fic: dog bites and love bites
title: Dog Bites and Love Bites
pairing: Bradley/Colin
words: 1719
rating: PG-13
note: I can't believe I've written Colin/Bradley before Arthur/Merlin (I'm in the middle of writing Merlin fic, but I needed to get this out of the way first). This is several kinds of embarrassing, hahah. On the Merlin commentary it was mentioned that Colin went to hospital after that dog in the "Valiant" episode bit him, and after I heard that I thought, 'I want to write that!' and ended up with this crack. It really shows how much I've repeatedly watched the Merlin cast video diaries on youtube. Feedback is really appreciated because I've never written RPF before.
Dog Bites and Love Bites
Bradley and Angel go fridge shopping because Bradley has had enough of not owning a fridge and he misses drinking milk and he doesn't care if Anthony says it's not good for him. Angel has to escort Bradley every time he goes shopping for anything in France ever since the incident where Bradley was "tricked" into buying a few grapes and strawberries for a whopping sixteen pounds. In the end Bradley hadn't even eaten that fruit because he'd forgotten about it, and when he did remember (thanks to a rotting smell coming from under his hotel bed), it had gone off because he didn't have a fridge and not having a fridge makes Bradley really angry, and when Bradley is really angry his face turns a rather unbecoming shade of red, so Bradley and Angel go fridge shopping.
Angel films Bradley whilst he sizes up fridges. He seems unimpressed by what's on offer.
"I don't think any of these fridges are up to my standard, Merlin fans," Bradley tells the video camera gravely.
"What's your ideal fridge, Bradley?" Angel asks, giggling. "Tell us, what do you look for in a fridge?"
Bradley rubs his chin thoughtfully. "Size. I want something big. Bigger than Beyonce's bottom."
"I think someone's overcompensating and wants to buy a really big fridge because they're lacking in another area."
Bradley takes one look at Angel and says, "Hussy."
Angel gasps behind the camera. "You're the one who's a hussy! A hussy for Colin."
"I am not a hussy for Colin," Bradley deadpans. "Colin is a hussy for me."
"You heard it here first, Merlin fans," Angel says, knowing this won't make the Merlin DVD extras.
All of a sudden, Bradley's mobile rings. He fishes it out of his jeans pocket and answers the call in a silly French accent, "Bonjour!"
Angel watches the colour drain from Bradley's face. His lips purse into a straight line as he turns away from the camera, listening carefully to the voice on the other end of the line. Then Bradley hangs up the call, his hand covers the camera lens, and Angel looks at him uneasily. "What's happened?"
"Colin's in hospital."
Angel is left staring open-mouthed after Bradley as he strides out of the shop and flags down a taxi. She switches off the camera and manages to catch up with him before he instructs the taxi driver to get them to the hospital, and to step on it.
The thing about Bradley is that he never shuts up.
He's quiet the entire taxi ride.
***
Colin hates dogs.
Well, he used to like them, until one decided to try and take a big fucking chunk out of his leg.
He can't remember much about being bitten. It all happened so fast. All he remembers is barking and pain and looking down and seeing a set of teeth in his leg and thinking that's not in the script and screaming "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Then he'd fainted at the sight of his own blood.
"Morgan."
He could recognize that annoyingly handsome voice anywhere. Colin opens his eyes and everything is white and for a moment he thinks maybe he's in heaven and staring into the face of God. But then his eyes adjust to the light and he realizes he's staring into the face of Bradley James instead, so he wasn't far off.
"Am I glad to see you," Colin says, and then someone is kind enough to clear their throat and enlighten him that he's in a room full of people in hospital and wasn't that just the worst thing to say ever.
Bradley smirks at Colin in the usual way and says, in the same manner a doctor would diagnosing a patient, "You have rabies."
Colin just blinks at Bradley, then he starts to hyperventilate. Until Katie at the back of the room has the decency to say, "You don't have rabies, Colin. Bradley's winding you up."
If looks could kill, Bradley would be dead a thousand times over. He leans in and stage whispers in Colin's ear, "Don't believe a word they tell you. You really do have rabies."
"Get him out of here, please?" Colin begs someone, before he turns into a rabid dog and bites Bradley on the arse.
Katie comes to Colin's rescue. "Come on Bradley, give the boy some air," she says, yanking him out of the room by his ear. He refuses to go quietly, yelping like a dog on his way out.
Meanwhile, Colin takes a good look at his leg; moving it results in hisses of pain. There are stitches.
"The doctor said it was a minor bite," Angel tells him, making the wound sound like a paper cut.
"Minor? Minor my arse."
"This is why I never work with animals and children," Anthony says, then remembers he's working on the set of Merlin. "Oh."
"They want to keep you here overnight," Angel carries on. "You're allowed to leave tomorrow..." She pauses, lowering her voice. "Bradley was really scared something bad had happened to you."
Bradley James, scared?
"I don't believe it!" Colin laughs. He also can't believe what he just said. He said I don't believe it in the same room as Richard Wilson. "I am so sorry, Richard."
Richard just raises an eyebrow at him far too much like Gaius and says, "Get some rest, Colin," and suddenly he's too tired to keep his eyes open anymore, drifting into sleep.
***
Colin dreams of dog bites and love bites, then he wakes up in the middle of Bradley giving him one (a love bite, that is).
"Bradley," Colin mutters, half asleep, eyes half open. A patch of his neck is red and sticky. "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like," Bradley mumbles back, because it's hard to speak and suck someone's neck at the same time.
"This is a hospital," Colin says, making a poor attempt at squirming away. "Not your hotel room."
"Close your eyes and pretend," Bradley replies thickly in his ear, then goes back to kissing his neck and sliding his hand down Colin's body.
"A nurse could walk right in here." Colin catches Bradley's wrist before his hand slips familiarly between his legs. "Stop it!"
Bradley sulks. "Why?"
"Because maybe I don't want to be arrested for public indecency!"
"But you look so cute in that dress."
"It's a hospital dressing gown!"
"Stop shouting or a nurse will come in here and catch me with my hand up it."
"Don't you dare--!"
Colin throws his head back against the pillows and makes a guttural sound.
"You were saying...?" Bradley smirks.
"I will kill you for this," Colin vows.
"That's what you always say." Bradley pacifies Colin with a kiss, and Colin spends the next few minutes gasping for air with his hands fisted in Bradley's shirt, trying to make as little noise as possible while his co-star strokes him until the bedsheets need changing.
Colin feels a lot better afterwards, but he looks worse than he did when he first arrived at the hospital, sweaty and flushed, like he has a fever, when he came in with an animal bite.
"That," Bradley grins, "was for interrupting my fridge shopping." He adds thoughtfully, "And for saying you had rabies. That was a bit rude."
"A tad," Colin replies blearily. "Exactly how am I going to explain the mess to the nurse?"
"I'm sure it happens all the time." Bradley drops something into Colin's lap. "Here. Brought you a sandwich."
How thoughtful, Colin thinks, then he looks inside the two slices of bread and frowns at the pink stuff. "Bradley, this is ham." The dumb look on Bradley's face indicates he doesn't see what the problem is. "I'm a vegetarian, remember?"
Bradley looks blank for a minute, and then his face twists in embarrassment. "Bugger." He makes for the door. "I'll get you a salad or something--"
"Bradley," Colin interrupts with a look that says don't go. He pats the space beside him on the bed. "C'mere."
Bradley hovers by the door a moment, then he goes over to to the bed and climbs up next to Colin. Colin lifts his head so Bradley can slide his arm around his shoulders, then Colin rests his head back down and into the crook of Bradley's neck.
"You were scared," Colin says after a moment. "Angel told me."
Bradley thinks, Angel and her big mouth. "I don't get scared," he insists, trailing his fingers along Colin's shoulder, and Colin wonders if he's talking to Bradley or Arthur.
Colin breaks the news gently to him, "Everyone gets scared."
Bradley looks briefly irritated because the last thing he wants to talk about is his feelings, and Colin isn't supposed to know Bradley was more scared about hearing Colin was in hospital than he was finding out his grandmother was on her deathbed.
"All right!" Bradley surrenders to the truth. "When I found out you were in here I thought the worst, freaked out and was quiet for a whole twenty minutes." Bradley is never quiet, therefore this is a very big deal. "Happy?"
"You're sweet," Colin says, staring fondly at him.
"Yeah, well, I'm also fridgeless, and it's all your fault, and I will never forgive you," Bradley says, pouting petulantly. "Unless you buy me a fridge."
Colin rolls his eyes. "I'll buy you a fridge freezer if you shut up about it," he moans, and Bradley picks up the ham sandwich and smushes it in Colin's face.
"Stupid pooch should have known better," Bradley grumbles, wrapping his arm possessively around Colin's waist and pulling him close. "I'm the only one allowed to bite you."
Colin feels the marks on his neck. "You know why Merlin wears that scarf so much?" he asks, and Bradley shakes his head. "Because it's the only way the wardrobe department can cover up the love bites."
Bradley tips his head back and laughs.
"Colin," Bradley says, once the laughter subsides, his heart in his mouth. "Let this be your last visit to hospital."
Colin can hardly promise Bradley he'll never end up in hospital again. "Who knows what will happen--"
"Colin," Bradley says with an edge of desperation in his voice.
"Okay," Colin says, pulling Bradley into a hug. "Okay, Bradley."
pairing: Bradley/Colin
words: 1719
rating: PG-13
note: I can't believe I've written Colin/Bradley before Arthur/Merlin (I'm in the middle of writing Merlin fic, but I needed to get this out of the way first). This is several kinds of embarrassing, hahah. On the Merlin commentary it was mentioned that Colin went to hospital after that dog in the "Valiant" episode bit him, and after I heard that I thought, 'I want to write that!' and ended up with this crack. It really shows how much I've repeatedly watched the Merlin cast video diaries on youtube. Feedback is really appreciated because I've never written RPF before.
Dog Bites and Love Bites
Bradley and Angel go fridge shopping because Bradley has had enough of not owning a fridge and he misses drinking milk and he doesn't care if Anthony says it's not good for him. Angel has to escort Bradley every time he goes shopping for anything in France ever since the incident where Bradley was "tricked" into buying a few grapes and strawberries for a whopping sixteen pounds. In the end Bradley hadn't even eaten that fruit because he'd forgotten about it, and when he did remember (thanks to a rotting smell coming from under his hotel bed), it had gone off because he didn't have a fridge and not having a fridge makes Bradley really angry, and when Bradley is really angry his face turns a rather unbecoming shade of red, so Bradley and Angel go fridge shopping.
Angel films Bradley whilst he sizes up fridges. He seems unimpressed by what's on offer.
"I don't think any of these fridges are up to my standard, Merlin fans," Bradley tells the video camera gravely.
"What's your ideal fridge, Bradley?" Angel asks, giggling. "Tell us, what do you look for in a fridge?"
Bradley rubs his chin thoughtfully. "Size. I want something big. Bigger than Beyonce's bottom."
"I think someone's overcompensating and wants to buy a really big fridge because they're lacking in another area."
Bradley takes one look at Angel and says, "Hussy."
Angel gasps behind the camera. "You're the one who's a hussy! A hussy for Colin."
"I am not a hussy for Colin," Bradley deadpans. "Colin is a hussy for me."
"You heard it here first, Merlin fans," Angel says, knowing this won't make the Merlin DVD extras.
All of a sudden, Bradley's mobile rings. He fishes it out of his jeans pocket and answers the call in a silly French accent, "Bonjour!"
Angel watches the colour drain from Bradley's face. His lips purse into a straight line as he turns away from the camera, listening carefully to the voice on the other end of the line. Then Bradley hangs up the call, his hand covers the camera lens, and Angel looks at him uneasily. "What's happened?"
"Colin's in hospital."
Angel is left staring open-mouthed after Bradley as he strides out of the shop and flags down a taxi. She switches off the camera and manages to catch up with him before he instructs the taxi driver to get them to the hospital, and to step on it.
The thing about Bradley is that he never shuts up.
He's quiet the entire taxi ride.
***
Colin hates dogs.
Well, he used to like them, until one decided to try and take a big fucking chunk out of his leg.
He can't remember much about being bitten. It all happened so fast. All he remembers is barking and pain and looking down and seeing a set of teeth in his leg and thinking that's not in the script and screaming "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Then he'd fainted at the sight of his own blood.
"Morgan."
He could recognize that annoyingly handsome voice anywhere. Colin opens his eyes and everything is white and for a moment he thinks maybe he's in heaven and staring into the face of God. But then his eyes adjust to the light and he realizes he's staring into the face of Bradley James instead, so he wasn't far off.
"Am I glad to see you," Colin says, and then someone is kind enough to clear their throat and enlighten him that he's in a room full of people in hospital and wasn't that just the worst thing to say ever.
Bradley smirks at Colin in the usual way and says, in the same manner a doctor would diagnosing a patient, "You have rabies."
Colin just blinks at Bradley, then he starts to hyperventilate. Until Katie at the back of the room has the decency to say, "You don't have rabies, Colin. Bradley's winding you up."
If looks could kill, Bradley would be dead a thousand times over. He leans in and stage whispers in Colin's ear, "Don't believe a word they tell you. You really do have rabies."
"Get him out of here, please?" Colin begs someone, before he turns into a rabid dog and bites Bradley on the arse.
Katie comes to Colin's rescue. "Come on Bradley, give the boy some air," she says, yanking him out of the room by his ear. He refuses to go quietly, yelping like a dog on his way out.
Meanwhile, Colin takes a good look at his leg; moving it results in hisses of pain. There are stitches.
"The doctor said it was a minor bite," Angel tells him, making the wound sound like a paper cut.
"Minor? Minor my arse."
"This is why I never work with animals and children," Anthony says, then remembers he's working on the set of Merlin. "Oh."
"They want to keep you here overnight," Angel carries on. "You're allowed to leave tomorrow..." She pauses, lowering her voice. "Bradley was really scared something bad had happened to you."
Bradley James, scared?
"I don't believe it!" Colin laughs. He also can't believe what he just said. He said I don't believe it in the same room as Richard Wilson. "I am so sorry, Richard."
Richard just raises an eyebrow at him far too much like Gaius and says, "Get some rest, Colin," and suddenly he's too tired to keep his eyes open anymore, drifting into sleep.
***
Colin dreams of dog bites and love bites, then he wakes up in the middle of Bradley giving him one (a love bite, that is).
"Bradley," Colin mutters, half asleep, eyes half open. A patch of his neck is red and sticky. "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like," Bradley mumbles back, because it's hard to speak and suck someone's neck at the same time.
"This is a hospital," Colin says, making a poor attempt at squirming away. "Not your hotel room."
"Close your eyes and pretend," Bradley replies thickly in his ear, then goes back to kissing his neck and sliding his hand down Colin's body.
"A nurse could walk right in here." Colin catches Bradley's wrist before his hand slips familiarly between his legs. "Stop it!"
Bradley sulks. "Why?"
"Because maybe I don't want to be arrested for public indecency!"
"But you look so cute in that dress."
"It's a hospital dressing gown!"
"Stop shouting or a nurse will come in here and catch me with my hand up it."
"Don't you dare--!"
Colin throws his head back against the pillows and makes a guttural sound.
"You were saying...?" Bradley smirks.
"I will kill you for this," Colin vows.
"That's what you always say." Bradley pacifies Colin with a kiss, and Colin spends the next few minutes gasping for air with his hands fisted in Bradley's shirt, trying to make as little noise as possible while his co-star strokes him until the bedsheets need changing.
Colin feels a lot better afterwards, but he looks worse than he did when he first arrived at the hospital, sweaty and flushed, like he has a fever, when he came in with an animal bite.
"That," Bradley grins, "was for interrupting my fridge shopping." He adds thoughtfully, "And for saying you had rabies. That was a bit rude."
"A tad," Colin replies blearily. "Exactly how am I going to explain the mess to the nurse?"
"I'm sure it happens all the time." Bradley drops something into Colin's lap. "Here. Brought you a sandwich."
How thoughtful, Colin thinks, then he looks inside the two slices of bread and frowns at the pink stuff. "Bradley, this is ham." The dumb look on Bradley's face indicates he doesn't see what the problem is. "I'm a vegetarian, remember?"
Bradley looks blank for a minute, and then his face twists in embarrassment. "Bugger." He makes for the door. "I'll get you a salad or something--"
"Bradley," Colin interrupts with a look that says don't go. He pats the space beside him on the bed. "C'mere."
Bradley hovers by the door a moment, then he goes over to to the bed and climbs up next to Colin. Colin lifts his head so Bradley can slide his arm around his shoulders, then Colin rests his head back down and into the crook of Bradley's neck.
"You were scared," Colin says after a moment. "Angel told me."
Bradley thinks, Angel and her big mouth. "I don't get scared," he insists, trailing his fingers along Colin's shoulder, and Colin wonders if he's talking to Bradley or Arthur.
Colin breaks the news gently to him, "Everyone gets scared."
Bradley looks briefly irritated because the last thing he wants to talk about is his feelings, and Colin isn't supposed to know Bradley was more scared about hearing Colin was in hospital than he was finding out his grandmother was on her deathbed.
"All right!" Bradley surrenders to the truth. "When I found out you were in here I thought the worst, freaked out and was quiet for a whole twenty minutes." Bradley is never quiet, therefore this is a very big deal. "Happy?"
"You're sweet," Colin says, staring fondly at him.
"Yeah, well, I'm also fridgeless, and it's all your fault, and I will never forgive you," Bradley says, pouting petulantly. "Unless you buy me a fridge."
Colin rolls his eyes. "I'll buy you a fridge freezer if you shut up about it," he moans, and Bradley picks up the ham sandwich and smushes it in Colin's face.
"Stupid pooch should have known better," Bradley grumbles, wrapping his arm possessively around Colin's waist and pulling him close. "I'm the only one allowed to bite you."
Colin feels the marks on his neck. "You know why Merlin wears that scarf so much?" he asks, and Bradley shakes his head. "Because it's the only way the wardrobe department can cover up the love bites."
Bradley tips his head back and laughs.
"Colin," Bradley says, once the laughter subsides, his heart in his mouth. "Let this be your last visit to hospital."
Colin can hardly promise Bradley he'll never end up in hospital again. "Who knows what will happen--"
"Colin," Bradley says with an edge of desperation in his voice.
"Okay," Colin says, pulling Bradley into a hug. "Okay, Bradley."