I should not be writing fic right now D:
title: Money well spent
pairing: Bradley/Colin
words: 1779
rating: PG
summary: Bradley buys Merlin's scarf on eBay. Simple as. :)
Many thanks to feilongfan for the plotbunny!
Money Well Spent
When Bradley learns that Merlin's scarf is being auctioned off for Children in Need, his first thought is:
Mine.
Bradley figures if he can't have Colin (it's not that he can't have Colin, it's that he doesn't know he can), then owning Merlin's scarf is the next best thing...
Except it's not the next best thing. It's not even the third best thing. He can't cuddle the scarf like it's Colin - well, he could, but that would be weird. He can't snog the scarf like it's Colin - well, he could, but that would be really weird.
It only occurs until after Bradley has won the scarf on eBay that he could have stolen one of Merlin's scarves from the costume department for free. In fact, if he'd asked nicely they would have let him keep one, but he would have had to explain why he wanted one of Merlin's accessories and not Arthur's, the reason being: Bradley is in love with Colin, not himself.
Well, they do say love makes you do strange things, Bradley remembers Colin saying in character.
Bradley has just spent hundreds of pounds on a scarf he's not even going to wear.
It's not the stupidest thing he's ever done, but it's definitely up there.
***
Bradley has a busy week, and as a result forgets about his eBay purchase - until he gets his bank statement in the post, followed by the scarf and a certificate.
Frankly, the certificate is just written proof of what an idiot he is, and he can't stand looking at it or the neckwear without his palm meeting his face, so he goes into the kitchen and shoves the scarf and certificate of ownership (also known as a certificate of idiocy) into the nearest drawer out of sight.
Not without stroking the scarf and burying his face in it first.
Bradley takes the word 'shameful' to a new, alarming level.
***
The following evening Bradley invites Colin around his flat for dinner. It's not an unusual occurrence; they've been spending a lot of time together outside filming. The plan was for Bradley to cook for Colin, but he gets too comfy on the sofa and they end up ordering a takeaway instead.
Bradley is settled in front of the television, moments from digging into his Chinese, when he realizes he forgot to grab some cutlery before he sat down.
"Col," Bradley says with a pleading-puppy look. "Will you fetch some knives and forks?"
Colin rolls his eyes. "Some host you are," he gripes, but he doesn't mind really. He likes doing stuff for Bradley, and he's been to his flat enough times to know where the cutlery is kept. Eager to eat, Colin dashes out of the room, leaving Bradley to twiddle his thumbs.
When Colin is longer than two minutes, Bradley wonders if he actually managed to get lost in his little flat - that, or he's having trouble identifying what a knife and fork is. Sighing, Bradley goes and investigates.
"Morgan," Bradley calls out as he enters the kitchen. "Food's getting cold."
Bradley comes up behind Colin standing over an open drawer. Something has clearly grabbed Colin's attention, so Bradley peeks over his shoulder to see what it is.
And there, sitting amongst the knives, forks and sporks, is Merlin's burgundy scarf.
"Oh shit," Bradley says as Colin picks up the scarf, smiling like he's been reunited with an old friend. Colin looks at Bradley with a mixture of surprise and confusion.
"How did you get this?" asks Colin softly. And then he spies the certificate.
Not the certificate! Bradley turns bright red. "I can explain."
Colin starts to grin. "I'm all ears."
"I wanted to do something for charity, all right, and it was either buy the scarf or shave off the beard, and I'm not ready to part with this fella yet."
And by 'fella' Bradley means his newfangled beard, not some secret boyfriend he's been hiding. Colin stares at Bradley dubiously, like he knows Bradley is lying, and then reaches out and rubs the hairs on Bradley's chin.
"Neither am I, Bradley," Colin murmurs.
Bradley starts babbling because Colin's fingers are soft against his face and oh wow, that feels good. "Doctor Who's bed was up for auction, but it was out of my price range."
"So you went for the cheaper option."
Bradley nods. "That, and I don't give a shit about Doctor Who." He pauses. "I give a shit about you."
Colin chokes on a laugh. "Eloquent."
"Shut up," Bradley moans. "You know what I mean."
"Do I know that you spending hundreds of pounds buying the scarf of the character I play on a television drama means you give a shit about me?" Colin asks aloud. "Well, I do now, don't I."
Bradley cringes. "You hate me, don't you."
Now Bradley is just being ridiculous. "Yes, Bradley," Colin deadpans. "This is an unforgivable betrayal. Clearly you're working for Satan. I despise you."
Bradley smiles slightly. "But you do think I'm weird."
"Bradley, I've always thought you were weird. We're both weird. We're on some weird weirdo wavelength... Try saying that ten times fast."
Of course, Colin is joking, but Bradley actually takes him seriously. "Weird weirdo wavelength, weird weirdo wavelength, weird waydo..."
Bradley is starting to give Colin a headache, but Colin thinks of the perfect thing to say to shut Bradley up...
"This scarf would make an excellent gag."
...that sounded a lot less kinky in Colin's head. But it worked - Bradley is silent, which is frankly uncommon. Apparently Bradley can't talk and think about doing dirty things to Colin in bed at the same time.
"Bradley," a blushing Colin startles him out of his reverie. "Will you do me the honour?"
Bradley stares at Colin confusedly. "Of accepting your hand in marriage?"
Colin snorts with laughter and hands Bradley the scarf. Now Bradley gets it - Colin wants Bradley to tie the scarf around his neck for him.
"C'mere, then," Bradley tells Colin, and Colin shuffles forwards. Tying the scarf takes Bradley twice as long as it should because he wants to stand almost breathtakingly close to Colin for as long possible, and Bradley's nervous, his hands are shaking, and he makes a mistake and has to start again.
After draping Merlin's scarf around Colin's neck enough times, Bradley finally manages to complete the simple task of fitting the scarf snugly around Colin's neck.
"There," Bradley says, admiring his handiwork; admiring his Colin.
"How do I look?"
Bradley looks at Colin like his legitimate question was a stupid one. "How you always look."
"And how do I always look?"
"Cute," Bradley says without hesitation.
Colin smiles bashfully. "You think I'm cute?"
"Always."
"I'd be a right idiot if I didn't kiss you right now, wouldn't I?"
"Yep. And if you so choose to be an idiot, I have this," Bradley takes the scarf's certificate out of the cutlery drawer, "document to prove it."
"Bradley, it has your name on it," Colin points out.
"Nothing a little biro can't fix."
Bradley gets as far as writing the letter 'C' over his name when Colin shoves him up against the fridge and ow, magnets are digging painfully into Bradley's back, but who cares because Colin is kissing him, and Bradley hates using the word magical ever since he started Merlin, but that's exactly what kissing Colin feels like.
Magical.
***
Did you know, Merlin's scarf is excellent for tying wrists to bedposts?
Well, you do now.
***
Here's the thing: Bradley's nosey. So when he goes for a "bathroom break" in Colin's flat, he's actually snooping around Colin's bedroom. Bradley finds a couple of things that make him smile, like on the bedside table, a row of photos of him and Colin from a photobooth in Parc Asterix, pulling silly and sillier faces. In Colin's wardrobe, every ticket from every film they've seen together, cherished and saved. Under Colin's bed...
Nothing could have prepared Bradley for what is under Colin's bed.
"In the words of Victor Meldrew," Bradley's mouth hangs open, "I don't believe it."
***
Bradley returns from "the bathroom" and joins Colin on the sofa in front of the television. He kisses the corner of Colin's mouth, puts an arm around Colin's shoulders and sits back with a smirk. Colin drags his gaze away from the television long enough to see Bradley looking smug. Colin's eyes narrow suspiciously.
"You're awfully chirpy," Colin says.
"I'm always chirpy," Bradley says happily. "I'm a chirpy kind of guy."
"Not when you haven't had coffee in the morning... You didn't have a wank in my loo, did you? I am right here, you know."
"No, Col," Bradley sets Colin's mind at ease. "Let's just watch telly, yeah?"
Colin nods and leans into Bradley's side, Bradley stroking the nape of Colin's neck, a comfortable silence settling over them... until Bradley ruins it.
"So. Been on eBay recently?"
Colin switches the television off and covers his face with his hands in embarrassment. "Oh shit."
"So while you've been teasing me about buying Merlin's scarf, you've been hiding Arthur's armour under your bed all this time."
"Which I'm sure you stumbled upon by accident," Colin says with a flash of annoyance. "I can explain."
"You can, can you."
"See I, like you, wanted to do something for charity, and it was either buy Arthur's armour or sponsor you not to be nosey for a week. And we both know how that would have turned out."
"Hey." Bradley pouts. "I didn't know explanations included making digs at your boyfriend."
Bradley blushes, because it's the first time the 'B' word has been used, and he doesn't know how Colin will react to it. Maybe Colin doesn't even want Bradley to be his boyfriend...
Colin sighs, climbs onto Bradley's lap and looks at him apologetically. "I'm sorry, boyfriend."
Bradley's pout quickly disappears and is replaced with a giant grin. "We're as bad as each other."
"Like I said, it's our weird weirdo wavelength," Colin brings up again.
"Weird weirdo wavelength, weird weirdo--"
"Sshhh," Colin hushes him, and kisses him soundly on the mouth.
"Mmm..."
"Bradley?"
"Mmm?"
"Did you bring Merlin's scarf?"
"Yeah - why?"
"I was thinking, I could wear the scarf and pretend to be Merlin - you could wear the armour and pretend to be Arthur..."
"That is wrong, Colin. That is really... really wrong - let's do it."
***
When Bradley looks at the sleeping form lying beside him, blissfully naked Colin, with his head on Bradley's chest, Colin's warm body pressed against his skin while Bradley strokes his skinny hips under the covers, his first thought is:
Mine.
pairing: Bradley/Colin
words: 1779
rating: PG
summary: Bradley buys Merlin's scarf on eBay. Simple as. :)
Many thanks to feilongfan for the plotbunny!
Money Well Spent
When Bradley learns that Merlin's scarf is being auctioned off for Children in Need, his first thought is:
Mine.
Bradley figures if he can't have Colin (it's not that he can't have Colin, it's that he doesn't know he can), then owning Merlin's scarf is the next best thing...
Except it's not the next best thing. It's not even the third best thing. He can't cuddle the scarf like it's Colin - well, he could, but that would be weird. He can't snog the scarf like it's Colin - well, he could, but that would be really weird.
It only occurs until after Bradley has won the scarf on eBay that he could have stolen one of Merlin's scarves from the costume department for free. In fact, if he'd asked nicely they would have let him keep one, but he would have had to explain why he wanted one of Merlin's accessories and not Arthur's, the reason being: Bradley is in love with Colin, not himself.
Well, they do say love makes you do strange things, Bradley remembers Colin saying in character.
Bradley has just spent hundreds of pounds on a scarf he's not even going to wear.
It's not the stupidest thing he's ever done, but it's definitely up there.
***
Bradley has a busy week, and as a result forgets about his eBay purchase - until he gets his bank statement in the post, followed by the scarf and a certificate.
Frankly, the certificate is just written proof of what an idiot he is, and he can't stand looking at it or the neckwear without his palm meeting his face, so he goes into the kitchen and shoves the scarf and certificate of ownership (also known as a certificate of idiocy) into the nearest drawer out of sight.
Not without stroking the scarf and burying his face in it first.
Bradley takes the word 'shameful' to a new, alarming level.
***
The following evening Bradley invites Colin around his flat for dinner. It's not an unusual occurrence; they've been spending a lot of time together outside filming. The plan was for Bradley to cook for Colin, but he gets too comfy on the sofa and they end up ordering a takeaway instead.
Bradley is settled in front of the television, moments from digging into his Chinese, when he realizes he forgot to grab some cutlery before he sat down.
"Col," Bradley says with a pleading-puppy look. "Will you fetch some knives and forks?"
Colin rolls his eyes. "Some host you are," he gripes, but he doesn't mind really. He likes doing stuff for Bradley, and he's been to his flat enough times to know where the cutlery is kept. Eager to eat, Colin dashes out of the room, leaving Bradley to twiddle his thumbs.
When Colin is longer than two minutes, Bradley wonders if he actually managed to get lost in his little flat - that, or he's having trouble identifying what a knife and fork is. Sighing, Bradley goes and investigates.
"Morgan," Bradley calls out as he enters the kitchen. "Food's getting cold."
Bradley comes up behind Colin standing over an open drawer. Something has clearly grabbed Colin's attention, so Bradley peeks over his shoulder to see what it is.
And there, sitting amongst the knives, forks and sporks, is Merlin's burgundy scarf.
"Oh shit," Bradley says as Colin picks up the scarf, smiling like he's been reunited with an old friend. Colin looks at Bradley with a mixture of surprise and confusion.
"How did you get this?" asks Colin softly. And then he spies the certificate.
Not the certificate! Bradley turns bright red. "I can explain."
Colin starts to grin. "I'm all ears."
"I wanted to do something for charity, all right, and it was either buy the scarf or shave off the beard, and I'm not ready to part with this fella yet."
And by 'fella' Bradley means his newfangled beard, not some secret boyfriend he's been hiding. Colin stares at Bradley dubiously, like he knows Bradley is lying, and then reaches out and rubs the hairs on Bradley's chin.
"Neither am I, Bradley," Colin murmurs.
Bradley starts babbling because Colin's fingers are soft against his face and oh wow, that feels good. "Doctor Who's bed was up for auction, but it was out of my price range."
"So you went for the cheaper option."
Bradley nods. "That, and I don't give a shit about Doctor Who." He pauses. "I give a shit about you."
Colin chokes on a laugh. "Eloquent."
"Shut up," Bradley moans. "You know what I mean."
"Do I know that you spending hundreds of pounds buying the scarf of the character I play on a television drama means you give a shit about me?" Colin asks aloud. "Well, I do now, don't I."
Bradley cringes. "You hate me, don't you."
Now Bradley is just being ridiculous. "Yes, Bradley," Colin deadpans. "This is an unforgivable betrayal. Clearly you're working for Satan. I despise you."
Bradley smiles slightly. "But you do think I'm weird."
"Bradley, I've always thought you were weird. We're both weird. We're on some weird weirdo wavelength... Try saying that ten times fast."
Of course, Colin is joking, but Bradley actually takes him seriously. "Weird weirdo wavelength, weird weirdo wavelength, weird waydo..."
Bradley is starting to give Colin a headache, but Colin thinks of the perfect thing to say to shut Bradley up...
"This scarf would make an excellent gag."
...that sounded a lot less kinky in Colin's head. But it worked - Bradley is silent, which is frankly uncommon. Apparently Bradley can't talk and think about doing dirty things to Colin in bed at the same time.
"Bradley," a blushing Colin startles him out of his reverie. "Will you do me the honour?"
Bradley stares at Colin confusedly. "Of accepting your hand in marriage?"
Colin snorts with laughter and hands Bradley the scarf. Now Bradley gets it - Colin wants Bradley to tie the scarf around his neck for him.
"C'mere, then," Bradley tells Colin, and Colin shuffles forwards. Tying the scarf takes Bradley twice as long as it should because he wants to stand almost breathtakingly close to Colin for as long possible, and Bradley's nervous, his hands are shaking, and he makes a mistake and has to start again.
After draping Merlin's scarf around Colin's neck enough times, Bradley finally manages to complete the simple task of fitting the scarf snugly around Colin's neck.
"There," Bradley says, admiring his handiwork; admiring his Colin.
"How do I look?"
Bradley looks at Colin like his legitimate question was a stupid one. "How you always look."
"And how do I always look?"
"Cute," Bradley says without hesitation.
Colin smiles bashfully. "You think I'm cute?"
"Always."
"I'd be a right idiot if I didn't kiss you right now, wouldn't I?"
"Yep. And if you so choose to be an idiot, I have this," Bradley takes the scarf's certificate out of the cutlery drawer, "document to prove it."
"Bradley, it has your name on it," Colin points out.
"Nothing a little biro can't fix."
Bradley gets as far as writing the letter 'C' over his name when Colin shoves him up against the fridge and ow, magnets are digging painfully into Bradley's back, but who cares because Colin is kissing him, and Bradley hates using the word magical ever since he started Merlin, but that's exactly what kissing Colin feels like.
Magical.
***
Did you know, Merlin's scarf is excellent for tying wrists to bedposts?
Well, you do now.
***
Here's the thing: Bradley's nosey. So when he goes for a "bathroom break" in Colin's flat, he's actually snooping around Colin's bedroom. Bradley finds a couple of things that make him smile, like on the bedside table, a row of photos of him and Colin from a photobooth in Parc Asterix, pulling silly and sillier faces. In Colin's wardrobe, every ticket from every film they've seen together, cherished and saved. Under Colin's bed...
Nothing could have prepared Bradley for what is under Colin's bed.
"In the words of Victor Meldrew," Bradley's mouth hangs open, "I don't believe it."
***
Bradley returns from "the bathroom" and joins Colin on the sofa in front of the television. He kisses the corner of Colin's mouth, puts an arm around Colin's shoulders and sits back with a smirk. Colin drags his gaze away from the television long enough to see Bradley looking smug. Colin's eyes narrow suspiciously.
"You're awfully chirpy," Colin says.
"I'm always chirpy," Bradley says happily. "I'm a chirpy kind of guy."
"Not when you haven't had coffee in the morning... You didn't have a wank in my loo, did you? I am right here, you know."
"No, Col," Bradley sets Colin's mind at ease. "Let's just watch telly, yeah?"
Colin nods and leans into Bradley's side, Bradley stroking the nape of Colin's neck, a comfortable silence settling over them... until Bradley ruins it.
"So. Been on eBay recently?"
Colin switches the television off and covers his face with his hands in embarrassment. "Oh shit."
"So while you've been teasing me about buying Merlin's scarf, you've been hiding Arthur's armour under your bed all this time."
"Which I'm sure you stumbled upon by accident," Colin says with a flash of annoyance. "I can explain."
"You can, can you."
"See I, like you, wanted to do something for charity, and it was either buy Arthur's armour or sponsor you not to be nosey for a week. And we both know how that would have turned out."
"Hey." Bradley pouts. "I didn't know explanations included making digs at your boyfriend."
Bradley blushes, because it's the first time the 'B' word has been used, and he doesn't know how Colin will react to it. Maybe Colin doesn't even want Bradley to be his boyfriend...
Colin sighs, climbs onto Bradley's lap and looks at him apologetically. "I'm sorry, boyfriend."
Bradley's pout quickly disappears and is replaced with a giant grin. "We're as bad as each other."
"Like I said, it's our weird weirdo wavelength," Colin brings up again.
"Weird weirdo wavelength, weird weirdo--"
"Sshhh," Colin hushes him, and kisses him soundly on the mouth.
"Mmm..."
"Bradley?"
"Mmm?"
"Did you bring Merlin's scarf?"
"Yeah - why?"
"I was thinking, I could wear the scarf and pretend to be Merlin - you could wear the armour and pretend to be Arthur..."
"That is wrong, Colin. That is really... really wrong - let's do it."
***
When Bradley looks at the sleeping form lying beside him, blissfully naked Colin, with his head on Bradley's chest, Colin's warm body pressed against his skin while Bradley strokes his skinny hips under the covers, his first thought is:
Mine.