Throw Down 006 [voice]

[timeforthegame]

[The device clicks on to a baby screaming as loud as a tiny baby can scream and Emmett trying to calm it down. Where the hell is Rose when you need her? She's good with kids and this baby isn't like Nessie who is freakishly well behaved even with the whole face touching thing.]

Emmettalie Baseball, seriously, you are a robot baby. Shut up.

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Comments

voice;

[swirlygreeneyes]

Umm...Emmett?

I don't think a baby is big enough to fight with bears.

voice;

[timeforthegame]

[As though this is painstakingly obvious which it is. In his head.]

Not right now obviously but she'll get bigger and she needs to know how to fend for herself when I'm off with my lady or playing video games. And whenever there's a game on.

voice;

[swirlygreeneyes]

That's a good point. She will need to.

I wish my Pops would'a thought about that with me.

voice;

[timeforthegame]

You okay kid?

[And Emmettalie burbles away.]

No, not you. There will be a quiz on the key points of this lesson.

[perfectsummons]

I don't think teaching a baby about bears is exactly considered... stimulating to them. She can't really understand what you're saying anyway. Maybe you should try reading to her? I bet she'd like that.

[timeforthegame]

Do you know what kids books they have down there? Goldilocks and the Three Bears. I need to teach Emmettalie about how dangerous they really are because the book makes it easy for some random girl to give them the slip. Bears are like ninjas. Big hairy ninjas.

[voice]

[however_faraway]

[Have some hysterical laughter.]

You have a baby? Oh, Christ, that thing is doomed.

[voice]

[timeforthegame]

Hey, I have a niece who totally loves me. I can deal with a baby.

[He probably sounds indignant. How hard can these things be to look after?]

[voice]

[however_faraway]

Yeah, but you get to give that back to your brother. You have to keep little, er, Emmettalie.

[voice]

[timeforthegame]

What's so hard about babies? Feed, change, burp, bathe, talk at, play with. I don't need to sleep.

[A moment as he pauses, possibly because of a dawning realisation.]

Emmettalie won't cry when I'm watching TV right?

[myultimatehigh]

Good man. Needs to know her stuff.

Where'd she come from anyway? Assuming she got here the normal way in which case spare me.

[timeforthegame]

I woke up and she was in my room on a spare bed. Which is kind of awesome because I've seen pregnancy and dude...how can any woman want that. Ever.