(no subject)
This is hard to explain.
It's a bit like being afraid of riding a roller coaster you've already ridden, you know? Where you've stood in that line before, waited for all those people in front of you to go. You can hear them scream and you think about turning around and getting out, but then when you turn around you see all the people behind you and your friends grab your arms and convince you to stay. They tell you what you already know, that it's fun, that you love this ride, that it's perfectly safe. It doesn't change anything and your heartbeat screams in your ears as they strap you in. There's no going back as the chains pull your car. You go up that first hill, sure that the end is coming as you cross the threshold at the apex. As you begin to fall, you can't even scream, you're so scared. And then... it changes. The fear falls away, and for the next two minutes of your life, you feel like you're flying. Afterwards, you can't stop smiling as you walk with shaky legs away from the ride. Then someone says "Let's go again" and it starts all over, and you know everything's coming to a close.
It was hard to get on, but I don't regret it. But I'm afraid of going again.
Does that make sense? Because it's a bit like that.
It's a bit like being afraid of riding a roller coaster you've already ridden, you know? Where you've stood in that line before, waited for all those people in front of you to go. You can hear them scream and you think about turning around and getting out, but then when you turn around you see all the people behind you and your friends grab your arms and convince you to stay. They tell you what you already know, that it's fun, that you love this ride, that it's perfectly safe. It doesn't change anything and your heartbeat screams in your ears as they strap you in. There's no going back as the chains pull your car. You go up that first hill, sure that the end is coming as you cross the threshold at the apex. As you begin to fall, you can't even scream, you're so scared. And then... it changes. The fear falls away, and for the next two minutes of your life, you feel like you're flying. Afterwards, you can't stop smiling as you walk with shaky legs away from the ride. Then someone says "Let's go again" and it starts all over, and you know everything's coming to a close.
It was hard to get on, but I don't regret it. But I'm afraid of going again.
Does that make sense? Because it's a bit like that.