Self Mutilation
Something I read on my friends page got me to thinking about this topic.... Self Mutilation.... to some it's decorating your skin with this nice warm red stuff that your skin seems to float on... it's so pretty.... umm anyway... for some it's starving yourself, and others even consider tattoo's a form of self mutilation.... should I cut my hair I'd be accused of self mutilation... course the only times I've ever cut it well.... my eventual death wasn't long after. But that's another story nobody's interested in reading.
So is self mutilation only physical? I guess in my life I've run the gauntlet... I've for weeks on end while I was younger, simply desided I wasn't hungry, until I had to be force fed or put on an IV. bastards those things hurt.
I've done the cutting, I've even taken it so far as to take sections of skin off and try to make pretty designs while doing so.
I've done the burning with a lighter, and with chemicals. nice scars from that one.
I chopped off my hair out of rage, or was it despair... still can't tell... could have been alot of other things too... still wasn't a good emotion either way.
I've punched walls until my hands looked like I'd put them in a grinder.
well I'll stop the list there....
I wonder.... does Self mutilation have to be physical damage?
I seem to delight in causing myself mental anguish as of late.... putting myself into situations I disdain for no reason. Craving the things I hate, why... it's not that my feelings towards these have changed... and they aren't physically harmful or damaging....
I guess when physical pain no longer has the same effect, one must invariably find another means of self torment.... funny how masochistic this makes me sound.... oddly sadistic is more often used to describe me.
In a way I guess I'm similar to the Vong in the Star Wars series... I seem to crave pain, and use it... feed on it... the pain of others is as useful as my own. but I wonder what I'm really using it for...
Well This has been another rambling incoherent, utterly pointless, and completely devoid of any intellectual merit post from.....
I guess one of those guys that lives in my head and tells me to build things, break things, and kill people.
So is self mutilation only physical? I guess in my life I've run the gauntlet... I've for weeks on end while I was younger, simply desided I wasn't hungry, until I had to be force fed or put on an IV. bastards those things hurt.
I've done the cutting, I've even taken it so far as to take sections of skin off and try to make pretty designs while doing so.
I've done the burning with a lighter, and with chemicals. nice scars from that one.
I chopped off my hair out of rage, or was it despair... still can't tell... could have been alot of other things too... still wasn't a good emotion either way.
I've punched walls until my hands looked like I'd put them in a grinder.
well I'll stop the list there....
I wonder.... does Self mutilation have to be physical damage?
I seem to delight in causing myself mental anguish as of late.... putting myself into situations I disdain for no reason. Craving the things I hate, why... it's not that my feelings towards these have changed... and they aren't physically harmful or damaging....
I guess when physical pain no longer has the same effect, one must invariably find another means of self torment.... funny how masochistic this makes me sound.... oddly sadistic is more often used to describe me.
In a way I guess I'm similar to the Vong in the Star Wars series... I seem to crave pain, and use it... feed on it... the pain of others is as useful as my own. but I wonder what I'm really using it for...
Well This has been another rambling incoherent, utterly pointless, and completely devoid of any intellectual merit post from.....
I guess one of those guys that lives in my head and tells me to build things, break things, and kill people.