Surrogate - Chapter 4
Title: Surrogate - Chapter 4
Author: Christine Collins
Genre: Supernatural Romance
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1440
Comments: Unedited
Chapter 4
Marie sat nervously on the couch as she waited for Allison and Nathaniel to come back downstairs. She wasn't happy with this plan to begin with but now that he was actually in the same house with her she was really having second thoughts and third thoughts and fourth...
She didn't know what she had expected him to be like, she hadn't really had time to think about it actually. But even if she'd had days to wonder about him he would have still caught her by surprise. First of all he was handsome. Gorgeous even. He wasn't super tall, maybe on 5'10” or so and unlike William, who looked like he was a serious weightlifter, Nathaniel was all lean muscle. He was dressed impeccably in slacks and a nice pullover sweater of obviously expensive quality. With his strong, clean shaven jaw and wavy dark blond hair that was just long enough to touch the top of his collar he looked like he just stepped out of the pages of a Neiman Marcus catalog.
But the most surprising thing of all was that he was young. Only about 20 or so. What is Allison thinking, she thought desperately, I can't pretend to date him - I'll be 30 this summer. I'll look like a child molester.
Marie settled down deeper into the couch cushions and tried to ignore Spencer's knowing smirk and tried to do what she did best - avoid thinking about the situation at all. But the more she tried to not think about him the more she did. There was a wicked part of her, the part of her that she had been fighting her entire life, that was looking forward to this. What's the big deal, it said, you like young men and this is the perfect excuse to indulge...Marie clenched her teeth and tried to banish the traitorous thoughts.
She had just about blocked out this painful situation when she heard foot steps on the stairs. Her heart began racing and she truly started to panic. The sensible part of her screamed for her to leave right then, wait in the car, start walking home, anything. But the nasty part of her rejoiced at being able to see him again, she couldn't wait to start the ball rolling.
Allison entered the room first, beaming with joy. Happiness seemed to be leaking from every pore. Nathaniel followed looking more grim. From the way he avoided looking at her, Marie could tell that he knew. And he did not seem happy about it. Good Marie cheered! Maybe he would be unwilling to go through with it and she would be off the hook. Bad Marie pouted. Yet another Marie, a very insecure one said bitterly, of course he's not happy - who'd want to get saddled with an old hag like you.
Marie's internal conversation was interrupted by Allison inviting everyone to stay for dinner. Marie opened her mouth to decline but Spencer piped up and said, “Dinner would be great!”
Marie glared at her traitorous friend but before she could protest Erma spoke up and making an apology said that she had to get going. Marie almost jumped at the opportunity to leave and ask her for a ride but Erma brought to many painful memories to Marie's mind. She decided to take her chances and look for another way to escape.
After Erma left Spencer and Marie followed William into the dining room while Alison and Nathaniel went to the kitchen to start preparing the meal. Allison tried to get Nathaniel to stay behind but he insisted. Marie had to quash Insecure Marie before she could feel rejected. After admiring the beautiful formal dining room Kimberly asked William if there was a phone she could use to check on her children. He took her to one.
Now Marie was left alone with Spencer and suddenly being trapped in a car with Erma Roadelle and the painful memories she invoked seemed far preferable to the grilling she sensed she was about to receive. And sure enough, as soon as William and Kim disappeared down the hall she pounced gleefully.
“So what do you think? I think he absolutely yummy looking. Damn Marie you have all the luck!”
“Don't be a bitch Spencer. I'd rather have Jack and the kids any day over that - “
“Calm down Marie, we not going to have a pity party right now - jeez. I just mean the he is incredibly handsome, even you have to admit that.”
“Yes he's handsome and yummy but c'mon he looks like he's barely out of his teens. I am definately too old for him. And you were obviously too busy drooling over him to notice that he obviously is not interested in me. He couldn't get out of the room fast enough. Thank God.”
“You are so twisted, Mar. Only you would thank God for something like that.”
Before they could continue their argument Will and Kim came back.
“I'm really sorry guys,”said Kim, “but I got to go. Gus's asthma is acting up I'm worried.”
“Oh no Kim,” exclaimed Spencer, hot guys forgotten in her worry, “Is everything all right?'
“Yah he's fine. Peggy gave him his nebulizer treatment. I just want to go check on him.”
Marie was worried about little Gus too but more than worried she felt relieved. Unfortunately that relief was short lived because Allison reentered the room at that moment and spoiled everything.
“I heard about you sick boy. I'm so sorry.”
“Thank you Allison, he's fine I'd just feel better if I was home.”
“Of course, I noticed Erma left do you need a ride home?”
“No thanks, Spencer lives by me. She's going to take me home.”
“How nice of her,” Allison commented, then she turned to Marie and said, “Well it looks like it just us for dinner.”
“Oh no Allison actually I'm leaving with them.”
“Nonsense. I'm sure Kimberly is going to be in a rush to get home.”
“Really I think a quick trip into Ramona won't really-”
“Oh you live in Ramona - how convenient so does Nathaniel. He can drive you home, besides he's has already planned to stay and get to know you better. He's looking forward to it.
Yah right, thought Marie.
Knowing it was futile Marie looked to Spencer for help but she had already grabbed her purse and was hustling Kim out of the dining room and down the hall. She barely looked behind her as she told Marie goodbye and said that she'd call her in the morning.
Great, she thought, now I'm stuck here with the psycho chick and her jail bait brother.
Dinner past in a blur of mumbled pleasantries and suppressed panic attacks. She couldn't remember what she ate or what was said. She was simultaneous oblivious to her surrounds and pianfully aware of Nathaniel ignoring her. Allison was blind to any discomfort her brother or guest felt and chatter on a mile a minute. William was also strangely silent.
But as horrible as the dinner was a greater ordeal awaited her and before she knew it she was packed in Nathaniel's expensive sports sedan and pulling away from the Ryker residence.
They drove in silence for awhile. Nathaniel navigated the twisty mounitan roads with a focus and intent that made Spencer's erratic driving seem criminally negligent in comparison. But as they merged onto the 78 just south of Julian and headed down the mountain. His careful driving seemed less necessary than a way to avoid her.
Fine with me she thought just get he home and I can forget I ever met any of you. He's obviously NOT going to go through with Allison's stupid plan. But like most things in her life the respite from the crazy plan was short lived. As they approached Santa Isabel (which was still 30 minutes away from the safety of her home in Ramona) Nathaniel finally spoke.
“I want to apologize for my sister. When she gets like this she doesn't think about how her little schemes affect those around her. You probably think she's completely insane.”
“No not completely insane,” said Marie but when she saw Nathaniel's barely suppressed grin she added, “well yah I guess I do think she's completely insane. But that's ok. I'm sure she'll forget all about it soon.”
“No, not Allison. She's going push this through to the bitter end.”
“But you don't mean we're going to actually try her crazy scheme.”
“Of course we are. What did you think?”
“Well I thought, I mean the way you avoided me during dinner...”
“Oh that,” Nathaniel said looking away, “I'm sorry if I offended you. I was still fuming about our conversation and didn't want Al to think she could get her way so easily. She's always been such a spoiled brat.”
“I see. I thought you didn't want to go through with it, after you met me I mean.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Well because I am so much older than you and not as...good looking.” Marie managed to catch herself before she said gorgeous.
She was startled out of her embarrassment by Nathaniel's amused chuckle.
“I'm older than I look Marie,” he said and then he looked at her closely for a moment before adding, “and as for the other thing, don't ever doubt that you're good looking enough for me.”
Marie blushed at his sudden scrutiny and looked out the window. He chuckled again at her discomfort. But before the silence could become heavy again she turned to Nathaniel and asked,
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you doing this?”
“Because I love her.”
“That's all? I mean it seems like a pretty big thing you are doing for her. I mean I love my sisters but I'd tell them now way if they asked me to do something half as weird.”
“I bet,” he laughed again but then her got serious again and added, “It's hard to explain my relationship with my sister but I am committed to her and her happiness, no matter what. Even if she 's the one who should be committed”
“You got that right.”
“How about you?”
“What about me?”
“Why are you doing this.”
“I don't really know. I miss my children and I want to give the joy of being a parent to someone else. And Kim needs the money and she'll get it easy if I do this. And...”
“And what?”
“And I don't have anything better to do,” she laughed.
Nathan laughed with her for a bit but when it got quiet again he reapproached the serious topics.”
“What bothers you the most about this situation?”
“Dating you.”
“Gee thanks. Don't let me cramp your style.”
“I don't mean it like that. I mean you're handsome and all that. It's just that I miss my husband and I don't want people to think...”
“Do you really care that much what people think?”
“Sometimes I do. I don't really know how to feel about all this. I guess I just need some time to let it sink in.”
“Is that all that's bothering you?”
“Well no.”
Nathan looked at her expectantly until she added.
“It bothers me that you're so young.
Nathan laughed again and said, “I told you I'm not as young as I look. Even Allison is a lot older than you think she is I bet. William too. How old do you think I am?”
“20.”
“Damn I really look that young to you? I'm flattered, I think. I'm closer to 30 trust me.”
“You're such a liar. There is no way you can be almost 30. I'll be 30 next summer and I have gray hair already.”
“I noticed those. They're kinda cute actually. Definitely more silver than gray.”
Marie snorted at this. He was obviously messing with her.
“What bothers you the most?”
Nathaniel was silent for so long after she asked that she almost repeated the question thinking he might not have heard her.
“I'm afraid that I won't be able to protect you.”
“Protect me from what?”
“Getting hurt.”
“Well you're the only one worried about that. I could care less.”
“You have no idea what your saying. This could get dangerous.”
“What, I could die?”
“Yes!”
Marie shrugged. What did she care if she died. She had nothing to live for.
“I see that look on your face - the 'I don't care if I die I'll be glad to see my dead family martyr' look. Well don't get your hopes up because I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Understand?”
“I understand.”
“Good.”
They descend into and uncomfortable silence that held until the entered Ramona. Marie gave him directions to her house and soon they were pulling into her driveway. They sat awkwardly in the car until she got brave enough to speak again.
“So what do we do now?”
“I guess we should exchange info. I'll call you later and then I guess we'll go out. Get to know each other.”
“Sure, I guess.”
As they exchanged phone numbers and email addresses Marie laughed.
“What's so funny?”
“We're doing this all backwards. Deciding to have the baby usually comes after the phone number exchange.”
“Yah, we should have our first date before also.”
“This wasn't our first date?”
“Hardly. You'll know when we have a real date. Trust me.”
“Ok, I'll hold you to that.”
“Fine, you do that.”
“Well I guess this is bye until later.”
“Yah, later.”
But Marie was finding it hard to leave the car. It took a minute to realize why. She was feeling funny. She was ...happy. He made her happy and she was flirting. Suddenly she felt consumed with guilt and then she couldn't get out of the car fast enough. Without another word to Nathaniel she was out the door and hurrying towards her door, fumbling her keys out of her pocket.
“Marie wait,” called Nathaniel as he rushed after her, “what' wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Don't say nothing - it's obvious something is wrong.”
“Don't worry about it Nathaniel. I'm not getting cold feet. I just need some time alone, ok? This is hard for me.”
“Oh, ok, I'm sorry. I'll call you later.”
“Sure,” she said as she got her door open and retreated inside, “Whatever.”
“Bye,” he called after the closing door.
“Bye,” came her muffled reply.
Marie stood in her entryway, back pressed against her front door, trembling.
She surveyed the home that once filled her with joy and happiness but now felt like it was closing around her like a tomb. As the memories of her lost family assaulted her and compounded the until then minor guilt she'd felt at her stolen moment of happiness with Nathaniel, Marie collapsed in tears and lamented what she'd committed her self to.
“Oh my God,” she wailed collapsing into tears, “What was I thinking!”
Heedless of the cold air seeping in below the door she curled up into a ball and cried herself to sleep.