first fic of 2010!
title: Did You Hear About The Morgans?
pairing: Bradley/Colin
words: 1806
rating: PG
note: big thanks to anony_mouse19 for pointing out the marvellous misprint that was made in Gay Times (article here). If you can't be bothered to read it, the mistake is basically Bradley MORGAN, which is BRILLIANT. First fic of 2010, hooray!
Did You Hear About The Morgans?
Colin is enjoying a strawberries and cream frappuccino along with Bradley's latest celebrity impression in Starbucks when his mobile rings and John Farnham's You're the Voice fills the air, grabbing the attention of many onlookers. It's not a common ringtone and it earns a grin from Bradley whilst he sips his coffee.
"Aaw, Colin, it's our song," teases Bradley, and Colin blushes. He knew it was a mistake to change his ringtone to that tune.
Under normal circumstances Colin would just ignore the phone call (if there's one thing he can't stand, it's people who take calls in the middle of a conversation. He finds it rather rude.) Even though he knows Bradley wouldn't mind if he answered, he doesn't want to because he hasn't seen Bradley in ages, not since the Arthurian road trip which was days ago, and no one is interrupting his alone time with Bradley. No one...
No one except his mother who, by a glance at his mobile, he discovers is the person who is ringing him right this moment. He knows she'll be worried if he doesn't pick up. She'll keep on calling until he answers.
"It's my mum," Colin tells Bradley, who's been lip-syncing theatrically to the song for the past ten seconds. "Do you mind if I take it?"
"Of course not." Bradley gets out his own mobile so it'll look like he's playing with it and not listening intently to Colin's conversation on the phone, which is what he'll actually be doing.
Colin presses accept and puts his phone to ear. "Hi mum."
"Colin Morgan!"
Not a happy mummy, then.
"Mum?" Colin responds in a high-pitched voice of fear. Bradley sniggers at him.
"You and Bradley got married?!"
His mother's voice is so loud down the phone Bradley hears his name and looks up from his mobile curiously. Colin catches his gaze and sends him a look that says: my mother has gone mental.
"Mum - what?"
"It's in the Gay Times!"
"What - mum, why were you reading Gay Times?"
Bradley catches the word "gay" and chokes on his coffee. Colin shoots him an odd look.
"Your brother bought it," explains Colin's mother.
Well, that's all kinds of interesting, Colin thinks.
"Why was Neil reading Gay Times?"
"That is a conversation I'll be having with him later. You, young man, have some explaining to do."
Colin can't tell whether his mother's annoyance is a result of him "marrying" Bradley, or "marrying" Bradley without inviting her to the wedding that never happened.
"Tell me exactly what the article said," Colin tries to get to the bottom of his alleged marriage.
"It said, Bradley Morgan."
Well, that's all kinds of hilarious, Colin thinks. There's only one explanation for Bradley Morgan, as far as Colin is concerned. How his mother came to her assumption is beyond him... or maybe it isn't, but the idea of marrying Bradley one day is nothing but a flight of fancy to him.
"It's a misprint, mum." There's a moment of silence down the phone and he reckons he's struck her speechless. That, or she's dead. "Mum, are you there?"
"Yes," she answers eventually, sounding almost... sad. Colin groans at her.
"Please tell me you're not disappointed."
"But he's such a dreamboat!"
"He is not a dreamboat," Colin makes one thing clear. "He is a menace to society."
"Oi," Bradley interrupts, pouting at Colin from across the table. "You talking about me again?"
"No," Colin replies far too quickly for it to be truth. "Mum, I'm with Bradley--"
"So you are an item!"
"--at Starbucks. I'm with Bradley at Starbucks."
"Oh." The sad voice again.
"I'll call you back later, all right? I love you, bye." Colin hangs up before his mother can argue.
Bradley isn't even going to try pretending he wasn't eavesdropping on every word of Colin's conversation with his mother, who has high hopes and aspirations for him, like marrying Bradley "Dreamboat" James.
"What the hell was all that about?" asks Bradley.
"I'll tell you later," Colin says. "Finish your coffee. We're going to a newsagent's."
***
Bradley thinks Colin just wants to buy a newspaper, which is why he's so shocked when Colin grabs the latest copy of Gay Times.
"Er, Colin," Bradley says awkwardly as Colin pays for the magazine. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
Well, he might as well finally come out of the closet to Bradley. It seems like the right moment, what with a gay magazine in his hand. He might not get an opportunity like this again. Colin thinks his sexuality is pretty obvious. Then again, so is the fact that Merlin is a sorcerer, but Arthur the Thicko still hasn't figured that one out yet.
"Yes, I am gay. Thanks for asking." And Colin makes a dramatic exit out of the shop.
Bradley stares after him, dumbfounded.
***
Bradley catches up with Colin sitting on a bench outside the newsagent's flipping through the gay magazine, searching for the article his mother mentioned on the phone.
"Since when?" asks Bradley, sitting beside Colin.
"Since a while - but never mind that," Colin says, immersed in his magazine.
"Never mind that?" Bradley can't believe his own ears. He also can't believe his own eyes: Colin is paying more attention to gay porn than to him. "Colin, will you stop bloody looking at naked men for one second!"
"I'm not." Well, maybe he was a little. "My mum found an interview with us in this magazine with an interesting misprint."
"Oh." Bradley puts the subject of Colin's sexual orientation to one side for a moment. "When were we interviewed by Gay Times?"
"Do you remember that guy who came on set one day wanting to talk about the 'blatant homoeroticism of the show', but we weren't allowed to comment?"
Now Bradley remembers. "Sounds like every other journalist to me."
Eventually Colin finds the right page of the magazine, hands it over to Bradley and says, "Read that."
Colin watches Bradley's face for a reaction while his co-star reads the article. After a minute, Bradley cringes.
"I can't believe they put in the bit about me doing the Thriller dance. Merlin fans will think I'm a loser."
Colin hates to break it to Bradley, but... "They already do." Either Bradley is choosing to ignore the error, or he hasn't noticed it. "Aren't you going to say anything about the mistake?"
Bradley looks confused. "What mistake?"
"Bradley," Colin says slowly. "Your name is not Bradley Morgan."
"Yes it is - wait, no it's not." Bradley looks at the article again, spotting the misprint almost straight away. Why hadn't he noticed it before? "So your mum on the phone... She thought we'd eloped."
Colin reddens. "Pretty much." He wishes the ground would swallow him up right about now. "She's got an over-active imagination..."
Bradley looks deep in thought for a second. "I guess I didn't notice the misprint because..."
"You're not very observant?"
"No." Bradley rolls up the magazine and swats Colin with it. "Because Bradley Morgan sounds so... good."
Colin's eyes go wide. "You think it sounds good?"
"You don't?" Bradley says, looking hurt for a second.
"No," Colin says quietly. "I do."
Bradley tries to keep a straight face, but he can't not laugh at what Colin said. "You just sounded like a perfect bride."
"If you've taken my surname, wouldn't that make you the bride, Morgan?" Colin smirks. He has a point. Nevertheless, Bradley just shakes his head at him.
"You calling me Morgan doesn't sound nearly as good as when I call you Morgan, Morgan," Bradley says smugly, and Colin would never admit it out loud, but Bradley's right. The way Bradley says Morgan or Col or even Professor Morgan makes Colin shiver. Speaking of which...
"Col." Colin shivers delightedly. "Why didn't you tell me you were gay sooner?"
So Bradley hadn't forgotten about Colin's sexual preference after all... Colin sighs and hides his face in his hands. "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable..."
"Uncomfortable? It would have made me more comfortable."
Well, Colin didn't understand a word Bradley just said. "What?"
There are moments when Bradley and Colin speak almost telepathically to each other. Bradley will stare at Colin, or Colin will stare at Bradley, and they'll have an entire conversation with one look. So when Bradley looks at Colin, really looks at him, Colin knows.
"You're gay, too," Colin says, and Bradley nods. All this time Colin assumed from Bradley's good looks that he was a ladies man, which is silly because after all the time they've spent together he's only ever seen Bradley intimate with one woman, and that was Angel, and Bradley wasn't even Bradley then, he was Arthur.
"You're gay since... when?"
"Since..." Bradley bites his lip thoughtfully. "Since I met you."
"Oh." Colin leans back against the bench, his shoulder touching Bradley's. "Maybe you're not gay, maybe you're..."
"Colinsexual."
Bradley slides Colin a grin, and Colin bites his lips to prevent laughing.
"That word you just invented sounds about as good as Bradley Morgan does," Colin mutters.
"Perfect, then," Bradley says with a soft smile, and Colin can feel himself melt into a puddle of sticky goo. He wonders about how much sex they could have had on their road trip around Wales if Bradley had known he was gay and he'd known Bradley was Colinsexual. It would have been a much better trip if sex had been involved, for both him, Bradley and the viewers at home. He wouldn't have been nearly so upset about missing their appointment at the library if he'd known Bradley would shag him back at the hotel room. But there'll be other road trips. He wants to explore more of Wales with Bradley - well, that's not exactly true, he'd rather explore Bradley's body -
He's interrupted mid-thought by Bradley sweeping forward and kissing him, and it's not the most romantic setting for their first kiss, outside a newsagent's on a grubby bench where there's a faint smell of pee and a tramp is staring at them from across the road, but it still feels romantic in a weird way, in their own weird little world where they film themselves lip-syncing the same song over and over and that's normal; where Colin is asleep and Bradley tells a joke and Colin wakes up to laugh and that's normal; where Colin plays footsie with Bradley on live television and that's normal. It's normal to them. It's what makes them them. Bradley and Colin. Colin and Bradley. The Morgans.
They pull away and Colin looks at Bradley like he's going to say something mushy and meaningful, but all that comes out is, "I think I sat in gum," and Bradley laughs, calls Colin a loser and kisses him, over and over.
pairing: Bradley/Colin
words: 1806
rating: PG
note: big thanks to anony_mouse19 for pointing out the marvellous misprint that was made in Gay Times (article here). If you can't be bothered to read it, the mistake is basically Bradley MORGAN, which is BRILLIANT. First fic of 2010, hooray!
Did You Hear About The Morgans?
Colin is enjoying a strawberries and cream frappuccino along with Bradley's latest celebrity impression in Starbucks when his mobile rings and John Farnham's You're the Voice fills the air, grabbing the attention of many onlookers. It's not a common ringtone and it earns a grin from Bradley whilst he sips his coffee.
"Aaw, Colin, it's our song," teases Bradley, and Colin blushes. He knew it was a mistake to change his ringtone to that tune.
Under normal circumstances Colin would just ignore the phone call (if there's one thing he can't stand, it's people who take calls in the middle of a conversation. He finds it rather rude.) Even though he knows Bradley wouldn't mind if he answered, he doesn't want to because he hasn't seen Bradley in ages, not since the Arthurian road trip which was days ago, and no one is interrupting his alone time with Bradley. No one...
No one except his mother who, by a glance at his mobile, he discovers is the person who is ringing him right this moment. He knows she'll be worried if he doesn't pick up. She'll keep on calling until he answers.
"It's my mum," Colin tells Bradley, who's been lip-syncing theatrically to the song for the past ten seconds. "Do you mind if I take it?"
"Of course not." Bradley gets out his own mobile so it'll look like he's playing with it and not listening intently to Colin's conversation on the phone, which is what he'll actually be doing.
Colin presses accept and puts his phone to ear. "Hi mum."
"Colin Morgan!"
Not a happy mummy, then.
"Mum?" Colin responds in a high-pitched voice of fear. Bradley sniggers at him.
"You and Bradley got married?!"
His mother's voice is so loud down the phone Bradley hears his name and looks up from his mobile curiously. Colin catches his gaze and sends him a look that says: my mother has gone mental.
"Mum - what?"
"It's in the Gay Times!"
"What - mum, why were you reading Gay Times?"
Bradley catches the word "gay" and chokes on his coffee. Colin shoots him an odd look.
"Your brother bought it," explains Colin's mother.
Well, that's all kinds of interesting, Colin thinks.
"Why was Neil reading Gay Times?"
"That is a conversation I'll be having with him later. You, young man, have some explaining to do."
Colin can't tell whether his mother's annoyance is a result of him "marrying" Bradley, or "marrying" Bradley without inviting her to the wedding that never happened.
"Tell me exactly what the article said," Colin tries to get to the bottom of his alleged marriage.
"It said, Bradley Morgan."
Well, that's all kinds of hilarious, Colin thinks. There's only one explanation for Bradley Morgan, as far as Colin is concerned. How his mother came to her assumption is beyond him... or maybe it isn't, but the idea of marrying Bradley one day is nothing but a flight of fancy to him.
"It's a misprint, mum." There's a moment of silence down the phone and he reckons he's struck her speechless. That, or she's dead. "Mum, are you there?"
"Yes," she answers eventually, sounding almost... sad. Colin groans at her.
"Please tell me you're not disappointed."
"But he's such a dreamboat!"
"He is not a dreamboat," Colin makes one thing clear. "He is a menace to society."
"Oi," Bradley interrupts, pouting at Colin from across the table. "You talking about me again?"
"No," Colin replies far too quickly for it to be truth. "Mum, I'm with Bradley--"
"So you are an item!"
"--at Starbucks. I'm with Bradley at Starbucks."
"Oh." The sad voice again.
"I'll call you back later, all right? I love you, bye." Colin hangs up before his mother can argue.
Bradley isn't even going to try pretending he wasn't eavesdropping on every word of Colin's conversation with his mother, who has high hopes and aspirations for him, like marrying Bradley "Dreamboat" James.
"What the hell was all that about?" asks Bradley.
"I'll tell you later," Colin says. "Finish your coffee. We're going to a newsagent's."
***
Bradley thinks Colin just wants to buy a newspaper, which is why he's so shocked when Colin grabs the latest copy of Gay Times.
"Er, Colin," Bradley says awkwardly as Colin pays for the magazine. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
Well, he might as well finally come out of the closet to Bradley. It seems like the right moment, what with a gay magazine in his hand. He might not get an opportunity like this again. Colin thinks his sexuality is pretty obvious. Then again, so is the fact that Merlin is a sorcerer, but Arthur the Thicko still hasn't figured that one out yet.
"Yes, I am gay. Thanks for asking." And Colin makes a dramatic exit out of the shop.
Bradley stares after him, dumbfounded.
***
Bradley catches up with Colin sitting on a bench outside the newsagent's flipping through the gay magazine, searching for the article his mother mentioned on the phone.
"Since when?" asks Bradley, sitting beside Colin.
"Since a while - but never mind that," Colin says, immersed in his magazine.
"Never mind that?" Bradley can't believe his own ears. He also can't believe his own eyes: Colin is paying more attention to gay porn than to him. "Colin, will you stop bloody looking at naked men for one second!"
"I'm not." Well, maybe he was a little. "My mum found an interview with us in this magazine with an interesting misprint."
"Oh." Bradley puts the subject of Colin's sexual orientation to one side for a moment. "When were we interviewed by Gay Times?"
"Do you remember that guy who came on set one day wanting to talk about the 'blatant homoeroticism of the show', but we weren't allowed to comment?"
Now Bradley remembers. "Sounds like every other journalist to me."
Eventually Colin finds the right page of the magazine, hands it over to Bradley and says, "Read that."
Colin watches Bradley's face for a reaction while his co-star reads the article. After a minute, Bradley cringes.
"I can't believe they put in the bit about me doing the Thriller dance. Merlin fans will think I'm a loser."
Colin hates to break it to Bradley, but... "They already do." Either Bradley is choosing to ignore the error, or he hasn't noticed it. "Aren't you going to say anything about the mistake?"
Bradley looks confused. "What mistake?"
"Bradley," Colin says slowly. "Your name is not Bradley Morgan."
"Yes it is - wait, no it's not." Bradley looks at the article again, spotting the misprint almost straight away. Why hadn't he noticed it before? "So your mum on the phone... She thought we'd eloped."
Colin reddens. "Pretty much." He wishes the ground would swallow him up right about now. "She's got an over-active imagination..."
Bradley looks deep in thought for a second. "I guess I didn't notice the misprint because..."
"You're not very observant?"
"No." Bradley rolls up the magazine and swats Colin with it. "Because Bradley Morgan sounds so... good."
Colin's eyes go wide. "You think it sounds good?"
"You don't?" Bradley says, looking hurt for a second.
"No," Colin says quietly. "I do."
Bradley tries to keep a straight face, but he can't not laugh at what Colin said. "You just sounded like a perfect bride."
"If you've taken my surname, wouldn't that make you the bride, Morgan?" Colin smirks. He has a point. Nevertheless, Bradley just shakes his head at him.
"You calling me Morgan doesn't sound nearly as good as when I call you Morgan, Morgan," Bradley says smugly, and Colin would never admit it out loud, but Bradley's right. The way Bradley says Morgan or Col or even Professor Morgan makes Colin shiver. Speaking of which...
"Col." Colin shivers delightedly. "Why didn't you tell me you were gay sooner?"
So Bradley hadn't forgotten about Colin's sexual preference after all... Colin sighs and hides his face in his hands. "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable..."
"Uncomfortable? It would have made me more comfortable."
Well, Colin didn't understand a word Bradley just said. "What?"
There are moments when Bradley and Colin speak almost telepathically to each other. Bradley will stare at Colin, or Colin will stare at Bradley, and they'll have an entire conversation with one look. So when Bradley looks at Colin, really looks at him, Colin knows.
"You're gay, too," Colin says, and Bradley nods. All this time Colin assumed from Bradley's good looks that he was a ladies man, which is silly because after all the time they've spent together he's only ever seen Bradley intimate with one woman, and that was Angel, and Bradley wasn't even Bradley then, he was Arthur.
"You're gay since... when?"
"Since..." Bradley bites his lip thoughtfully. "Since I met you."
"Oh." Colin leans back against the bench, his shoulder touching Bradley's. "Maybe you're not gay, maybe you're..."
"Colinsexual."
Bradley slides Colin a grin, and Colin bites his lips to prevent laughing.
"That word you just invented sounds about as good as Bradley Morgan does," Colin mutters.
"Perfect, then," Bradley says with a soft smile, and Colin can feel himself melt into a puddle of sticky goo. He wonders about how much sex they could have had on their road trip around Wales if Bradley had known he was gay and he'd known Bradley was Colinsexual. It would have been a much better trip if sex had been involved, for both him, Bradley and the viewers at home. He wouldn't have been nearly so upset about missing their appointment at the library if he'd known Bradley would shag him back at the hotel room. But there'll be other road trips. He wants to explore more of Wales with Bradley - well, that's not exactly true, he'd rather explore Bradley's body -
He's interrupted mid-thought by Bradley sweeping forward and kissing him, and it's not the most romantic setting for their first kiss, outside a newsagent's on a grubby bench where there's a faint smell of pee and a tramp is staring at them from across the road, but it still feels romantic in a weird way, in their own weird little world where they film themselves lip-syncing the same song over and over and that's normal; where Colin is asleep and Bradley tells a joke and Colin wakes up to laugh and that's normal; where Colin plays footsie with Bradley on live television and that's normal. It's normal to them. It's what makes them them. Bradley and Colin. Colin and Bradley. The Morgans.
They pull away and Colin looks at Bradley like he's going to say something mushy and meaningful, but all that comes out is, "I think I sat in gum," and Bradley laughs, calls Colin a loser and kisses him, over and over.