here in the IT suit wiv Nicci my bezy mate
Yesturday at the end of college I kissed Ana (a bloke-lol).. hes too shy for me to tell if he actually likes me or not.. which isnt very reassuring. It was just the one kiss n then there was a quick (little too quick) goodbye, mayb it was cos he was shy.. im not exactly sure! Hes a good kisser.. if not a little nervous :$.
Tom's still bein great wiv me.. its not the most helpful thing when im desperately tryin to get over him! I see him wiv his ex.. all the time! n it still hurts. Whilst i was goin out wiv him there was always rumours of him being wiv her when he wasnt wiv me, and i cud never trust him. They were'nt just nasty people spreadin lies.. these were coming from my closest mates.. wot they witnessed. I was rarely happy when i was with him. But i prefered it to being alone i guess.. insecurity or something. But we've all been there! .. Im still there :(. Even after kissing Ana i go back to Tom. Guess im weak or something. Rachy called me a slut after i was seen kissing Tom in the park last week, it wasnt just a jokingly said 'slut' it was with feelin n i cud have broken down n cried. Rachys lonely. i flirt wiv these guys i only see as mates, and then they end up liking me as more than that. I guess it must hurt her.. im strugglin to get over someone & they're doin cartwheels to get my attention. I sound really big headed n arrogant but theres no way else to explain it. Nicci agrees, but she luvs me anyway!!!!!!!.. i do sound bigheaded. :) but meh. The way i see it is that i do get attention from guys (used to b extremely rare!)but it wont b the guys i am really liking, they dont even see me!
Nicci has fallen for an old mate of mine... lots of history there but its cool.. hes a great guy n probs the only one id trust to treat nicci right! Umm.. he has a few issues .. such as i deep loathing of most girls.. & paranoir.. & a tendency to think of any girl who wears excessive makeup or short skirts.. or even a t-shirt wiv the 'horney devil' on it.. basically he classes them all as sluts. I have been freqently called a slut by him in the past when i especially annoy him, but im over that, keepin in mind that i'd kill him if he were to ever say that to Nicci. It is infact a rare day that i will willingly go out in public wiv a short skirt or showy top.. well i wear perty tops much more than the short skirts. Last friday however was a huge acception! My birthday party.. i wore a black rara skirt wiv a red gorgeous top with floaty sleeves .. hehe it was cool! The top didnt reveal much but did attract attention.. i mean it was red! Nicci borrowed my pink equally short rara skirt that ive probers worn 8 times since iv had it.. last summer sometime. She looked amazn! When i had to go n meet Edd it dawned on me wot i was wearin & i was tempted to a: leave him outside somewhere or b: run inside n change into my jeans. Wiv the help of a few drinks tho i strutted my stuff out there n draggged him in doors! hehe i remember watchin Nicci flirtin like crazy wiv him.. hehehe it was a bonny sight.. especially when she rested her legs on him!! :D! He looked really quite uncomfortable. A word to describe Edd.. frigid. to quote Nicci just now "it doesnt matter if hes frigid or not.. its adorable" hehehe.. & now "i hate u officially" .. think i shud stop quotin her! lol.
Vell.. Edd n Nicci were taken wiv each other.. i was and am extremely pleased bout it.. and also a little suprised that Edd didnt run n hide from the short skirt!! :D . But Nicci is so gorgeous i guess the attraction overcame his fear! Nic is threatenin to tell Edd this address to my journal.. ya think shes annoyed im writin bout her n Edd!? Lol.
Anyway.. this friday is gonna b cool cos its their first date! *cough* unofficial mates hanging out .. DATE. Itll also b cool cos if all goes well itll b the first time in ages iv got to hang out wiv Holz! *Nicci givin me evils*. As Nicci is my BEZZY mate now n i may not have mentioned this but she is totally amzin.. hehe n has a soft spot for me!! :D! Im worried she'll feel neglected or mayb a tad jealous if Holly n i start doin the manic gigglin we always used to.. but im sure if she thinks about it.. she'll realise its only scary! Holz rang me last night n i nearly died of shock when i recognised her voice on the fone!not that she has a horrid voice its just.. well i thought she hated me! Oh yeah i ran into her mum in town earlier too.. that was also a huge shock.. cos if i thought Holly hated me.. well that was nothin compared to her mum! But she was really nice to me said i was lookin well n stuff actually had a cool chat. its all cool till u remember that this was the person that in my eyes killed mine n Hollys friendship. Iv got to stop talkin about all this cos wots the point in diggin up the past?! especially when it seems to hav finally settelled n i hav a cool new best mate! :) dont know wot id do wiv out nic.. mayb spend a little less time on the computors ;). but still .. shes just .. wow. :)
Later x x x x x
Tom's still bein great wiv me.. its not the most helpful thing when im desperately tryin to get over him! I see him wiv his ex.. all the time! n it still hurts. Whilst i was goin out wiv him there was always rumours of him being wiv her when he wasnt wiv me, and i cud never trust him. They were'nt just nasty people spreadin lies.. these were coming from my closest mates.. wot they witnessed. I was rarely happy when i was with him. But i prefered it to being alone i guess.. insecurity or something. But we've all been there! .. Im still there :(. Even after kissing Ana i go back to Tom. Guess im weak or something. Rachy called me a slut after i was seen kissing Tom in the park last week, it wasnt just a jokingly said 'slut' it was with feelin n i cud have broken down n cried. Rachys lonely. i flirt wiv these guys i only see as mates, and then they end up liking me as more than that. I guess it must hurt her.. im strugglin to get over someone & they're doin cartwheels to get my attention. I sound really big headed n arrogant but theres no way else to explain it. Nicci agrees, but she luvs me anyway!!!!!!!.. i do sound bigheaded. :) but meh. The way i see it is that i do get attention from guys (used to b extremely rare!)but it wont b the guys i am really liking, they dont even see me!
Nicci has fallen for an old mate of mine... lots of history there but its cool.. hes a great guy n probs the only one id trust to treat nicci right! Umm.. he has a few issues .. such as i deep loathing of most girls.. & paranoir.. & a tendency to think of any girl who wears excessive makeup or short skirts.. or even a t-shirt wiv the 'horney devil' on it.. basically he classes them all as sluts. I have been freqently called a slut by him in the past when i especially annoy him, but im over that, keepin in mind that i'd kill him if he were to ever say that to Nicci. It is infact a rare day that i will willingly go out in public wiv a short skirt or showy top.. well i wear perty tops much more than the short skirts. Last friday however was a huge acception! My birthday party.. i wore a black rara skirt wiv a red gorgeous top with floaty sleeves .. hehe it was cool! The top didnt reveal much but did attract attention.. i mean it was red! Nicci borrowed my pink equally short rara skirt that ive probers worn 8 times since iv had it.. last summer sometime. She looked amazn! When i had to go n meet Edd it dawned on me wot i was wearin & i was tempted to a: leave him outside somewhere or b: run inside n change into my jeans. Wiv the help of a few drinks tho i strutted my stuff out there n draggged him in doors! hehe i remember watchin Nicci flirtin like crazy wiv him.. hehehe it was a bonny sight.. especially when she rested her legs on him!! :D! He looked really quite uncomfortable. A word to describe Edd.. frigid. to quote Nicci just now "it doesnt matter if hes frigid or not.. its adorable" hehehe.. & now "i hate u officially" .. think i shud stop quotin her! lol.
Vell.. Edd n Nicci were taken wiv each other.. i was and am extremely pleased bout it.. and also a little suprised that Edd didnt run n hide from the short skirt!! :D . But Nicci is so gorgeous i guess the attraction overcame his fear! Nic is threatenin to tell Edd this address to my journal.. ya think shes annoyed im writin bout her n Edd!? Lol.
Anyway.. this friday is gonna b cool cos its their first date! *cough* unofficial mates hanging out .. DATE. Itll also b cool cos if all goes well itll b the first time in ages iv got to hang out wiv Holz! *Nicci givin me evils*. As Nicci is my BEZZY mate now n i may not have mentioned this but she is totally amzin.. hehe n has a soft spot for me!! :D! Im worried she'll feel neglected or mayb a tad jealous if Holly n i start doin the manic gigglin we always used to.. but im sure if she thinks about it.. she'll realise its only scary! Holz rang me last night n i nearly died of shock when i recognised her voice on the fone!not that she has a horrid voice its just.. well i thought she hated me! Oh yeah i ran into her mum in town earlier too.. that was also a huge shock.. cos if i thought Holly hated me.. well that was nothin compared to her mum! But she was really nice to me said i was lookin well n stuff actually had a cool chat. its all cool till u remember that this was the person that in my eyes killed mine n Hollys friendship. Iv got to stop talkin about all this cos wots the point in diggin up the past?! especially when it seems to hav finally settelled n i hav a cool new best mate! :) dont know wot id do wiv out nic.. mayb spend a little less time on the computors ;). but still .. shes just .. wow. :)
Later x x x x x