(no subject)
I am a huge cum afficionado.
I love semen. I love the look of it, the smell of it, the taste of it, the feel of it. I love it wet. I love it hot or cold. I love the way it gushes, flows, sprays, spurts, streams, drips, dribbles.
I love everything there is about semen.
In my dreams, I wish I could be a bukakke video star. Taking 30, 40, 50 loads of semen onto my face, eyes, cheeks, mouth, throat, hair every day. Then drinking down a pint or more of it at the end, until my gut is full of cum.
When I was in junior high, my rotten self-esteem led me to make a foolish assumption. I assumed that guys who wanted to fuck me in the ass or put their penis in my mouth liked and accepted me. It was a very silly assumption to make. In fact, these straight boys (and almost all of them were heterosexual) did not see fucking my ass and mouth as something loving. They saw it as a way of "humiliating the faggot." Pumping their seed into my ass was degrading, they thought.
Even more humiliating, sick and degrading (they believed) was ejaculating on my face or (worse/better) into my mouth.
When I was in the eighth grade, I had sex with a large group of boys after football practice. I straddled a wooden bench and leaned forward. The boys took turns penetrating me anally and ejaculating inside my ass. While one boy fucked me up the ass, the other would gather around my face. I hungrily sucked as many cocks ass I could. The boys masturbated as they watched me "humiliate" myself. Many of them ejaculated into my hair or onto my face. They laughed when they did so. Since these were all guys in the seventh, eighth and ninth grades, they had a fairly insatiable sex drive. Penises stayed hard after ejaculation, and each boy had several ejaculations. Nearly all the boys ejaculated in my mouth twice, and some more than twice. I drank all that semen down.
Afterwards, of course, I was ostracized. It was not a loving and accepting -- or even fun -- thing that had happened, but (in their minds) a perverse and grotesque thing which horrified and sickened them.
I purposefully ignored how ostracized I was. My capacity for self-delusion was boundless, and I perceived what had happened as a good thing. I loved it. I loved drinking all that cum, loved having my ass soaking with their semen, and wished I could have gone home with cum dripping and oozing down my face (all while I wore a goofy, silly grin).
The truth is, I was pretty miserable while being gang-banged that afternoon. My self-delusion and refusal to be introspective about what happened caused me some major problems later on in life.
But ignorance is bliss. During those two hours, I was so very, very happy. While feeling the warm liquid course across my face, bloat my stomach, and grease my insides, I was incredibly, unalterably, unbelievably happy.
