lone awaited update and Xmas...
So you know that feeling were you just feel completely alone but you are surrounded by a ton of people and you're sure they all care about you but in some way you know they don't and in some way you don't want them to. Yea I'm kinda feeling that right now.
I'm sitting in the office at work, and Brady is here instead of Maggie. Big Mistake, I was 15 minutes late because stupid me wanted to try and EAT before coming into work, and actually iron my clothes so I looked nice, well I got here and the first thing out of Brady's mouth was, oh its 8:15 isn't it. 15 minutes... and then nothing. So I haven't spoken a word to him because even if I did try to explain it does no good. I am in a professional position as should be able to make it to work on time, whether there are circumstances out of my control or not.
But for you viewers at home I will explain myself. So one thing is I am quitting smoking, and not the usual haha I'm going to quit and then start back up in a few days thing, No I am actually trying to do it. I am going to have to refuse to buy any come Friday when I get money and that will be the real test, but I'm trying to quit all week so that decision on Friday is not so hard. Not only that like I said I wanted to look nice so I ironed my clothes, and finally for once in my life make a good breakfast before I actually left the house. I knew if I did this I wouldn't beg Brady for lunch like I have last week. So yea I hope to be fine until I get home at 5 and can make a dinner at home.
Anyway so besides that, this weekend was alright, nothing like getting forced to family events that aren't even your family. Yea this year was supposed to be a family free event and again I was drug to something I didn't want to do. But in the end I guess it worked out, Eric and Christina's was a lot of fun after the torture of Aunt Dianna telling me how much I HAVE to go to the dinner at their house on Christmas, yea not going to happen. Got to see Lana and Eric and Karl which was cool. Him and I talked about skiing out west and it was a good time.
So anyway, Christmas was low key which is what I wanted it to be, I got home at like 1pm and himmed and howyed around until 5 or 6, well actually I got a lot done in that time period like shower, clean up the spare room, get the bed made, vacuumed, set up the living, finish laundry and dishes. Anyway Ben came over and we went to see a movie. It was nice.
So the news on Ben... despite what I told myself earlier in the month/ not to be repeated...
I am going to try things with Ben again and see where things go. I believe us NOT living together will make our relationship smoother and hopefully we can BOTH get back on our feet and where we belong without too much heartache. The only thing is, if the last 4 months taught us anything is that our relationship is really going to have to change, and also when it comes down to me moving away, he will have to make the ultimate decision to either come with me, or stay here. And then again we will be living together and who knows. I doubt it will work out considering it didn't this time. But not to dwell on things past, we are okay and can actually spend time together which is not forced upon us by sharing the same living quarters.
So Christmas wasn't a completely waste of time. Ben stayed the night, got up Monday and went to the mall and got some food :) and then I went to work, got home from work and went grocery shopping, Walmart twice, Meijer twice, don't ask me why.. lol
Tonight when I get home I'm going to make tacos because that is what the twice trips were about!! So I just have to put up with Brady's shit until 5pm and then I'm out of here for the day, who knows I might even leave a little early, say I have other shit to do or just go and don't say anything. Either way wish me luck and Merry belated Christmas and have a happy new year. :)
PS if you haven't heard me say it yet, I LOVE having my own apartment, everyone should try it !!! its amazing, but I'm also looking fora cool new roommate to share the bills. Much love, Tim
I'm sitting in the office at work, and Brady is here instead of Maggie. Big Mistake, I was 15 minutes late because stupid me wanted to try and EAT before coming into work, and actually iron my clothes so I looked nice, well I got here and the first thing out of Brady's mouth was, oh its 8:15 isn't it. 15 minutes... and then nothing. So I haven't spoken a word to him because even if I did try to explain it does no good. I am in a professional position as should be able to make it to work on time, whether there are circumstances out of my control or not.
But for you viewers at home I will explain myself. So one thing is I am quitting smoking, and not the usual haha I'm going to quit and then start back up in a few days thing, No I am actually trying to do it. I am going to have to refuse to buy any come Friday when I get money and that will be the real test, but I'm trying to quit all week so that decision on Friday is not so hard. Not only that like I said I wanted to look nice so I ironed my clothes, and finally for once in my life make a good breakfast before I actually left the house. I knew if I did this I wouldn't beg Brady for lunch like I have last week. So yea I hope to be fine until I get home at 5 and can make a dinner at home.
Anyway so besides that, this weekend was alright, nothing like getting forced to family events that aren't even your family. Yea this year was supposed to be a family free event and again I was drug to something I didn't want to do. But in the end I guess it worked out, Eric and Christina's was a lot of fun after the torture of Aunt Dianna telling me how much I HAVE to go to the dinner at their house on Christmas, yea not going to happen. Got to see Lana and Eric and Karl which was cool. Him and I talked about skiing out west and it was a good time.
So anyway, Christmas was low key which is what I wanted it to be, I got home at like 1pm and himmed and howyed around until 5 or 6, well actually I got a lot done in that time period like shower, clean up the spare room, get the bed made, vacuumed, set up the living, finish laundry and dishes. Anyway Ben came over and we went to see a movie. It was nice.
So the news on Ben... despite what I told myself earlier in the month/ not to be repeated...
I am going to try things with Ben again and see where things go. I believe us NOT living together will make our relationship smoother and hopefully we can BOTH get back on our feet and where we belong without too much heartache. The only thing is, if the last 4 months taught us anything is that our relationship is really going to have to change, and also when it comes down to me moving away, he will have to make the ultimate decision to either come with me, or stay here. And then again we will be living together and who knows. I doubt it will work out considering it didn't this time. But not to dwell on things past, we are okay and can actually spend time together which is not forced upon us by sharing the same living quarters.
So Christmas wasn't a completely waste of time. Ben stayed the night, got up Monday and went to the mall and got some food :) and then I went to work, got home from work and went grocery shopping, Walmart twice, Meijer twice, don't ask me why.. lol
Tonight when I get home I'm going to make tacos because that is what the twice trips were about!! So I just have to put up with Brady's shit until 5pm and then I'm out of here for the day, who knows I might even leave a little early, say I have other shit to do or just go and don't say anything. Either way wish me luck and Merry belated Christmas and have a happy new year. :)
PS if you haven't heard me say it yet, I LOVE having my own apartment, everyone should try it !!! its amazing, but I'm also looking fora cool new roommate to share the bills. Much love, Tim