us Cullen men can't help it. It's just embedded in us."
She rolled her eyes. "Isn't that the truth?" she murmured.
"You don't have to leave Tanya."
She shook her head. "No, I have to." she disagreed.
"I should leave. It's not right if you leave." I reasoned.
"I want to leave Edward." she replied.
"Where does this leave us?" I asked.
"Exes." she said simply.
I laughed a bit bitterly. "So it does."
She got up and went to me. She placed her hand on my shoulder and squeezed. "I may not be in love with you Edward, but I do love you as a person. And I'm sorry that I'm not the one for you. I do know that you will find that one person who is perfect for you. Try not screw it up." she smirked.
I placed my hand over hers. "'I'm sorry for every thing I ever did to make you sad. And that this didn't work out. You'll find someone better."
She shrugged. "That's the plan."
Two weeks later I was home alone in an empty apartment. After that night Tanya and I continued living together but she and I went around looking for a new place for her. I've thought this before, and now I feel more confident in saying, Tanya was more like a friend than a lover. She and I just didn't click romantically. We got a long just fine but we were best suited as friends if anything.
It didn't escape me that I had failed to mention Bella in the middle of our talk. I had originally planned on telling Tanya but it didn't happen.
I also hadn't made any un-announced visits to Bella. I hadn't called her or any other type of contact. Now that Tanya and I were over I had to carefully devise my plan to pursue Bella. Wait. Pursue Bella? Did I want to pursue her?
If I'm being completely honest with myself, then yes. Bella holds more than attraction on me. I couldn't treat Bella like the other girls.
Girls like Bella are in a whole different league than the girls I've been with. Bella is innocent and wholesome. She's untainted and pure. She's alluring and beautiful. She's perfect. Most importantly, Bella was fragile and delicate. She breaks easily. And if I hurt her I knew she wouldn't get back together the way Tanya did. There was a part of me wondering if I was moving on too fast. But another part me was saying that in order to move on I would have to be involved with someone else. And I wasn't involved with Bella, not yet. But, perhaps I should lay off of her. She was part of the reason for my breakup with Tanya not that I blamed Bella for it. No, it wasn't her fault. It was mine, I knew that, but Bella triggered something.
I knew I had to earn Bella. She wasn't just going to fall in love with me. I had to earn her trust and really ease up on the rare visits. If I could build up a friendship with Bella then maybe, just maybe we could head into a different direction.
***
Tanya's POV.
It hurt me to let go of him. It hurt me that I knew I wasn't the one for him. It hurt me that he didn't put up a fight for me.
I was stupid and should have known better. Did I honestly expect more from him? I know he isn't a bad person and he has reasons for being the way he is. But at one time I convinced myself that I would be the one to break him. I would be the girl who made him want to do better. I wanted to be the girl that captured his heart.
Foolish.
Originally, I was wary about dating him. I knew of him. And our families went way back. I hung out with him at all those functions and gala's. But that was it. It wasn't until my mother kept hinting that Edward was single did I catch on.
Our relationship wasn't perfect but it was good enough, or so I thought. I could feel we lacked certain stuff but that would come in time.
Planning the wedding made me see things. It put a lot into perspective. Marriage was a vow, a promise. It was commitment in it's finest form. And it scared the hell out of me. I thought marrying him was the answer to our relationship instead it was the way out.
***
Bella's POV.
Weeks passed and I still hadn't seen or heard of Edward. Not since his surprise visit when we had pizza and watched movies and I was wondering when he would pop up next.
Nothing exciting was happening in my life as of late. Rosalie was home more often but I suspect it's for Emmett's benefit, and not mine. I wasn't bitter though, she was happy and that was good enough for me. Work was work. I had a new assignment. I would be writing more travel related pieces again. Jessica was back and I was very pleased.
Tonight Rosalie was having Emmett and a "guest" coming to our place for dinner. In other words, I would cook and she would tidy up and then she would get the both of us ready. I told her repeatedly that I wasn't very keen about a blind date. She assured me it wasn't a blind date. She said she wanted Emmett to get to know me and that his friend had just gone through a tough breakup and he could use the cheering up. Great! I thought, my best friend is pimping me out to some loser who couldn't keep his girlfriend. I, of course, did not win our debate so here I am dressed in a royal blue wrap around dress and white flats. My hair was kept down and it had it's usual wave. Makeup was kept fairly neutral. I had some eye shadow and Rose applied some liquid liner and I was wearing a coral lip gloss.
"Bella! The food in the oven?" Rosalie frantically asked.
Poor girl, she was so nervous. I sighed heavily. I gotta suck it up for Rose. I could do this.
"Yeah. It's fine Rose. Relax." I said.
She nodded her head up and down. "Ok. Right. Relax."
"Breathe." I said.
She squeezed my hand. "Thanks for doing this."
I was about to reply to her when we both heard a loud knock at our door.
"They're here!" she cried.