Feed Your Head, Part 6
Feed Your Head, Part 6
Danneel watched silently as Jensen cared for Thomas, changing him and then putting him down for a nap, Gen busy on the phone with both Jared’s family and her own. She wasn’t sure how to feel. Any time she felt something positive, she admonished herself for it. She couldn’t enjoy things now, could she? Of course she was happy to be back home, but it came at a terrible cost. Still, she couldn’t help smiling at her husband, her hand slowly rubbing over her belly. She walked over to where Jensen stood over Thomas’ crib and took his hand.
“You know, you’re really good at this? I mean, you always have been, but watching you now…”
Jensen shrugged and shook his head. “Just doing what I have to.” His hand hung loosely in hers, and she swallowed and moved away, pushing her hair back behind her ears.
“Jensen, I’m really sorry,” Danneel whispered. “It was our only chance.”
“You don’t know that,” Jensen said, his eyes not leaving Thomas’ sleeping form. “Not for sure.”
Danneel sniffed. “So, you do blame me, then? After everything we went through to try to protect our family and get home, you’re mad at me?”
“Jared is our family!” Jensen turned to her, angry, voice rising slightly, and Danneel looked away. She couldn’t blame Jensen, not really. He was right. Jared was their family, and she felt more than guilty about leaving him there. There was every possibility that it could be forever, a death sentence. It just hurt so much more to know that Jensen blamed her, too. “Please,” he said, some of the fight leaving his voice, “I’d just really rather not have this conversation right now. It’s too soon.”
Danneel nodded, keeping her silence for a few moments. But she couldn’t let it go. “The thing is, Jensen, things have been so crazy lately, and I know not much time has passed, but I really need to know that we’re gonna be okay. We’re still married, I’m still having a baby, and I’m just feeling a little fragile right now.” She ended with a nervous laugh, which she felt was better than crying, her body sagging when Jensen’s arms surrounded her and pulled her close, even if they were a little stiff.
“We’ll be okay,” he promised, heaving a sigh and softening a little. “I’m just having a really hard time with this right now, okay?”
“Me too,” she murmured against his chest.
“We’ll get through this,” Jensen said, after a moment of silence. Danneel just hoped that he was right.
****
The hardest part wasn’t telling Gen. Gen at least knew the truth. The hardest part wasn’t even lying to the cops, Jensen found. It was lying to everyone else; especially when everyone else in their Supernatural family in Vancouver decided to help with a search party.
Jensen had to stand among them, had to pretend to lead and not know exactly where Jared had gone missing and what had happened to him. There was a sea of concerned faces around him, men and women alike, all close friends, and it pained him to fake all of this for their benefit.
They began walking the wooded areas of Stanley Park that night, everyone calling Jared’s name, some calling Jared’s cell phone to see if they’d hear it ringing. All of them wondered who could have overpowered Jared, all of them assured Jensen that they would find him, and all of them walked until it was dark, some with flashlights in their hands. They stopped when they decided they should retrace some of their steps in the morning, when it was light out again. Jensen thanked them all profusely, truly grateful for their efforts, even if it killed him that those efforts were completely futile.
He avoided the media the best he could, but most of them were kept well-informed by those who had helped search for Jared, anyway. There were more tweets and posts on social media than probably anybody could count, all asking the world to help if they could; to come forward if they knew anything about Jared’s disappearance, to let someone know if they saw anything suspicious, and, of course, to pray.
Jensen stared at the ceiling as he lay in bed, wondering how long this would go on for and wondering how long he could keep it up. He wondered if he and Danneel really would be okay. He wondered if Gen would ever truly forgive them. He tried not to think about how long Jared had been left in Wonderland on his own. Then he wondered if Jared truly was alone in that world right now, if Jared had gone back to Haigha, if he was looking for a way out, if he was safe, if he’d even managed to get away from the looking glass without the Jabberwock catching him…
Jensen turned onto his side, trying to calm his racing thoughts and pulse. At the moment, he felt like they could kill him. Danneel’s back was to Jensen, and he spooned up behind her, breathing in her newly-washed hair, and resting his hand over her belly. She pressed her own hand over his, and he closed his eyes, swallowing hard and kissing the back of her neck. He couldn’t doubt their future anymore, couldn’t be angry with her, couldn’t truly blame her. He needed her, now more than ever, needed them, Danneel and the baby. He took slower, deeper breaths and let his thoughts wander in a more pleasant direction, thinking about what their daughter would be like. The sleep he got wasn’t much, but it was still a much needed break from the chaos of Wonderland.
****
What Jared did most was sleep, at first. It was odd, considering how slow Jared felt his recovery had been, and how much time he’d thought he’d wasted, he hadn’t realized just how much he’d pushed himself to get moving after his run-in with the Queen. The sleep was good, comforting, and between naps, Haigha fed him small meals. None of it tasted like home, but it was all that Jared needed.
Eventually, Jared started stretching, loosening up, then testing out his muscles. It had been a long time since he’d done any sort of working out, aside from all of the walking and running he’d done while in Wonderland. It depressed him, how weak he felt, but Haigha talked him up, and Jared tried again…and again…and again, until he finally felt some of his old strength returning.
Part of Jared wanted to leave Haigha’s house as soon as possible. The other part remembered how he’d felt the last time he’d done that and wanted to be in the best shape possible before striking out on his next journey. He had no idea where they would go, how long they would be gone, or if they would even accomplish anything. He needed to be ready.
When he finally felt ready, he found Haigha ready as well, with small backpacks filled with food and canteens of water. “Even I’d say you’re strong enough,” Haigha said, smiling. “Stronger than me, anyway. Let’s see what we can find.”
“So,” Jared said, after they’d started out. “What about you? Do you have any family here?” They’d talked before they’d set out, of course, but they still hadn’t fully breached the topic of family.
“Not anymore,” Haigha answered. “Most were destroyed by the Queen. I was the last one left, and I surrendered to her. That’s when I began helping her and the Hatter, sending those poor girls on to her.”
“I’m sorry.” Jared felt awful for bringing it up, not wanting the Hare to relive any of the guilt he’d felt for what he’d done, or the loss of his family. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
Haigha shrugged. “I don’t mind. Why don’t you tell me about your family? If you don’t mind.”
Jared smiled. “Well, there’s the family I grew up with, and there’s the family I found and created. I have so many friends that I consider family now. I’m lucky.”
They kept to the grass, heading the long way towards the Queen’s castle. There was no sense in moving through the forest this time. It was the start of a journey that left plenty of time for stories. Jared told Haigha about his parents and siblings, about how he grew up. It took some time to explain the acting business to Haigha, but it eventually made some sense.
“Jensen’s my brother now, blood or no. He’s saved my life before, and he’s been there for me through so much, even though we see each other way more than any two people should. And Gen, Gen is…beautiful.” Jared paused, longing for her and wondering what she was doing right now. His spirits were slightly dampened, but he tried to keep them up, telling himself he’d find a way back to her. “You’d really like her. She’s hilarious, and so sweet, and she’s an amazing mother.”
“You two have a son?” Haigha asked, recalling from previous conversations.
“Yeah.” Jared nodded, feeling even more homesick. “Yeah, Thomas. He’s such a cute kid, all big, fat, and happy. He’s our pride and joy.” He almost stopped walking then, hurting with missing his son and the possibility of not being there for him. But he moved on, one foot in front of the other, Haigha right beside him.
Jared didn’t stop until they reached the Queen’s hedge maze, and then he stopped cold. The hedge maze had been torn down, bits and pieces of the walls standing, but most of it just grassy stubble. Up ahead, the Queen’s crypt and castle lay crumbled and broken. Slowly moving forward, Jared halted again, gasping at the sight of the Card Guards strewn about the place. Some were simply lying flat on the ground, but others were crumpled or torn in half. Jared felt a shiver run down his spine. It was odd, no blood and no gore, but still so gruesome, blank faces staring off into nothingness.
“The Jabberwock,” Haigha whispered.
“They told us to run.” Jared also kept his voice low, out of both fear and respect for the dead. He hadn’t had much of a say in the matter, only half-conscious at the time, but he still felt guilty. “They said they’d hold it off.”
“And they did.” Haigha stepped closer to one of the mangled Card Guards and stooped down, closing its eyes. “This is not your fault, Jared.”
“Maybe not,” Jared said, but all of this just reminded him of his worry over what he’d done to the Queen. “I’m just getting tired of being responsible for people dying. Do we…Do we bury them?”
Haigha hesitated. “It would take a long time, trying to dig into the earth with what we have available, and there are more than a few Card Guards here. It would also leave us out in the open for longer than we already have been.”
Jared didn’t move, his gaze focusing on the shocked face of a red Ace a few feet away. “I’d really hate to just leave them here like this. It isn’t right. Not after what they did.”
The Hare sighed, coming over to rest a hand on Jared’s shoulder. “You and your friends are very noble. It almost makes me want to come to your world.”
Jared scoffed. “Please. I’m not that noble, and the rest of my world isn’t much better than this, to be honest.”
Haigha raised an eyebrow. “You seem to be growing more cynical as time passes. I’m sure it’s still a beautiful place, or you wouldn’t want to go back there so badly.”
That gave Jared pause, and he sighed, realizing he was being dramatic. “You’re right. It is. It has its problems, but it’s still beautiful.” He stood staring at the wreckage around him, and Haigha fidgeted.
“We should get back into the grass. I’ll make sure the Guards are taken care of later. We can even ask someone for help when we get further into Wonderland.”
Jared smiled at Haigha’s sympathetic tone, and he didn’t doubt for a second that Haigha would make good on his word. “Thank you.” He walked off into the grass, pausing to stoop and pick up one of the Card Guards’ unbroken weapons. It couldn’t hurt to carry some form of protection while the Jabberwock was looking for him. Haigha followed suit, the two of them carrying an axe and a sword. “Do you think the same thing happened to the King?” Jared asked as they passed the hedge maze, trying to peer through the blades of grass as they walked.
“I wouldn’t stop to find out,” Haigha whispered.
They fell silent as they passed the rest of the destruction, the crypt and the castle. It seemed to take forever, though Jared knew they were even walking slower, nearly tip-toeing. The place seemed deserted, but this was where the Jabberwock sprang from, and they didn’t want to take any chances.
Jared breathed easier when they were well past the castle, and then he realized that this was brand new territory for him. They walked for a long time before he chanced a step out onto the road, the sky beginning to grow dark, and gasped. The road dipped below him, down a rolling hill, and he could see huts, houses, and cottages like Haigha’s below. Of course he knew that others had to live in Wonderland, but actually seeing the town was still somewhat unexpected.
“We’ll rest here, in the grass,” Haigha said, grasping Jared’s shoulder. “In the morning, we’ll see if we can find you some help.”
Jared almost protested, almost ran towards something familiar, towards civilization. But the light was fading, and he knew that the walk was much farther than it looked. Haigha was already sitting down in the grass, unwrapping some bread and fruit. It wasn’t quite as fresh as it used to be, but it would do. Jared sighed and joined his friend, doing his best to focus on food and sleep, though sleep would not come easily once he did lie down on his back. His thoughts were racing, his mind focused on the town, on hope and home. He startled when Haigha suddenly nudged him, having the thought the Hare was asleep.
“Maybe this will help?” Haigha handed Jared a flask, and Jared couldn’t help but chuckle, opening it and smelling the strength of the alcohol before he even tasted it, a smooth burn down his throat.
“Thanks.” Jared handed the flask back, the warmth flowing through his body as he closed his eyes. “I’ll try harder this time.” His sleep was dreamless, which he was grateful for; no nightmares about what had happened in Wonderland so far and no dreams of Gen that left him disappointed when he awoke. After Haigha forced him to take in some more food and water, Jared happily took the lead toward the town.
It seemed deserted at first, and Jared didn’t have to guess why. With the Jabberwock on the loose, he was sure that everyone who lived there would be keeping to their houses as much as possible. But as Jared and Haigha drew closer and began walking the streets, faces began peering out of windows, and then doors began opening, people cautiously stepping out. Most of them stayed in their doorways, whispering to each other, and Jared paused, unsure of himself.
“They know who you are,” Haigha said, stopping with him and smiling. “I have no doubt. The one who killed the Queen.”
Jared took a step back, shrinking beneath the weight of his reputation. He heard a hushed scolding, and suddenly a child was running up to him. It was a girl, no older than 5, blonde curls bouncing at her shoulders and big blue eyes staring up at him, her neck stretched back as far as possible to accommodate his height.
“Are you the one who took the Queen away?”
“What? I…” For a moment, Jared didn’t know how to answer the hushed, hopeful question. Did everyone, including the children, know that he’d beheaded the Queen? He settled for simple, nodding. “Yes.”
Small arms reached out and up, hands offering him a small white doll in the shape of a cat. “She’s my favorite,” the girl said, eyes still glued on Jared. “You can have her. I think she’s good luck.”
Before Jared could answer, the girl’s parents rushed over, her mother taking her by the shoulders. “Rosie, you need to get back in the house, it’s dangerous out here. I’m sorry,” the mother said to Jared, the girl’s father busy scanning the skies. “It’s just…”
“I know.” Jared raised his palms in understanding. “The Jabberwock. Believe me, I know.” He hesitated, lowering his hands. “And I’m sorry.”
The girl’s father turned to him then, head cocked, confused by what he’d said. “You have nothing to apologize for.” The man began ushering his family back inside, nodding to both Haigha and Jared. “Will you be joining us for dinner?”
****
Danneel woke to the sound of the alarm and quickly slapped it off. Jensen’s arms were still around her, and he barely stirred. She sighed, enjoying the feel of it and hating to wake him. She turned in his arms to face him, pushing her fingers through his hair. For the moment, he looked peaceful. Danneel supposed she had looked that way, too, when she’d slept, but now…now, she remembered.
“Jensen,” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair again. “Jensen, you have to wake up.” Jensen breathed in deeply and fidgeted, face turning into his pillow slightly before his eyes slipped open to look at her. There was a split-second of the look she was used to seeing when he woke up beside her, all happiness and love. But Jensen’s eyes clouded over when his memory came back to him, and she pulled him close. “I know,” she murmured. “I know. I’m so sorry.”
Jensen’s hand slipped up the back of her neck, fingers threading through her hair as he made her look at him again. “It’s not your fault,” he said, voice trembling, and Danneel nearly sobbed with his forgiveness. “It’s not your fault. I’m so sorry I blamed you. I’m sorry I wasn’t the one to do it.”
“Please,” Danneel said, not unkindly. “You think I could move that quickly if it were my brother we were leaving behind? Being married and in love doesn’t make things like that easy. It shouldn’t, anyway.” She took Jensen’s hand in hers, fingers playing between his. “It should still be hard. We can’t just blindly choose each other over everything.” Their eyes met, and she took a deep breath, releasing his hand. “You should probably go. Get ready. Everybody will be expecting you to be up and at the search.”
“Yeah.” Jensen sighed dejectedly. “You’re right.” Danneel closed her eyes and sighed herself, wishing they could skip ahead to whatever the outcome of all of this would be, Jared either coming home or not. Jensen’s lips brushed hers in what should’ve been a goodbye kiss, but instead of feeling him pull away, body weight lifting from the mattress, Jensen’s hand slid over her stomach and around her waist, pulling her close. His lips pressed more firmly against hers, and she immediately pushed her body against his, humming softly.
Suddenly, it was more urgent, Jensen’s tongue slipping between her lips, his hand slipping under her shirt and up along her side, hand moving around to her breast, the pad of his thumb pushing over the nipple. Danneel gasped as Jensen’s lips moved down to her neck, kissing, gently biting, and then she was lifting her arms and helping him to undress her, barely able to catch her breath as she pushed impatiently at his boxers. He settled on top of her, between her legs, reaching down and smoothing the head of his dick over her clit before pushing inside, both hands returning to her body as he moaned against her skin, hot breath on the curve of her neck. She arched and gasped at the feel of him inside her, thick and hard. It had been too long, she realized. Being separated, being in Wonderland, and the uncertainty of finding her way back home, back to Jensen, was all too much. She closed her eyes and smoothed a hand up his back, the other stroking the back of his neck, fingers pushing up into his hair. He lifted his head and kissed her again as he started thrusting, hard, fast, frantic, and Danneel tightened around him and lifted her hips, doing her best to meet him even as he stole her breath, taking it in until he had to break away, unable to hold back another moan.
Jensen was shaking, maybe they both were, Danneel didn’t really know for sure. They’d come so close to losing each other, to losing their family, everything. Jensen pressed in deep, hips rolling, and Danneel arched again and cried out, shuddering when it happened again, again, faster. They weren’t going to last long, Jensen holding her in place, hands on her hips, fingers bruising, his lips back to her neck, sucking and biting at sensitive skin. She clenched around him again, feeling her orgasm building, pleasure shivering along her spine, Jensen’s hips stuttering as he gasped and panted hard against her. His hands left her hips, one to slip behind her back to hold her close, the other fisting in the sheets. He was losing control, his body stiffening, thrusts erratic, and Danneel pushed a hand down between them, fingers rubbing frantically at her clit as Jensen’s moans grew louder. She opened her mouth, his name on the tip of her tongue, but all that came out were high-pitched noises with each labored breath, eyes widening and then squeezing shut as she trembled and screamed, body pushing up off the mattress into his, thrumming with heat, so tight around Jensen, who whimpered and pushed in, filling her completely and grinding against her, choking back cries as he came.
Jensen shuddered and exhaled against her when he finished, and she sighed with him, gasping as he slowly pulled out, the warmth of his come following. “Jesus, I missed you,” he rasped, still trying to catch his breath. He wrapped his arms around her, and she lowered her head to his chest, listening to his heartbeat return to normal. “I love you,” he said quietly, and Danneel lifted her head and kissed over his heart.
“I love you, too. I promise to never get kidnapped to another dimension again.” Jensen managed a laugh and Danneel smiled at him, then glanced at the clock. She sighed, hating to let him go, but knowing it was necessary. “You have to get back out there. They’ll expect you to keep being a leader in this search.”
“I know.” The mood changed quickly, but as Jensen got up, he kissed her again, brushing the hair back from her face. “Forgive me?” Danneel laughed and kissed his forehead, nodding.
“I think so.”
“Good.” He smiled, another quick kiss pressed to her lips. She wondered if it was wrong to feel happy, but she couldn’t help the way he made her feel in that moment. She stayed in bed while he showered and dressed, body still relaxed from her orgasm, still able to feel the press of Jensen’s fingers on her hips, the press of him inside of her.
After he left, she forced herself to get up and do the same, knowing the promises she’d made. She’d go to Gen, give her any help she needed, offer her support. If these were normal circumstances, the two of them would probably join the hunt for Jared, but Gen doubted her ability to keep up the act when she knew the truth. If it was hard for Jensen, it was a thousand times harder for Gen. It would be hard enough for Danneel to go outside to get to Gen without being stopped by someone from the media. Besides, Thomas still needed to be taken care of.
The thought of Thomas brought tears to Danneel’s eyes, that he might not know Jared, and that he might grow up without a father now. But she fought those tears back and forced herself to keep it together as she opened up the front door, stepping outside.
****
Jared stepped outside, Haigha just behind him, both of them carrying food and water again. The day was beautiful, but Jared couldn’t feel good about it, not now. They’d spent so much time in this town, each household inviting them to stay and dine, and not one person there knew of any other way to leave Wonderland. He was discouraged, to say the least, though he did his best to smile as he waved goodbye, stepping back out onto the road, Haigha resting a hand on his shoulder.
“There are other towns,” the Hare said, trying to comfort him. “More people. Someone will know something.”
“You don’t know that. But thanks.” Jared patted Haigha on the back, and they started walking. It frightened him a little, how much he wanted to go home yet how much he didn’t want to leave this town. The people were nice, the food better than the leftovers they carried on the road. Better yet, staying inside meant no Jabberwock, if it was even still around. He wondered if it had already been killed by some hero, with how quiet things had been.
The thought was ill-timed, a roar sounding in answer to it, and not as far off as Jared would’ve liked. He froze, the hairs standing up on the back of his neck, and it was then that he realized that he didn’t even know what this thing looked like. Something told him that he didn’t want to find out.
“Quick!” Haigha pushed him on past the town, towards the grass. Jared looked around as they went, seeing familiar, scared faces in windows. Part of him wanted to run to one of the houses for shelter, but he felt guilty for putting these people in danger already.
The Jabberwock landed just as they leapt into the grass to hide, and Jared knew that it wouldn’t be enough, not this time. He saw it, through the blades of grass, black and scaly, with wings like a dragon, a long, lethal tail, the winding neck of a snake, and a monstrous head. It was even bigger than he’d thought it would be, and his breath caught in his throat. The beast had both arms and legs ending in sharp talons, dark, hollow eyes, and a gaping jaw filled with rows of serrated teeth. Jared had never been this scared in his life, not even when the Queen had captured them all. He wondered how much good his axe would do against this monster, if any.
The Jabberwock landed facing the town, but turned towards where Jared and Haigha hid in the grass. Shrieking in anger, its tail lashed out, through the blades, thumping and then curling around Haigha, who shouted in surprise and dropped the sword he was carrying as he was dragged out of the grass and onto the road.
“Haigha!” Jared shouted, immediately jumping up and running after him, towards the Jabberwock. There was no time to be afraid, no time to think about it. Jared raised his axe and buried it in the base of the Jabberwock’s tail, feeling an odd satisfaction when it shrieked again. It took effort to pull the axe back out, blood spurting from the wound. Jared hefted the weapon again, but before he could use it a second time, the Jabberwock whirled around to face him, swatting him away with its clawed fingers.
It was more than a swipe to Jared, who cried out as he was flung back towards the grass, the breath knocked out of him when he landed flat on his back. He felt his left arm stinging where the Jabberwock’s talons had grazed him, and he struggled to keep his head in the game. It was coming towards him, he could hear it, and he froze when he realized that he’d lost his axe. He turned onto his stomach, ignoring the pain in his back as he crawled towards where he and Haigha had been hiding, reaching out for the sword Haigha had left behind, but his hands were coming up empty.
A massive hand wrapped around Jared’s leg, another screech sounding as he was pulled from the grass. The Monster turned him over, leaning down close to him, teeth dripping dangerously close to his face. It moved its hand to his chest and leaned into him, slowly forcing the air from his lungs. Tears sprung to Jared’s eyes as he struggled, but that only made things worse. It was too big, too strong for him, the pressure on his chest increasing bit by bit as he lay there, helpless. He wondered if it would kill him this way, or if it would stop just before killing him and slice him open, make him suffer. He’d seen what happened to the Card Guards, and there wasn’t much to them to begin with. He thought of Gen, and Thomas, and home, and wondered if all of the pain was from the Jabberwock, or if it was only his heart breaking. I tried, he thought, as the edges of his vision began to grow dark. He almost welcomed the darkness. It was more comforting than the sight of the monster hanging over him, killing him, dark, dead eyes watching him go.
The Monster shrieked again, almost deafening this close, and then it let go, raising its talons. Fear gripped Jared all over again, thinking he was right, he was right about the pain, the suffering, being ripped apart. He turned away and squeezed his eyes shut when teeth and talons came down at him again. And then he heard a crisp, clear sound, followed by a thud, then another, almost making the ground shake. He opened his eyes and saw the severed head of the Jabberwock staring back at him.
“H…Haigha?” Jared asked, slowly pushing himself upright. He still hurt, and he felt dizzy, holding his head in his hands for a moment. Another attack, another almost-death, another severed head…Wonderland. For a moment, he was back at the entrance of this world, reeling at the sight of something so foreign, so insane, that he almost couldn’t handle it.
“Try again.”
The voice didn’t sound familiar, and Jared shook himself out of his stupor and got to his feet, grimacing at all the aches and pains. Now he knew how Jensen felt after that run-in with the Caterpillar. “Who…” He looked around and saw the townsfolk creeping out of their houses in shock, saw Haigha alive and breathed a sigh of relief. And then he saw him, the one who had spoken, anger immediately taking hold of him. “You.”
“Mercy!” The Hatter fell to his knees, dropping the sword he’d stolen from the grass. He held clasped hands up as he begged, and Jared stopped in front of him, not even fully aware that he’d been advancing on the man. “Please.” The Hatter lowered his head, shoulders shaking, and Jared realized that the man was crying. “I understand if you have to kill me. I do. I know what I did.” He looked up at Jared, grinning now, even through his tears, and Jared could see in his eyes that he had truly been driven mad. “But you know what it’s like, don’t you? To be ruled by her?” He giggled, then laughed aloud. “For her to tear your heart out and control you?” He was crying again, the grin gone from his face.
Jared paused. The guy had a point. Jared did know what it was like. All too well. “I fought it,” he said, though it sounded weak. He was trying to hold onto his anger, to see something in black and white in the madness of this world. The Hatter sobbed and lowered his hands in response. “And she let you pick the girls, didn’t she? You chose to bring her one that was pregnant?”
“I COULDN’T FEEL ANYTHING!” The Hatter shouted desperately, and Jared took a step back, swallowing his pride. He remembered that, too, after his heart was taken. How hard it was to hold on to any kind of emotion.
“We’re not all as strong as you are, Jared.” Haigha stepped forward, with a limp, Jared noticed. “And we don’t all have the kind of friends to give us that kind of strength.” He sighed. “You know I’ve thought of this one as a monster for what he did, but he has a point. And if you want revenge on someone who took your friend to the Queen, you may as well take it out on me, too. You do remember that I helped him.”
Jared shook his head. “But then you helped us.”
“And he just saved us from the Jabberwock.” Haigha tilted his head at Jared. “Where are you drawing your lines?”
Jared stopped then, the tension in his shoulders released. He couldn’t fight this, not with any reason. He looked back down at the Hatter and felt genuine empathy, holding out his hand to help the man stand. “You can get up now, Jefferson,” he said, and Jefferson’s eyes lit up at the sound of his real name. “I’m sorry. And thank you. We owe you our lives.”
Jefferson took Jared’s hand and stood, smiling again. “The King and a few of the Card Guards survived and saved the few hearts that weren’t crushed when the Jabberwock broke free. He gave mine back to me,” he explained. “I almost didn’t want it at first. I’m still not sure that I do, but I guess it’s safer where it is now. It’s home.” He leaned close to Jared, whispering. “I can get you home.”
Jared jerked back, staring wide-eyed at Jefferson, his heart pounding. “What did you just say?”
Jefferson giggled and looked around, suspicious of the townspeople. “We’ll have to talk about this in private. While we walk?”
“Okay, fine.” Jared was quick to respond, too anxious to know what this was about. Then he turned to the mess of the Jabberwock in the middle of the road, the townsfolk gathering around it. “Do…Do we just…leave it there?”
One of the women planted a foot on the severed head, laughing and grinning at Jared. “We’ll take care of it. We’d love to get rid of this Monster, wouldn’t we?” She turned back to the crowd who laughed and cheered in response, and Jared smirked. It was good to see them happy, finally free of evil, though Jared wondered where that menacing Cheshire Cat had gotten off to. They parted with many more thanks and humble responses, Jared barely making it around the next bend before jumping in front of Jefferson, forcing him to stop.
“Tell me.”
Part 7
Danneel watched silently as Jensen cared for Thomas, changing him and then putting him down for a nap, Gen busy on the phone with both Jared’s family and her own. She wasn’t sure how to feel. Any time she felt something positive, she admonished herself for it. She couldn’t enjoy things now, could she? Of course she was happy to be back home, but it came at a terrible cost. Still, she couldn’t help smiling at her husband, her hand slowly rubbing over her belly. She walked over to where Jensen stood over Thomas’ crib and took his hand.
“You know, you’re really good at this? I mean, you always have been, but watching you now…”
Jensen shrugged and shook his head. “Just doing what I have to.” His hand hung loosely in hers, and she swallowed and moved away, pushing her hair back behind her ears.
“Jensen, I’m really sorry,” Danneel whispered. “It was our only chance.”
“You don’t know that,” Jensen said, his eyes not leaving Thomas’ sleeping form. “Not for sure.”
Danneel sniffed. “So, you do blame me, then? After everything we went through to try to protect our family and get home, you’re mad at me?”
“Jared is our family!” Jensen turned to her, angry, voice rising slightly, and Danneel looked away. She couldn’t blame Jensen, not really. He was right. Jared was their family, and she felt more than guilty about leaving him there. There was every possibility that it could be forever, a death sentence. It just hurt so much more to know that Jensen blamed her, too. “Please,” he said, some of the fight leaving his voice, “I’d just really rather not have this conversation right now. It’s too soon.”
Danneel nodded, keeping her silence for a few moments. But she couldn’t let it go. “The thing is, Jensen, things have been so crazy lately, and I know not much time has passed, but I really need to know that we’re gonna be okay. We’re still married, I’m still having a baby, and I’m just feeling a little fragile right now.” She ended with a nervous laugh, which she felt was better than crying, her body sagging when Jensen’s arms surrounded her and pulled her close, even if they were a little stiff.
“We’ll be okay,” he promised, heaving a sigh and softening a little. “I’m just having a really hard time with this right now, okay?”
“Me too,” she murmured against his chest.
“We’ll get through this,” Jensen said, after a moment of silence. Danneel just hoped that he was right.
****
The hardest part wasn’t telling Gen. Gen at least knew the truth. The hardest part wasn’t even lying to the cops, Jensen found. It was lying to everyone else; especially when everyone else in their Supernatural family in Vancouver decided to help with a search party.
Jensen had to stand among them, had to pretend to lead and not know exactly where Jared had gone missing and what had happened to him. There was a sea of concerned faces around him, men and women alike, all close friends, and it pained him to fake all of this for their benefit.
They began walking the wooded areas of Stanley Park that night, everyone calling Jared’s name, some calling Jared’s cell phone to see if they’d hear it ringing. All of them wondered who could have overpowered Jared, all of them assured Jensen that they would find him, and all of them walked until it was dark, some with flashlights in their hands. They stopped when they decided they should retrace some of their steps in the morning, when it was light out again. Jensen thanked them all profusely, truly grateful for their efforts, even if it killed him that those efforts were completely futile.
He avoided the media the best he could, but most of them were kept well-informed by those who had helped search for Jared, anyway. There were more tweets and posts on social media than probably anybody could count, all asking the world to help if they could; to come forward if they knew anything about Jared’s disappearance, to let someone know if they saw anything suspicious, and, of course, to pray.
Jensen stared at the ceiling as he lay in bed, wondering how long this would go on for and wondering how long he could keep it up. He wondered if he and Danneel really would be okay. He wondered if Gen would ever truly forgive them. He tried not to think about how long Jared had been left in Wonderland on his own. Then he wondered if Jared truly was alone in that world right now, if Jared had gone back to Haigha, if he was looking for a way out, if he was safe, if he’d even managed to get away from the looking glass without the Jabberwock catching him…
Jensen turned onto his side, trying to calm his racing thoughts and pulse. At the moment, he felt like they could kill him. Danneel’s back was to Jensen, and he spooned up behind her, breathing in her newly-washed hair, and resting his hand over her belly. She pressed her own hand over his, and he closed his eyes, swallowing hard and kissing the back of her neck. He couldn’t doubt their future anymore, couldn’t be angry with her, couldn’t truly blame her. He needed her, now more than ever, needed them, Danneel and the baby. He took slower, deeper breaths and let his thoughts wander in a more pleasant direction, thinking about what their daughter would be like. The sleep he got wasn’t much, but it was still a much needed break from the chaos of Wonderland.
****
What Jared did most was sleep, at first. It was odd, considering how slow Jared felt his recovery had been, and how much time he’d thought he’d wasted, he hadn’t realized just how much he’d pushed himself to get moving after his run-in with the Queen. The sleep was good, comforting, and between naps, Haigha fed him small meals. None of it tasted like home, but it was all that Jared needed.
Eventually, Jared started stretching, loosening up, then testing out his muscles. It had been a long time since he’d done any sort of working out, aside from all of the walking and running he’d done while in Wonderland. It depressed him, how weak he felt, but Haigha talked him up, and Jared tried again…and again…and again, until he finally felt some of his old strength returning.
Part of Jared wanted to leave Haigha’s house as soon as possible. The other part remembered how he’d felt the last time he’d done that and wanted to be in the best shape possible before striking out on his next journey. He had no idea where they would go, how long they would be gone, or if they would even accomplish anything. He needed to be ready.
When he finally felt ready, he found Haigha ready as well, with small backpacks filled with food and canteens of water. “Even I’d say you’re strong enough,” Haigha said, smiling. “Stronger than me, anyway. Let’s see what we can find.”
“So,” Jared said, after they’d started out. “What about you? Do you have any family here?” They’d talked before they’d set out, of course, but they still hadn’t fully breached the topic of family.
“Not anymore,” Haigha answered. “Most were destroyed by the Queen. I was the last one left, and I surrendered to her. That’s when I began helping her and the Hatter, sending those poor girls on to her.”
“I’m sorry.” Jared felt awful for bringing it up, not wanting the Hare to relive any of the guilt he’d felt for what he’d done, or the loss of his family. “I shouldn’t have asked.”
Haigha shrugged. “I don’t mind. Why don’t you tell me about your family? If you don’t mind.”
Jared smiled. “Well, there’s the family I grew up with, and there’s the family I found and created. I have so many friends that I consider family now. I’m lucky.”
They kept to the grass, heading the long way towards the Queen’s castle. There was no sense in moving through the forest this time. It was the start of a journey that left plenty of time for stories. Jared told Haigha about his parents and siblings, about how he grew up. It took some time to explain the acting business to Haigha, but it eventually made some sense.
“Jensen’s my brother now, blood or no. He’s saved my life before, and he’s been there for me through so much, even though we see each other way more than any two people should. And Gen, Gen is…beautiful.” Jared paused, longing for her and wondering what she was doing right now. His spirits were slightly dampened, but he tried to keep them up, telling himself he’d find a way back to her. “You’d really like her. She’s hilarious, and so sweet, and she’s an amazing mother.”
“You two have a son?” Haigha asked, recalling from previous conversations.
“Yeah.” Jared nodded, feeling even more homesick. “Yeah, Thomas. He’s such a cute kid, all big, fat, and happy. He’s our pride and joy.” He almost stopped walking then, hurting with missing his son and the possibility of not being there for him. But he moved on, one foot in front of the other, Haigha right beside him.
Jared didn’t stop until they reached the Queen’s hedge maze, and then he stopped cold. The hedge maze had been torn down, bits and pieces of the walls standing, but most of it just grassy stubble. Up ahead, the Queen’s crypt and castle lay crumbled and broken. Slowly moving forward, Jared halted again, gasping at the sight of the Card Guards strewn about the place. Some were simply lying flat on the ground, but others were crumpled or torn in half. Jared felt a shiver run down his spine. It was odd, no blood and no gore, but still so gruesome, blank faces staring off into nothingness.
“The Jabberwock,” Haigha whispered.
“They told us to run.” Jared also kept his voice low, out of both fear and respect for the dead. He hadn’t had much of a say in the matter, only half-conscious at the time, but he still felt guilty. “They said they’d hold it off.”
“And they did.” Haigha stepped closer to one of the mangled Card Guards and stooped down, closing its eyes. “This is not your fault, Jared.”
“Maybe not,” Jared said, but all of this just reminded him of his worry over what he’d done to the Queen. “I’m just getting tired of being responsible for people dying. Do we…Do we bury them?”
Haigha hesitated. “It would take a long time, trying to dig into the earth with what we have available, and there are more than a few Card Guards here. It would also leave us out in the open for longer than we already have been.”
Jared didn’t move, his gaze focusing on the shocked face of a red Ace a few feet away. “I’d really hate to just leave them here like this. It isn’t right. Not after what they did.”
The Hare sighed, coming over to rest a hand on Jared’s shoulder. “You and your friends are very noble. It almost makes me want to come to your world.”
Jared scoffed. “Please. I’m not that noble, and the rest of my world isn’t much better than this, to be honest.”
Haigha raised an eyebrow. “You seem to be growing more cynical as time passes. I’m sure it’s still a beautiful place, or you wouldn’t want to go back there so badly.”
That gave Jared pause, and he sighed, realizing he was being dramatic. “You’re right. It is. It has its problems, but it’s still beautiful.” He stood staring at the wreckage around him, and Haigha fidgeted.
“We should get back into the grass. I’ll make sure the Guards are taken care of later. We can even ask someone for help when we get further into Wonderland.”
Jared smiled at Haigha’s sympathetic tone, and he didn’t doubt for a second that Haigha would make good on his word. “Thank you.” He walked off into the grass, pausing to stoop and pick up one of the Card Guards’ unbroken weapons. It couldn’t hurt to carry some form of protection while the Jabberwock was looking for him. Haigha followed suit, the two of them carrying an axe and a sword. “Do you think the same thing happened to the King?” Jared asked as they passed the hedge maze, trying to peer through the blades of grass as they walked.
“I wouldn’t stop to find out,” Haigha whispered.
They fell silent as they passed the rest of the destruction, the crypt and the castle. It seemed to take forever, though Jared knew they were even walking slower, nearly tip-toeing. The place seemed deserted, but this was where the Jabberwock sprang from, and they didn’t want to take any chances.
Jared breathed easier when they were well past the castle, and then he realized that this was brand new territory for him. They walked for a long time before he chanced a step out onto the road, the sky beginning to grow dark, and gasped. The road dipped below him, down a rolling hill, and he could see huts, houses, and cottages like Haigha’s below. Of course he knew that others had to live in Wonderland, but actually seeing the town was still somewhat unexpected.
“We’ll rest here, in the grass,” Haigha said, grasping Jared’s shoulder. “In the morning, we’ll see if we can find you some help.”
Jared almost protested, almost ran towards something familiar, towards civilization. But the light was fading, and he knew that the walk was much farther than it looked. Haigha was already sitting down in the grass, unwrapping some bread and fruit. It wasn’t quite as fresh as it used to be, but it would do. Jared sighed and joined his friend, doing his best to focus on food and sleep, though sleep would not come easily once he did lie down on his back. His thoughts were racing, his mind focused on the town, on hope and home. He startled when Haigha suddenly nudged him, having the thought the Hare was asleep.
“Maybe this will help?” Haigha handed Jared a flask, and Jared couldn’t help but chuckle, opening it and smelling the strength of the alcohol before he even tasted it, a smooth burn down his throat.
“Thanks.” Jared handed the flask back, the warmth flowing through his body as he closed his eyes. “I’ll try harder this time.” His sleep was dreamless, which he was grateful for; no nightmares about what had happened in Wonderland so far and no dreams of Gen that left him disappointed when he awoke. After Haigha forced him to take in some more food and water, Jared happily took the lead toward the town.
It seemed deserted at first, and Jared didn’t have to guess why. With the Jabberwock on the loose, he was sure that everyone who lived there would be keeping to their houses as much as possible. But as Jared and Haigha drew closer and began walking the streets, faces began peering out of windows, and then doors began opening, people cautiously stepping out. Most of them stayed in their doorways, whispering to each other, and Jared paused, unsure of himself.
“They know who you are,” Haigha said, stopping with him and smiling. “I have no doubt. The one who killed the Queen.”
Jared took a step back, shrinking beneath the weight of his reputation. He heard a hushed scolding, and suddenly a child was running up to him. It was a girl, no older than 5, blonde curls bouncing at her shoulders and big blue eyes staring up at him, her neck stretched back as far as possible to accommodate his height.
“Are you the one who took the Queen away?”
“What? I…” For a moment, Jared didn’t know how to answer the hushed, hopeful question. Did everyone, including the children, know that he’d beheaded the Queen? He settled for simple, nodding. “Yes.”
Small arms reached out and up, hands offering him a small white doll in the shape of a cat. “She’s my favorite,” the girl said, eyes still glued on Jared. “You can have her. I think she’s good luck.”
Before Jared could answer, the girl’s parents rushed over, her mother taking her by the shoulders. “Rosie, you need to get back in the house, it’s dangerous out here. I’m sorry,” the mother said to Jared, the girl’s father busy scanning the skies. “It’s just…”
“I know.” Jared raised his palms in understanding. “The Jabberwock. Believe me, I know.” He hesitated, lowering his hands. “And I’m sorry.”
The girl’s father turned to him then, head cocked, confused by what he’d said. “You have nothing to apologize for.” The man began ushering his family back inside, nodding to both Haigha and Jared. “Will you be joining us for dinner?”
****
Danneel woke to the sound of the alarm and quickly slapped it off. Jensen’s arms were still around her, and he barely stirred. She sighed, enjoying the feel of it and hating to wake him. She turned in his arms to face him, pushing her fingers through his hair. For the moment, he looked peaceful. Danneel supposed she had looked that way, too, when she’d slept, but now…now, she remembered.
“Jensen,” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair again. “Jensen, you have to wake up.” Jensen breathed in deeply and fidgeted, face turning into his pillow slightly before his eyes slipped open to look at her. There was a split-second of the look she was used to seeing when he woke up beside her, all happiness and love. But Jensen’s eyes clouded over when his memory came back to him, and she pulled him close. “I know,” she murmured. “I know. I’m so sorry.”
Jensen’s hand slipped up the back of her neck, fingers threading through her hair as he made her look at him again. “It’s not your fault,” he said, voice trembling, and Danneel nearly sobbed with his forgiveness. “It’s not your fault. I’m so sorry I blamed you. I’m sorry I wasn’t the one to do it.”
“Please,” Danneel said, not unkindly. “You think I could move that quickly if it were my brother we were leaving behind? Being married and in love doesn’t make things like that easy. It shouldn’t, anyway.” She took Jensen’s hand in hers, fingers playing between his. “It should still be hard. We can’t just blindly choose each other over everything.” Their eyes met, and she took a deep breath, releasing his hand. “You should probably go. Get ready. Everybody will be expecting you to be up and at the search.”
“Yeah.” Jensen sighed dejectedly. “You’re right.” Danneel closed her eyes and sighed herself, wishing they could skip ahead to whatever the outcome of all of this would be, Jared either coming home or not. Jensen’s lips brushed hers in what should’ve been a goodbye kiss, but instead of feeling him pull away, body weight lifting from the mattress, Jensen’s hand slid over her stomach and around her waist, pulling her close. His lips pressed more firmly against hers, and she immediately pushed her body against his, humming softly.
Suddenly, it was more urgent, Jensen’s tongue slipping between her lips, his hand slipping under her shirt and up along her side, hand moving around to her breast, the pad of his thumb pushing over the nipple. Danneel gasped as Jensen’s lips moved down to her neck, kissing, gently biting, and then she was lifting her arms and helping him to undress her, barely able to catch her breath as she pushed impatiently at his boxers. He settled on top of her, between her legs, reaching down and smoothing the head of his dick over her clit before pushing inside, both hands returning to her body as he moaned against her skin, hot breath on the curve of her neck. She arched and gasped at the feel of him inside her, thick and hard. It had been too long, she realized. Being separated, being in Wonderland, and the uncertainty of finding her way back home, back to Jensen, was all too much. She closed her eyes and smoothed a hand up his back, the other stroking the back of his neck, fingers pushing up into his hair. He lifted his head and kissed her again as he started thrusting, hard, fast, frantic, and Danneel tightened around him and lifted her hips, doing her best to meet him even as he stole her breath, taking it in until he had to break away, unable to hold back another moan.
Jensen was shaking, maybe they both were, Danneel didn’t really know for sure. They’d come so close to losing each other, to losing their family, everything. Jensen pressed in deep, hips rolling, and Danneel arched again and cried out, shuddering when it happened again, again, faster. They weren’t going to last long, Jensen holding her in place, hands on her hips, fingers bruising, his lips back to her neck, sucking and biting at sensitive skin. She clenched around him again, feeling her orgasm building, pleasure shivering along her spine, Jensen’s hips stuttering as he gasped and panted hard against her. His hands left her hips, one to slip behind her back to hold her close, the other fisting in the sheets. He was losing control, his body stiffening, thrusts erratic, and Danneel pushed a hand down between them, fingers rubbing frantically at her clit as Jensen’s moans grew louder. She opened her mouth, his name on the tip of her tongue, but all that came out were high-pitched noises with each labored breath, eyes widening and then squeezing shut as she trembled and screamed, body pushing up off the mattress into his, thrumming with heat, so tight around Jensen, who whimpered and pushed in, filling her completely and grinding against her, choking back cries as he came.
Jensen shuddered and exhaled against her when he finished, and she sighed with him, gasping as he slowly pulled out, the warmth of his come following. “Jesus, I missed you,” he rasped, still trying to catch his breath. He wrapped his arms around her, and she lowered her head to his chest, listening to his heartbeat return to normal. “I love you,” he said quietly, and Danneel lifted her head and kissed over his heart.
“I love you, too. I promise to never get kidnapped to another dimension again.” Jensen managed a laugh and Danneel smiled at him, then glanced at the clock. She sighed, hating to let him go, but knowing it was necessary. “You have to get back out there. They’ll expect you to keep being a leader in this search.”
“I know.” The mood changed quickly, but as Jensen got up, he kissed her again, brushing the hair back from her face. “Forgive me?” Danneel laughed and kissed his forehead, nodding.
“I think so.”
“Good.” He smiled, another quick kiss pressed to her lips. She wondered if it was wrong to feel happy, but she couldn’t help the way he made her feel in that moment. She stayed in bed while he showered and dressed, body still relaxed from her orgasm, still able to feel the press of Jensen’s fingers on her hips, the press of him inside of her.
After he left, she forced herself to get up and do the same, knowing the promises she’d made. She’d go to Gen, give her any help she needed, offer her support. If these were normal circumstances, the two of them would probably join the hunt for Jared, but Gen doubted her ability to keep up the act when she knew the truth. If it was hard for Jensen, it was a thousand times harder for Gen. It would be hard enough for Danneel to go outside to get to Gen without being stopped by someone from the media. Besides, Thomas still needed to be taken care of.
The thought of Thomas brought tears to Danneel’s eyes, that he might not know Jared, and that he might grow up without a father now. But she fought those tears back and forced herself to keep it together as she opened up the front door, stepping outside.
****
Jared stepped outside, Haigha just behind him, both of them carrying food and water again. The day was beautiful, but Jared couldn’t feel good about it, not now. They’d spent so much time in this town, each household inviting them to stay and dine, and not one person there knew of any other way to leave Wonderland. He was discouraged, to say the least, though he did his best to smile as he waved goodbye, stepping back out onto the road, Haigha resting a hand on his shoulder.
“There are other towns,” the Hare said, trying to comfort him. “More people. Someone will know something.”
“You don’t know that. But thanks.” Jared patted Haigha on the back, and they started walking. It frightened him a little, how much he wanted to go home yet how much he didn’t want to leave this town. The people were nice, the food better than the leftovers they carried on the road. Better yet, staying inside meant no Jabberwock, if it was even still around. He wondered if it had already been killed by some hero, with how quiet things had been.
The thought was ill-timed, a roar sounding in answer to it, and not as far off as Jared would’ve liked. He froze, the hairs standing up on the back of his neck, and it was then that he realized that he didn’t even know what this thing looked like. Something told him that he didn’t want to find out.
“Quick!” Haigha pushed him on past the town, towards the grass. Jared looked around as they went, seeing familiar, scared faces in windows. Part of him wanted to run to one of the houses for shelter, but he felt guilty for putting these people in danger already.
The Jabberwock landed just as they leapt into the grass to hide, and Jared knew that it wouldn’t be enough, not this time. He saw it, through the blades of grass, black and scaly, with wings like a dragon, a long, lethal tail, the winding neck of a snake, and a monstrous head. It was even bigger than he’d thought it would be, and his breath caught in his throat. The beast had both arms and legs ending in sharp talons, dark, hollow eyes, and a gaping jaw filled with rows of serrated teeth. Jared had never been this scared in his life, not even when the Queen had captured them all. He wondered how much good his axe would do against this monster, if any.
The Jabberwock landed facing the town, but turned towards where Jared and Haigha hid in the grass. Shrieking in anger, its tail lashed out, through the blades, thumping and then curling around Haigha, who shouted in surprise and dropped the sword he was carrying as he was dragged out of the grass and onto the road.
“Haigha!” Jared shouted, immediately jumping up and running after him, towards the Jabberwock. There was no time to be afraid, no time to think about it. Jared raised his axe and buried it in the base of the Jabberwock’s tail, feeling an odd satisfaction when it shrieked again. It took effort to pull the axe back out, blood spurting from the wound. Jared hefted the weapon again, but before he could use it a second time, the Jabberwock whirled around to face him, swatting him away with its clawed fingers.
It was more than a swipe to Jared, who cried out as he was flung back towards the grass, the breath knocked out of him when he landed flat on his back. He felt his left arm stinging where the Jabberwock’s talons had grazed him, and he struggled to keep his head in the game. It was coming towards him, he could hear it, and he froze when he realized that he’d lost his axe. He turned onto his stomach, ignoring the pain in his back as he crawled towards where he and Haigha had been hiding, reaching out for the sword Haigha had left behind, but his hands were coming up empty.
A massive hand wrapped around Jared’s leg, another screech sounding as he was pulled from the grass. The Monster turned him over, leaning down close to him, teeth dripping dangerously close to his face. It moved its hand to his chest and leaned into him, slowly forcing the air from his lungs. Tears sprung to Jared’s eyes as he struggled, but that only made things worse. It was too big, too strong for him, the pressure on his chest increasing bit by bit as he lay there, helpless. He wondered if it would kill him this way, or if it would stop just before killing him and slice him open, make him suffer. He’d seen what happened to the Card Guards, and there wasn’t much to them to begin with. He thought of Gen, and Thomas, and home, and wondered if all of the pain was from the Jabberwock, or if it was only his heart breaking. I tried, he thought, as the edges of his vision began to grow dark. He almost welcomed the darkness. It was more comforting than the sight of the monster hanging over him, killing him, dark, dead eyes watching him go.
The Monster shrieked again, almost deafening this close, and then it let go, raising its talons. Fear gripped Jared all over again, thinking he was right, he was right about the pain, the suffering, being ripped apart. He turned away and squeezed his eyes shut when teeth and talons came down at him again. And then he heard a crisp, clear sound, followed by a thud, then another, almost making the ground shake. He opened his eyes and saw the severed head of the Jabberwock staring back at him.
“H…Haigha?” Jared asked, slowly pushing himself upright. He still hurt, and he felt dizzy, holding his head in his hands for a moment. Another attack, another almost-death, another severed head…Wonderland. For a moment, he was back at the entrance of this world, reeling at the sight of something so foreign, so insane, that he almost couldn’t handle it.
“Try again.”
The voice didn’t sound familiar, and Jared shook himself out of his stupor and got to his feet, grimacing at all the aches and pains. Now he knew how Jensen felt after that run-in with the Caterpillar. “Who…” He looked around and saw the townsfolk creeping out of their houses in shock, saw Haigha alive and breathed a sigh of relief. And then he saw him, the one who had spoken, anger immediately taking hold of him. “You.”
“Mercy!” The Hatter fell to his knees, dropping the sword he’d stolen from the grass. He held clasped hands up as he begged, and Jared stopped in front of him, not even fully aware that he’d been advancing on the man. “Please.” The Hatter lowered his head, shoulders shaking, and Jared realized that the man was crying. “I understand if you have to kill me. I do. I know what I did.” He looked up at Jared, grinning now, even through his tears, and Jared could see in his eyes that he had truly been driven mad. “But you know what it’s like, don’t you? To be ruled by her?” He giggled, then laughed aloud. “For her to tear your heart out and control you?” He was crying again, the grin gone from his face.
Jared paused. The guy had a point. Jared did know what it was like. All too well. “I fought it,” he said, though it sounded weak. He was trying to hold onto his anger, to see something in black and white in the madness of this world. The Hatter sobbed and lowered his hands in response. “And she let you pick the girls, didn’t she? You chose to bring her one that was pregnant?”
“I COULDN’T FEEL ANYTHING!” The Hatter shouted desperately, and Jared took a step back, swallowing his pride. He remembered that, too, after his heart was taken. How hard it was to hold on to any kind of emotion.
“We’re not all as strong as you are, Jared.” Haigha stepped forward, with a limp, Jared noticed. “And we don’t all have the kind of friends to give us that kind of strength.” He sighed. “You know I’ve thought of this one as a monster for what he did, but he has a point. And if you want revenge on someone who took your friend to the Queen, you may as well take it out on me, too. You do remember that I helped him.”
Jared shook his head. “But then you helped us.”
“And he just saved us from the Jabberwock.” Haigha tilted his head at Jared. “Where are you drawing your lines?”
Jared stopped then, the tension in his shoulders released. He couldn’t fight this, not with any reason. He looked back down at the Hatter and felt genuine empathy, holding out his hand to help the man stand. “You can get up now, Jefferson,” he said, and Jefferson’s eyes lit up at the sound of his real name. “I’m sorry. And thank you. We owe you our lives.”
Jefferson took Jared’s hand and stood, smiling again. “The King and a few of the Card Guards survived and saved the few hearts that weren’t crushed when the Jabberwock broke free. He gave mine back to me,” he explained. “I almost didn’t want it at first. I’m still not sure that I do, but I guess it’s safer where it is now. It’s home.” He leaned close to Jared, whispering. “I can get you home.”
Jared jerked back, staring wide-eyed at Jefferson, his heart pounding. “What did you just say?”
Jefferson giggled and looked around, suspicious of the townspeople. “We’ll have to talk about this in private. While we walk?”
“Okay, fine.” Jared was quick to respond, too anxious to know what this was about. Then he turned to the mess of the Jabberwock in the middle of the road, the townsfolk gathering around it. “Do…Do we just…leave it there?”
One of the women planted a foot on the severed head, laughing and grinning at Jared. “We’ll take care of it. We’d love to get rid of this Monster, wouldn’t we?” She turned back to the crowd who laughed and cheered in response, and Jared smirked. It was good to see them happy, finally free of evil, though Jared wondered where that menacing Cheshire Cat had gotten off to. They parted with many more thanks and humble responses, Jared barely making it around the next bend before jumping in front of Jefferson, forcing him to stop.
“Tell me.”
Part 7