i am the light fantastic
I'm back! The large Peruvian woman who was keeping me locked up in her basement slipped up yesterday and left a spoon behind after she had taken away my breakfast pudding. I used the spoon to dig a hole through her wall and am now a free man. I managed to make it home despite the lack of clothing and the large tattoo of a vagina that the cold hearted bitch tattooed on my chest. Before heading home I stopped in at my buddy mrgreer's house, crawled up the side of house and sang two songs to him through his window. I opened with Dolly Parton's "I will always love you" and then closed with a passionate version of Metallica's "Fade to black." I managed to run away before he woke up and confronted me (I find mrgreer to be very intimidating because of his incredible manliness) and he probably thought that it was all a pleasant dream. Anyways, I finally got home and my lovely lover made me promise I would stay away from south american women all together.