Knock you down
So it is that time again! It is the day before my first final. Actually, it is technically the morning of my first 2 finals, in almost 12 hours! But when having to study for finals, I spend a lot of time, just me and my books, which allows for me to get sidetracked easily/think.
So lately I have been still having family issues. I am glad my brother and I have gotten a lot closer over the past two years now but there is a wall when it comes to my mom. I have been praying to have a softer heart so I can just forgive and forget, but I can't and I don't understand why. I just feel like every time I try, something else bothers me and causes my heart to harden again. It doesn't help that Austin and my mom are having problems back at home either; he is starting a rebellion against Tracy and mom. I can see where he is coming from, but I did tell him it was kind of dumb and immature but ultimately it is his decision.
So something else that has been on my mind, a couple weeks ago, something awesome started happening! I met a boy. I know! After all my posts about stupid love and having no time. But it is so weird, this boy drives me crazy and I don't know what it is! I am just kind of head over heels for him and I have never felt like this before. BUT it has caused problems because all I want to do is spend more time with him and get to know him but it is finals time! So because we must study, we don't get to hang out as often, so instead, being the stupid girl that I am, I just dream about hanging out with him, aka: NOT studying! This is why I said no to boys but I think just because it is so new and exciting, I can't help it. So one time while in the car, on our way to church, Keri Hilson's song, Knock you down came on. Ever since, I can't get the song out of my head and it just constantly reminds me of him! There are different interpretations of the song, but how I feel it is, is this boy seriously came out of nowhere and is now disrupting my life (but in a good way). :P "I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did..." that is for sure. Of course I still wonder how is this all going to work out with summer coming up and all but only time can tell.
-_- Ok, enough gushing! Back to studying!!!!
So lately I have been still having family issues. I am glad my brother and I have gotten a lot closer over the past two years now but there is a wall when it comes to my mom. I have been praying to have a softer heart so I can just forgive and forget, but I can't and I don't understand why. I just feel like every time I try, something else bothers me and causes my heart to harden again. It doesn't help that Austin and my mom are having problems back at home either; he is starting a rebellion against Tracy and mom. I can see where he is coming from, but I did tell him it was kind of dumb and immature but ultimately it is his decision.
So something else that has been on my mind, a couple weeks ago, something awesome started happening! I met a boy. I know! After all my posts about stupid love and having no time. But it is so weird, this boy drives me crazy and I don't know what it is! I am just kind of head over heels for him and I have never felt like this before. BUT it has caused problems because all I want to do is spend more time with him and get to know him but it is finals time! So because we must study, we don't get to hang out as often, so instead, being the stupid girl that I am, I just dream about hanging out with him, aka: NOT studying! This is why I said no to boys but I think just because it is so new and exciting, I can't help it. So one time while in the car, on our way to church, Keri Hilson's song, Knock you down came on. Ever since, I can't get the song out of my head and it just constantly reminds me of him! There are different interpretations of the song, but how I feel it is, is this boy seriously came out of nowhere and is now disrupting my life (but in a good way). :P "I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did..." that is for sure. Of course I still wonder how is this all going to work out with summer coming up and all but only time can tell.
-_- Ok, enough gushing! Back to studying!!!!