Fucked UP
I can't count on absolutely anyone for fucking anything. Not one person in this whole godamn worldddddd.
Even people who I have been friends with for a while, people I have been there for, and cared about, in the end do not value my friendship or me as a person at all. There are people in my life I have become close with that I could never picture giving up on or hurting; people that I would take a bullet for. Yet those same people a year from now won't even remember my fucking name. It's not even an exaggeration, it's been proven to me again and again that one wrong move I make will result in even my best friend abandoning me. And don't preach to me about how it happens to everyone, because that may be fine and dandy if it happens to you, but it doesn't justify shit. People are fucked up. I know that I personally don't do that to ANYONE.
I just don't understand. Like I can't comprehend how after a year of friendship, it all goes to shit for one stupid reason. Someone who tells you they care about you, someone who you comfort and talk to and someone you value so much, just forgets about you and drops you as if it was nothing. It's completely obvious when someone does this, no matter how much they tell you you're overreacting. No matter how hard they try to justify that you've just grown distant and to get over it, it hurts just as much as if they punched you in the stomach.
Don't call me a fucking pussy, I'm not sitting here crying about it. Don't call me a heartless bitch either- although it makes me mad I actually care about the people who get hurt and left behind. Stuff like that fucks with your head and stays with you for a long time. Unlike the majority of the people I know, I was actually born with a heart and a conscience. I could never turn away from someone and never look back; it doesn't make me weak or sensitive, it makes me a real person. I'm not saying I'm better than anyone; I have my own problems and my own flaws, I just respect and appreciate every single person I allow into my life and I wish other people would do the same.
People will come and go in and out of your life all the time, I know this already, I just can't seem to grasp the concept of how some people can disappear without even a goodbye or an apology. How people just vanish forever and all you're left with is the memory of how they actually USED to care. It's fucked up. I don't think I could ever begin to describe how fucked up that is. I HATE people who do this, I despise it more than anythinggg. I know in five years from now the people who once referred to me as their 'best friend' will have moved on, found someone new to share memories with. Someone different, someone better. Someone they can call their own for a short period of time before they, too, become another girl they used to know.
