today, at the end of our time...
I got through to the midafternoon and then...it kind of all drained out of me. Mostly exhaustion, but also the cold (I hate the cold and our house has no insulation), not much food that I want to eat (I was spoiled eating out while I was away), and fretting about the world, my garden, and the cough (which has finally progressed to thin phlegm stage)...
Then I'm feeling like I can't write (again). Or maybe I just can't write my own stuff. Ideas, yes, but actual full manuscripts? No.
Lately, I feel like I can't write anything, actually. Certainly not concisely. I get bogged down in interactions or descriptions. Details that aren't needed and which blow out my word count. And then the story isn't cohesive and the characters aren't compelling and
Team 1 didn't ask me to play for the grand finals, or be included on the grand final list, although I played more than half their games. That's stinging quite a lot.
Anyway, my regular team is playing at midday tomorrow, with a BBQ to follow at one of the players just down the road.
So I didn't mind playing goalie, this year, but I did like playing on the field. I'm just quietly terrified that next year if I ask to play on the field...they'll bump me down to Team 3 again. I'm just not the player that people (or maybe coaches) want on their team. And the Team 1 coach is nice enough, but I feel like she thinks I'm a bit stupid.
Anyway, enough of the negative, on to the positive. In point form:
Then I'm feeling like I can't write (again). Or maybe I just can't write my own stuff. Ideas, yes, but actual full manuscripts? No.
Lately, I feel like I can't write anything, actually. Certainly not concisely. I get bogged down in interactions or descriptions. Details that aren't needed and which blow out my word count. And then the story isn't cohesive and the characters aren't compelling and
Team 1 didn't ask me to play for the grand finals, or be included on the grand final list, although I played more than half their games. That's stinging quite a lot.
Anyway, my regular team is playing at midday tomorrow, with a BBQ to follow at one of the players just down the road.
So I didn't mind playing goalie, this year, but I did like playing on the field. I'm just quietly terrified that next year if I ask to play on the field...they'll bump me down to Team 3 again. I'm just not the player that people (or maybe coaches) want on their team. And the Team 1 coach is nice enough, but I feel like she thinks I'm a bit stupid.
Anyway, enough of the negative, on to the positive. In point form:
- Last night I caught up with a cousin and her fam while picking up a new chicken coop in her area, and we had dinner. S admires me a lot and, I think, wants me to be a role model for her kids. It was good to catch up; I haven't seen her since her sister, "cousin T" died about 5 years ago, although we're in contact through FB.
- I had two people come around to help me with adding to the chicken yard. Setting a new post, putting up a new gate, and then attaching the chain link fence all around it. It took an hour (or two) longer than I thought it would, but one of them was very new and it was great to meet her. She admired my garden a lot. (People do.)
- ...I don't have anything other than those.