Emotions
Sometimes, there are just things that words cannot express. Think of the most beautiful thing you have ever seen, and then try to describe it with adjectives.
Sometimes, I am full of so much disappointment, and cannot even begin to find words to describe it. You know, things can be so fun until you step back and look at life, and see how much of it is being thrown away into nothingness.
Sometimes, I find myself at a place where I feel like I am unable to say anything, or relate to anything.
Today is one of those days. My entire being is crying out, searching for a way to express how I feel deep down inside. And all I can do is groan. All I can do is formulate the most primitive of sounds. This must be how a baby feels.... I have so much inside of me, and no way at all to convey any of these things. It's almost as though my mind cannot even wrap itself around what I feel--but that doesn't even make sense. Can I think something outside of language? Can I feel something without thinking it? And yet, it is so real!
It's a wall in my face. I stare into it, and shout for a length, only to find the wall has no response. It is a sea, in which I am only a drop swimming against the current, only to find that my struggle is lost in the great depths of what surrounds me.
Silence seems like the best response--but then I want to scream as loud as I can--and then I want to run in circles--but then I want to just lie on the ground, and cover myself in a million sheets--but then I want to rip everything off myself. It is the greatest longing I have ever felt.
It is like eating, but never being full. It is drinking to capacity, and still being thirsty.
It is the soul's paradox. This is my journey. May one day I find solace in knowing I looked, and may I never become complacent, and may I never become a jaded soul. I hope that I will never find words--because when I find words, I think that is when I have forgotten what it feels like.
Sometimes, I am full of so much disappointment, and cannot even begin to find words to describe it. You know, things can be so fun until you step back and look at life, and see how much of it is being thrown away into nothingness.
Sometimes, I find myself at a place where I feel like I am unable to say anything, or relate to anything.
Today is one of those days. My entire being is crying out, searching for a way to express how I feel deep down inside. And all I can do is groan. All I can do is formulate the most primitive of sounds. This must be how a baby feels.... I have so much inside of me, and no way at all to convey any of these things. It's almost as though my mind cannot even wrap itself around what I feel--but that doesn't even make sense. Can I think something outside of language? Can I feel something without thinking it? And yet, it is so real!
It's a wall in my face. I stare into it, and shout for a length, only to find the wall has no response. It is a sea, in which I am only a drop swimming against the current, only to find that my struggle is lost in the great depths of what surrounds me.
Silence seems like the best response--but then I want to scream as loud as I can--and then I want to run in circles--but then I want to just lie on the ground, and cover myself in a million sheets--but then I want to rip everything off myself. It is the greatest longing I have ever felt.
It is like eating, but never being full. It is drinking to capacity, and still being thirsty.
It is the soul's paradox. This is my journey. May one day I find solace in knowing I looked, and may I never become complacent, and may I never become a jaded soul. I hope that I will never find words--because when I find words, I think that is when I have forgotten what it feels like.