i cant do this
its like...what did i do to deserve to feel this way. like what is god trying to tell me or teach me or whatever. i dont wake up wanting to feel like this. im just so sick of it. i want to ignore it but it jusdt doesnt go away. and then i ate today and just could not throw up. i gagged til it made me sick just fuck it all. im bringing everyone down but dammit dont fucking want to feel this way!!!!!! i just wanna feel normal...happy...fucjk. its not fair. and why is it hitting me so bad now that i have what i always wanted. my kids my bf///i love them and all im doing is making them miserable with my fucking d e p r e s s i o n. its bad. go away. todays the only day when i really wouodnt mind if i fell asleep and never woke up and i really hate saying that cuz i dont want to die but geez i also dont want to live sometimes. hiding in the bathroom crying and thinking is getting old but i dont want to cry in front of anyone im just so fucked up in the fucking head. and i just want him to...i dunno. i wanna be his everything but i dont feel good enough especially physically. why i dunno. im nothing compared to her not at all what he likes blah blah blah sorry i cant help it i wish u didnt have to see me like this wish no one did cry cry cry sorry