good riddance to 2013
I would like to say 2013 was a banner year. I would like to discuss all of the outstanding, fun things my family and I did this year. But I won't. I will say that 2013 was a very stressful year and I am certain 2014 is going to be a better year. 5 hospitalizations. Abdominal surgery. Brain surgery. Radiation treatment. Joint pain. I would love to talk about how I am all better now but I am still fighting, which is something.
What irritates me is the time lost with my kids. Time lost with my wife. Lying in bed while she does it all and watches me think about this. Go to work every day and wait for the call that the Air Force no longer needs my services and I get to file for disability.
I shouldn't be mad. I am thankful I am still here. But to have my family watch me go through this has to be tough. I wish they didn't have to. But maybe my retirement will allow me to spend more time with my family. Maybe the meds won't affect me as much this year. Maybe I won't need any new surgeries. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
I know I am strong. I know I will continue to fight this. But I wish I could shield tori and the girls more. That is my New Years resolution. To work harder, be there more, do more to be a participating member of the family instead of downing pills and sleeping. Not narcotics of course just anti nausea and ibuprofen mostly. But still.
What irritates me is the time lost with my kids. Time lost with my wife. Lying in bed while she does it all and watches me think about this. Go to work every day and wait for the call that the Air Force no longer needs my services and I get to file for disability.
I shouldn't be mad. I am thankful I am still here. But to have my family watch me go through this has to be tough. I wish they didn't have to. But maybe my retirement will allow me to spend more time with my family. Maybe the meds won't affect me as much this year. Maybe I won't need any new surgeries. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
I know I am strong. I know I will continue to fight this. But I wish I could shield tori and the girls more. That is my New Years resolution. To work harder, be there more, do more to be a participating member of the family instead of downing pills and sleeping. Not narcotics of course just anti nausea and ibuprofen mostly. But still.