(no subject)
i finally had my appointment with a psychiatrist on monday. i've been waiting over a month for this appointment! willy went with me, at his insistence, because he says i tend to leave things out. ;) there's a change--willy remind *me* of stuff instead of vice versa. haha.
anyway, after conversation, explanation, etc, her opinion is that i have atypical bipolar ii disorder. this means that instead of what you would think of when you hear the word "mania", i have "hypomania", which is why i get those extreme irritable moods. i almost cried when i heard her say that, not because i was upset, but because THANK GOD there is a reason for my mood swings, and i'm not just a mean bitch.
a lot of people haven't seen me in one of my really agitated, irritated states, because for some reason i have an easier time controlling it around people outside of my immediate family.
so the treatment: she put me on a mood stabilizer, which i have to be very careful about, because if you don't take it EXACTLY as prescribed, you break out into a huge, very serious, weird rash. ewwwww, right? i'm on 25 mg right now, which i take at bedtime for 14 days. then i take 50mg at bedtime for 14 days. then i go up to 100 mg, and that is the dosage we're aiming for. if i feel like i have a problem with feeling down or depressed, then i'll go back on the wellbutrin as well, but i'm off of that for now (i have been for the past few weeks).
so the good news is that lots of really famous and successful artists were crazy too! LOL!! seriously, a lot of the most well-known artists had bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, ADD, despression and anxiety, OCD, etc etc. my drawing instructor talked at length about this on our first day of class. i thought, "well, then, this IS the right major for me, b/c i'm crazy as a loon!" just kidding. i know i'm not crazy as a loon. ;)
sorry it's been a long time since i've blogged. willy and i have both been really busy with school and stuff. i spent a very long time last sunday working on art history homework, only to find out that i did way more than i was supposed to. ha! chapter 17 was supposed to be split between two weeks. at least that means i get a little rest from the reading this week. chapter 17 was about baroque art, of which i'm not really a fan. some of it is nice, but a lot of it is too dark for me, literally. there's a lot of playing with mystical light, because religious mysticism was a part of the counter-reformation during the baroque era, which means a lot of artists used "mystical light" in their paintings. i'm someone who thrives on bright color.
because of doing all that extra art history work, i didn't get enough time to study properly for my astronomy test, which was supposed to be this past monday. thanks to ash & willy's persuasion, i decided to play hooky and make up the test next week so i could have extra study time. i'm really glad my astronomy prof is so cool about stuff like that.
speaking of grades and stuff, i finally got back some exercises/projects in my drawing class last week. the grades ranged from an 84 (a B) on a composition of blind contour faces, to a 98 on my graphite and charcoal gradations. he said to expect around a C on our first projects, so i suppose i can live with those grades, but this semester is proving to be harder than the past ones. i had all A's last spring and summer. this semester, i've got probably a B in drawing so far, a C in western civ (i got a 78 on my first test, but i will be much more prepared for the next one now that i know what she expects!), and no grade in astronomy! i do have an A in art history, with a 96 on my first exam. so that's good. ;)
besides school, i've been a writing MACHINE lately! i can only hope that it stays this way long enough for NaNoWriMo (national novel writing month) in november. this is a program in which writers commit to write every day in order to finish a novel in one month. it's really awesome. they use the reverse philosophy "quantity vs. quality" in this program. the point is to churn out words (a novel is around 50,000), and go back to it afterward (during december, or at the beginning of the new year after the holiday rush) for editing and rewrites, etc. i'm so, so, SO excited! i didn't find out about nanowrimo til the end of november last year, so i was too late to participate, and i've had to wait almost a whole year for it to come again! so i'm most definitely ready for it. i've got a few ideas written down. ooh, maybe i'll make you guys vote on which one i should use! the thing is, i'm not allowed to do *any* writing before november 1st. i can do research and other preparations, but NO WRITING yet.
ooh, now i'm really excited--putting my fate into YOUR hands by letting you choose what i write about. :)
*tiff, goddess extraordinaire*
anyway, after conversation, explanation, etc, her opinion is that i have atypical bipolar ii disorder. this means that instead of what you would think of when you hear the word "mania", i have "hypomania", which is why i get those extreme irritable moods. i almost cried when i heard her say that, not because i was upset, but because THANK GOD there is a reason for my mood swings, and i'm not just a mean bitch.
a lot of people haven't seen me in one of my really agitated, irritated states, because for some reason i have an easier time controlling it around people outside of my immediate family.
so the treatment: she put me on a mood stabilizer, which i have to be very careful about, because if you don't take it EXACTLY as prescribed, you break out into a huge, very serious, weird rash. ewwwww, right? i'm on 25 mg right now, which i take at bedtime for 14 days. then i take 50mg at bedtime for 14 days. then i go up to 100 mg, and that is the dosage we're aiming for. if i feel like i have a problem with feeling down or depressed, then i'll go back on the wellbutrin as well, but i'm off of that for now (i have been for the past few weeks).
so the good news is that lots of really famous and successful artists were crazy too! LOL!! seriously, a lot of the most well-known artists had bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, ADD, despression and anxiety, OCD, etc etc. my drawing instructor talked at length about this on our first day of class. i thought, "well, then, this IS the right major for me, b/c i'm crazy as a loon!" just kidding. i know i'm not crazy as a loon. ;)
sorry it's been a long time since i've blogged. willy and i have both been really busy with school and stuff. i spent a very long time last sunday working on art history homework, only to find out that i did way more than i was supposed to. ha! chapter 17 was supposed to be split between two weeks. at least that means i get a little rest from the reading this week. chapter 17 was about baroque art, of which i'm not really a fan. some of it is nice, but a lot of it is too dark for me, literally. there's a lot of playing with mystical light, because religious mysticism was a part of the counter-reformation during the baroque era, which means a lot of artists used "mystical light" in their paintings. i'm someone who thrives on bright color.
because of doing all that extra art history work, i didn't get enough time to study properly for my astronomy test, which was supposed to be this past monday. thanks to ash & willy's persuasion, i decided to play hooky and make up the test next week so i could have extra study time. i'm really glad my astronomy prof is so cool about stuff like that.
speaking of grades and stuff, i finally got back some exercises/projects in my drawing class last week. the grades ranged from an 84 (a B) on a composition of blind contour faces, to a 98 on my graphite and charcoal gradations. he said to expect around a C on our first projects, so i suppose i can live with those grades, but this semester is proving to be harder than the past ones. i had all A's last spring and summer. this semester, i've got probably a B in drawing so far, a C in western civ (i got a 78 on my first test, but i will be much more prepared for the next one now that i know what she expects!), and no grade in astronomy! i do have an A in art history, with a 96 on my first exam. so that's good. ;)
besides school, i've been a writing MACHINE lately! i can only hope that it stays this way long enough for NaNoWriMo (national novel writing month) in november. this is a program in which writers commit to write every day in order to finish a novel in one month. it's really awesome. they use the reverse philosophy "quantity vs. quality" in this program. the point is to churn out words (a novel is around 50,000), and go back to it afterward (during december, or at the beginning of the new year after the holiday rush) for editing and rewrites, etc. i'm so, so, SO excited! i didn't find out about nanowrimo til the end of november last year, so i was too late to participate, and i've had to wait almost a whole year for it to come again! so i'm most definitely ready for it. i've got a few ideas written down. ooh, maybe i'll make you guys vote on which one i should use! the thing is, i'm not allowed to do *any* writing before november 1st. i can do research and other preparations, but NO WRITING yet.
ooh, now i'm really excited--putting my fate into YOUR hands by letting you choose what i write about. :)
*tiff, goddess extraordinaire*