(no subject)
At three years old she stands on a rickety stool her grandfather made, talking to her daddy on the phone. She’s still at the age where she sees faces in the walls, and hears monsters outside. She's scared of the dark and clings to an adults hand when walking through the black abyss, even as her grandmother said for the umpteenth time "there's nothing in the dark, there isn't in the light, there's just more of it". Her grandmother sits in the room watching silently listening to half the conversation. The girl wobbles slightly regains her balance and smiles as her daddy says something that’s supposed to make her laugh. She wobble once more only this time the stool goes straight from under her and she falls, phone falling from her hand as she hits her head on the corner of the window sill. Her grandmother rushes over taking care not to hurt the girl as she moves her to sit upright, Phone lies forgotten on the floor as she moves to fetch towels. The small girls head is seeping blood from a wound at the back, a towels is pressed to it to stop the blood and suddenly the phone is remembered. Her father is informed of the incident and says he'll meet them at A&E, the girl, tears now steadily flowing down her cheeks, is buckled into her car seat, the front door locked and on her way. Her head was fine, nothing a few stitches couldn't fix.
She's 4 now and she's sitting on the step sat school crying, she's been told her granddad’s dead, gone to heaven up there. Mrs Daws stands on the playground looking round, making sure no one gets hurt. She sees the young girl and sits beside her.
"What’s wrong, honey?” The tears continue to flow and she stops staring at her shoe instead looking into the kind ladies eyes and sniffing once. It's odd these ladies eyes are so calming. Her grandsons in the same year as her, he's weird, he gets angry too quickly and she doesn't like it, her best friend is here too. She’s known him since she was really little and she has to tie his shoes for him. He's trying to teach her how to ride a bike but she's too scared of falling off. His little sister isn't very fun though she sits there and makes noises. Where’s the fun in that, why doesn't she run around? She's always round his house playing with action men and teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures. Because they’re action figures not dolls, dolls are stupid and girly, that's what her big brother says.
Her brother's 9, he's taller than she is and wears funny glasses. He gives her piggy back rides and plays with her when her daddy’s tired and watches the Boys programs with her. He’s awesome. Although she doesn't have a mother. She doesn’t like his mother she’s mean, and she’s married to this man, he strikes her as odd. And he has a dog! Called Sam and it’s a terrier and it can fetch.
She’s Five, lying in a hospital bed, it feels huge and she’s scared. The doctor been round and put a cannula in her hand, incase they need to take blood, and so they can put the anaesthetic in without using another needle. The doctor comes round again smiling and holding a clipboard. They’re taking her down to theatre and her parents follow the bed as she’s manoeuvred around the hospital. She gets into the anaesthesia room before theatre and begins to cry, she doesn’t want to have this done anymore, and she wants to go home. A syringe is inserted into the cannula and she whimpers, she can feel the needle move under her skin. Her dad whispers to her telling her everything will be fine her father movers her hair out of her eyes and smiles.
She’s 10 years old. It’s her birthday and her family is round her house. Her father begins to walk towards her carving fork in hand. She back up, away from him, ends up tripping over the edging of the pond and falling backwards into it. Laughter fills the garden as her eyes fill with tears. She’s grazed her knee and her shoulder hurts. Her Dad lifts her out of the water and ushers her inside. She changes quickly drying her eyes and steps outside.
She leans down to pick up the glass of lemonade she’d left, to get the hot dog rolls for the barbeque, the drink burns her throat and she coughs hard.
“Silly girl” her father says, “ first you soak the buns and now you’re drinking my vodka!” and although it’s said with a smile, it still hurts. This is supposed to be her day. She’s turning double digits and instead everyone’s making fun of her. She smiles along with everyone else, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
Her dad pulls her aside and gives her a worried look.
“Bunny? What’s wrong? You don’t seem to be having fun.”
But, because she hates worrying her parents or her family, she assures him everything’s fine and decides to grin and bare it. She’s wearing her orange summer dress, she’s surrounded by her family and she’s finally 10 what more could she want? (Except for that really cool bike she saw the other day.)
It’s a few months on, and the middle of the summer holidays, yesterday she went into the city with her friends Jenny and Alice to see the Cat in the Hat. Today she's tidying her room smiling and singing. She’d inherited her Father’s Voice, and her Dads calm nature, sure she had two dad’s but she doesn’t care, her philosophy is “take me as I am”. And as she’s putting her books onto the shelf she begins to sing an old song. One her parents sing to her every so often.
“Hey moon please forget to fall down
Hey moon don’t you go down
Sugarcane In the easy morning
Weathervanes my one and lonely”
She turned to pick up another pile of books but stops as a heavy object hits her back.
The bookcase had fallen and pinned her underneath she screamed and cried for what to her felt like hour but was only 10 minutes. Her Parents and their visiting friend came into her room to see what was wrong and helped to pull the shelf off the crying girl. Her father wrapped her up in his arms and smiled rocking her back and forth until her dad came back with a towel to press to the back of her head. There’s blood on the edges of the shelves, her uncle Ryan’s gotten quite pale in the face and she’s worried he’ll faint. They drive up to A&E her parents making a fuss while making sure Ryan’s okay too. She feels fine, her head hurts but she’s fine.
She’s 13 it’s her first proper gig and she’s excited. She’s going with two of her best friends. And her parents trust them in the venue on their own. It was okay for her first time she supposes. But there wasn’t much of an atmosphere, and although she loves live music the band weren’t very good, the lead singer most likely stoned or drunk, perhaps both. She goes home feeling vaguely disappointed but settles and decides she doesn’t care she has plenty of time to go to concerts and gigs.
She’s 14, She just received an A* in an exam and her parents take her out to lunch to celebrate. She’s happy and smiling and she goes to a gig at a different venue this time, smaller but way more fun. She gets home and has three friends stay over. It’s a game of evil truth or dare and someone she thought was her best friend tells her she doesn’t try hard enough. She clams up, doesn’t play anymore and texts a friend, she’s feeling lonely, although she has friends in the room.
She’s 15, she’s having trouble keeping any food down, and her “friends” keep saying it’s bulimia, that she’s doing it for attention. At home she’s in tears about it, her father books a doctors appointment. They refer her to the hospital and she tells her friends to make sure they aren’t worried and they seem to care but there’s one who just shrugs and says okay.
The hospital tell her she has an inflamed stomach lining and that’s probably why she can’t hold anything down, they hand her some tablets and send her home.
Skip a few years. She’s twenty-five, standing at the front of the church with her parents about to get married to her childhood friend. A boy she’s known since she was only a few weeks old. The Wedding March begins to play and her parents walk her down the aisle.
Brendon and Jon sit in the front row, watching their daughter marry the one she loves, they share smiles with each other and their friends. To them it seems like yesterday that She was born, tiny, premature and jaundiced, and now she’s grown into a beautiful young lady, all smiles and wholehearted laughter. There had been many bumps along the way but they had raised this girl from a tiny baby to where she is now, they were proud. They were happy.
And so was She.