rejection
I just got rejected from a popular lj. Does it hurt? yes. Am I angry? yes. but i'm going to reserve that anger. I know it goes against what i wrote earlier, but this is the best way to express my feelings. Nothing gets accomplished when one is angry.
On the important terms of agreement (when you click on info, its there), my rejection could have been one of two things: that they didn't trust me or that i was new to livejournal. granted, i haven't used this service (journal entries and other services) because i didn't feel the need to. who would read it? i often go into communities and write my comments there. i feel welcome with other people who share the same interests as me. perhaps that was the reason i was "declined" (that's their term), and perhaps i was too new into the game that they (mods) suspected me and thought I was a "troll". I'm not a troll, first of all, never has and never will. but i understand why they have to question. Hey, wouldn't you find it suspicious that some person with a weird name would press on the join button and ask to join at an irregular time with little to no history?
Another thing, and this is where it gets suspicious for me, this lj is popular so i can't help but compare this lj to the popular clique in school. when i was in school, those people made fun of me. this makes me feel insuperior to others. its a sad commentary when one only judges on the outside (ie my status at livejournal) rather than who i am. i can be smart, funny, sardonic and maybe a little mean. i remember having the door closed in my face many times when i was younger, so this is one of those times.
I want people to at least give me a chance, that's all.
So what am i going to do about it? i won't go on that lj anymore. i know it sounds stupid, i know its not honorable, and i know it won't make a difference but i'm doing out of my own health. instead of wining about (i did wine here), i just will not care. maybe i'm not witty enough to earn a membership to that lj, but its their loss. they missed out on a great commentator and a great person.
And that's what hurts the most.
On the important terms of agreement (when you click on info, its there), my rejection could have been one of two things: that they didn't trust me or that i was new to livejournal. granted, i haven't used this service (journal entries and other services) because i didn't feel the need to. who would read it? i often go into communities and write my comments there. i feel welcome with other people who share the same interests as me. perhaps that was the reason i was "declined" (that's their term), and perhaps i was too new into the game that they (mods) suspected me and thought I was a "troll". I'm not a troll, first of all, never has and never will. but i understand why they have to question. Hey, wouldn't you find it suspicious that some person with a weird name would press on the join button and ask to join at an irregular time with little to no history?
Another thing, and this is where it gets suspicious for me, this lj is popular so i can't help but compare this lj to the popular clique in school. when i was in school, those people made fun of me. this makes me feel insuperior to others. its a sad commentary when one only judges on the outside (ie my status at livejournal) rather than who i am. i can be smart, funny, sardonic and maybe a little mean. i remember having the door closed in my face many times when i was younger, so this is one of those times.
I want people to at least give me a chance, that's all.
So what am i going to do about it? i won't go on that lj anymore. i know it sounds stupid, i know its not honorable, and i know it won't make a difference but i'm doing out of my own health. instead of wining about (i did wine here), i just will not care. maybe i'm not witty enough to earn a membership to that lj, but its their loss. they missed out on a great commentator and a great person.
And that's what hurts the most.