Original -- The Burning Ones

[tierfal]

Title: The Burning Ones
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,819
Warnings: language, relatively mild violence with flaming swords
Prompt: The Pretender at pulped_fictions
Summary: The Archangel Michael catches up.
Author's Note: Since finishing FMA, every time I sit down to write, it's like, "This needs more swords! And more guns! And more magic!", which is sabotaging

Comments

[tierfal]

I AM WRITING AS… okay, not quite as fast as I can, because FMA fic nibbles at my brain more than it should be allowed to do, but progress is being made, I promise. XD''

Thank youuuuuuuu, by the way - for reading in the first place, for taking the time to leave such detailed commentary, and for having such nice things to say to me, omg. c: ♥;

Good call on that one… blech, it's kind of hard, haha. XD I'll see if I can think of a way to use one of those alternatives that feels right there. ^^

You are the absolute best, bb. ♥

[tierfal]

ajfkdlsjfklds ♥;;;

[1_rhiannon_1]

The Archangel Michael scares me to bits. He's terrifying! I was so afraid that this would be the end of darling Maion and I was going to just sob! I kinda want to give Belial a big kiss for banishing Michael. *big sigh of relief*

I honestly didn't pay a lot of attention to the technical side that you asked for feedback on - I was too busy having an emotional shit fit over Maion. But nothing jumped out at me and made me make this face: O_o

[tierfal]

Endless, endless ♥s for you and this comment - I can't tell you how happy it makes me that people have come to care about my bizarre little brainchildren this much. c:

Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to give me feedback! :D

[1_rhiannon_1]

I really do care about your little brainchildren! They make me laugh & smile & want to cry sometimes. You have a truly awesome set of characters there, doll! ♥ They've endeared themselves to me :D

[tierfal]

ajfdklsjfkldasaaa ♥;;;; :3

[tierfal]

I'm delighted to hear that! ♥; There were definitely a lots of bits and pieces of novel context seeded into this, I'm afraid; I'm also very relieved that those were intriguing rather than frustrating or distracting.

Thank you so much for reading! :3 ♥

[eltea]

THIS WAS REALLY, REALLY AWESOME. :D I can do a more detailed beta on it when it's part of the novel, but for now, all I really caught was a "catching the banister o keep from falling", and I basically spent the rest of the time enjoying it. :D I love the descriptions of the four of them running - every one felt really right and poetic to me. I also love that you give multiple interpretations of the word Michael says before you translate it as "Fallen". And I think my absolute favorite part of this might be Belial - both the epic way he intercedes (the description of him as "a man-shaped slice of oblivion" was amazing, and I love that he's revealed himself the way the angels do, and that I hadn't even thought to expect that), and the way he goes straight back to casual nonchalance and calling Maion sweetheart. I also love that Vincent and Edward are so helpless here, and that you know there's no way they can help at all. The whole thing was just fantastic, and the end is perfect. ♥

[tierfal]

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Belial's sexual favors line was, uh, one of the first things I came up with. :P I secretly kind of love the idea that Vincent, for all of his very deep-running cynicism, has no idea how far in over his head he actually is. o______o

ty ty ty ty~~~

[allthosewitches]

Oh this was AMAZING! I love that you've sort of reminded us that this 'verse isn't just crack and one liners - this was really powerful and heart wrenching. Plus I got really angry at one point 'cause I thought you were about to kill Maion :L Another idea I really liked was that Vince was essentially powerless and had no real idea of what was going on, and how it was Belial in the end that had to save him.

Also, you got me to read an action sequence! From start to finish! *hands over prize*
I mean, usually I just sort of skim through the ones in books til I get to all the Feelings. My God, I am such a woman. But seriously, it was gripping and emotional at the same time, which is quite hard to pull off.

Basically, I still borderline worship you and your writing, and am waiting eagerly for this novel that is ALMOST READY, YUS? *best puppy-eyes-and-chocolate-bribes combo*

[tierfal]

Every now and then I have to throw in a, "Wait, this is sometimes-srs bizness! Look, flaming swords, celestial-being powers, Bad Stuff, etc.!" scene - caught red-handed, lol! XD No, I'm delighted that it came off well! ^____