all is fail
I'm back on the project of doom for another 10 days over the next 3 weeks.
I'm just so tired of dealing with this client whose people are never certain of what they want, who thinks that they shouldn't have to make concrete any kind of specification - that a spec is the minimum that someone should be doing and that modifications thereafter are necessary. Who's crabby and spineless and pretty much just marking time.
When I came back, I wanted to leave this client with the sense that I'd done something.
Now, I just want to get out.
--
I've written only 16K to a practical acquaintance with bees and 8K of that has been scrapped. I feel like I have no time or energy or concentration to do this. Also, the story plods. I know where it has to go, but to get there I feel like I'm taking shortcuts. How much shortcut is acceptable in the name of plot? In the name of character development? In the name of relationship development?
Everything else has faded into the background; I'm stuck on so many things, I don't have the brainpower to write, and I feel like I don't have the words.
--
My body feels like it's failing. I know, compared to the chronic illnesses/aches/conditions of so many people I know from fandom and even in RL, it's nothing - they'd swap bodies in a microsecond. But after years of being perfectly healthy, I feel like I'm running down and I don't like it at all.
Is this what growing old feels like? Or is it something more?
That's what I'm struggling with, and it's making me nervous.
I'm just so tired of dealing with this client whose people are never certain of what they want, who thinks that they shouldn't have to make concrete any kind of specification - that a spec is the minimum that someone should be doing and that modifications thereafter are necessary. Who's crabby and spineless and pretty much just marking time.
When I came back, I wanted to leave this client with the sense that I'd done something.
Now, I just want to get out.
--
I've written only 16K to a practical acquaintance with bees and 8K of that has been scrapped. I feel like I have no time or energy or concentration to do this. Also, the story plods. I know where it has to go, but to get there I feel like I'm taking shortcuts. How much shortcut is acceptable in the name of plot? In the name of character development? In the name of relationship development?
Everything else has faded into the background; I'm stuck on so many things, I don't have the brainpower to write, and I feel like I don't have the words.
--
My body feels like it's failing. I know, compared to the chronic illnesses/aches/conditions of so many people I know from fandom and even in RL, it's nothing - they'd swap bodies in a microsecond. But after years of being perfectly healthy, I feel like I'm running down and I don't like it at all.
Is this what growing old feels like? Or is it something more?
That's what I'm struggling with, and it's making me nervous.