Clancy. <3 or no?
Due to the clingy desperation that is my mother, I find I am less and less excited to visit Clancy/Helena. I can appreciate her longing for a better relationship with her daughter, I often wish we could be closer too. However, she makes me uncomfortable and distant when she tells me how much she needs my company. She is what I am afraid of ever becoming, and she is the reason I have been in therapy.
No one should be so helpless as she allows herself to be. I find that my resentment towards her grows whenever she hugs me, or pouts because I'm leaving her presence. All mother's would be wise to realize that it is not ok to force your child to do anything by pouting or guilt tripping. Or to rely on your adult child to be your source of excitement.
Also, omfg. There is something large and fuzzy on the wall above this computer. Wtf is that.
Anyhow, while I'm excited to see my Dad and my Grandma, I find that I prefer to just stick with Austin's family or our friends. This causes me a great deal of guilt (helped along with pleading phone calls from my mother), and eventually I just lay down in a dark room and stare in to oblivion.
In Bozeman, I am free of this guilt because I am 100 miles away. The phone calls persist though, until finally I am forced to return a call out of fear that something terrible has happened, and all she wants is to ask if I want a copy of a movie. When I do visit, NOTHING HAPPENS. We hug, then she basically forces me to sit on the couch and answer questions or watch those wretched TV shows they love so much where people wander around in dark buildings talking to ghosts and getting themselves freaked out.
There should be forced limitations on how much time someone spends watching TV, web surfing, and stalking.
I just wish I could see my Dad, without the burden of having to please my mother. He's so wonderful. No expectations, no neediness. He just smiles, hugs, and listens. I miss him so much sometimes, but I can't call him, because my mom would get upset that I wasn't calling to talk to her.
Resentment is my middle name.
No one should be so helpless as she allows herself to be. I find that my resentment towards her grows whenever she hugs me, or pouts because I'm leaving her presence. All mother's would be wise to realize that it is not ok to force your child to do anything by pouting or guilt tripping. Or to rely on your adult child to be your source of excitement.
Also, omfg. There is something large and fuzzy on the wall above this computer. Wtf is that.
Anyhow, while I'm excited to see my Dad and my Grandma, I find that I prefer to just stick with Austin's family or our friends. This causes me a great deal of guilt (helped along with pleading phone calls from my mother), and eventually I just lay down in a dark room and stare in to oblivion.
In Bozeman, I am free of this guilt because I am 100 miles away. The phone calls persist though, until finally I am forced to return a call out of fear that something terrible has happened, and all she wants is to ask if I want a copy of a movie. When I do visit, NOTHING HAPPENS. We hug, then she basically forces me to sit on the couch and answer questions or watch those wretched TV shows they love so much where people wander around in dark buildings talking to ghosts and getting themselves freaked out.
There should be forced limitations on how much time someone spends watching TV, web surfing, and stalking.
I just wish I could see my Dad, without the burden of having to please my mother. He's so wonderful. No expectations, no neediness. He just smiles, hugs, and listens. I miss him so much sometimes, but I can't call him, because my mom would get upset that I wasn't calling to talk to her.
Resentment is my middle name.