Adulthood angst & slushy sentimentality
I'm finally back in Toronto after six weeks at university. My room seems enormous. My parents seem distant, or at least less hovering. My friends can drive me places. I think I'm passing through all these milestones of adulthood - it was my high school graduation today, and before that, Tei and I voted - but really, I still scream during violent movies and can't sleep as well without Effie, the bolster my mother sewed for me when I was six months old. I like university, I really do, but I don't know... it seems an awful lot like Growing Up, which seems an awful lot like Frightening.
My parents seem to have adjusted to the childless life fairly rapidly. On my first night back, Mater was paying the bills and Pater was reading the paper, and they mentioned that they aren't eating regularly scheduled meals now that they don't have a Precious, Precocious Progeny to Protect. So I had pepper and apple slices for dinner. They went out tonight as well, which is fine, seeing as I spent it with Classics & Co., who I really missed, but the fact that they had planned a dinner party (well, planned to meet with friends) on my first night back home... It was a little bracing. Perhaps the fact that I have no sibbies plays a role. My friend with two younger sisters still at home mentioned that her mother cooked her favourite foods whenever she returned home, and they made a really big deal out of every visit. I'm not sure that I like that... It's not necessarily bad, but I don't know... It's different. Only Child Syndrome - and I think I have a mild to moderate case - has made me accustomed to having attention heaped on, at least at home, and it's... different.
Hmm... Oh yes. Voting. Tei and I voted. It was odd. Everything was electronic and maybe I should have voted more strategically - Rob Ford cannot become our mayor - but that's okay. I kept thinking of that George Bernard Shaw quotation... "If at twenty, a man is not a communist, he has no heart. If at thirty, he is not a capitalist, he has no brains." Maybe that wasn't Shaw. But for now at least, I'm going to vote idealistically.
And Commencement! I can't believe I'm officially done with high school, loaded up on plaques I don't really deserve and a cheque I ought to write a thank-you card for... I don't know. It's weird. It seemed almost normal to loiter in the Latin room and bombard old teachers with babbles and meander through the familiar halls, but when I think of last week's classes - lectures and tutorials and rehearsals and sleep in on Tuesdays because class starts at 2.30 - high school's almost alien. Confusion.
I've actually just come back from seeing all the Toronto biffles. Don't get me wrong, I love McGill and I've met a lot of great people and I really like tea parties and Latin study seshes and running up the Mountain and watching illegally downloaded TV shows, but there's something to be said for familiarity. I miss the comfortable dynamic from Latin room lunches, and how my social group was pretty much even in the guy-to-girl ratio - I have no straight guy friends at university... I mean, I love the girls and the gay guys who are like the girls, but I miss the nerdy bros (yo) so much - and the mathematically inclined monologues and grammar jokes... Agh. And we were talking about how Classics & Co. is pretty much like an "auxiliary social group" now and that makes me kind of sad. I've met and I'm sure I'll continue to meet some amazing people in university, but I am (...don't make me say was) friends with some amazing people in high school and I don't want them all pushed to the periphery.
Well. It's late, and I have five university projects due in the next two weeks that I should get started on that tomorrow, so I best be off.
Goodnight, Internet, and those who may never read this.
Hugs from Toronto!
TVG xxx
My parents seem to have adjusted to the childless life fairly rapidly. On my first night back, Mater was paying the bills and Pater was reading the paper, and they mentioned that they aren't eating regularly scheduled meals now that they don't have a Precious, Precocious Progeny to Protect. So I had pepper and apple slices for dinner. They went out tonight as well, which is fine, seeing as I spent it with Classics & Co., who I really missed, but the fact that they had planned a dinner party (well, planned to meet with friends) on my first night back home... It was a little bracing. Perhaps the fact that I have no sibbies plays a role. My friend with two younger sisters still at home mentioned that her mother cooked her favourite foods whenever she returned home, and they made a really big deal out of every visit. I'm not sure that I like that... It's not necessarily bad, but I don't know... It's different. Only Child Syndrome - and I think I have a mild to moderate case - has made me accustomed to having attention heaped on, at least at home, and it's... different.
Hmm... Oh yes. Voting. Tei and I voted. It was odd. Everything was electronic and maybe I should have voted more strategically - Rob Ford cannot become our mayor - but that's okay. I kept thinking of that George Bernard Shaw quotation... "If at twenty, a man is not a communist, he has no heart. If at thirty, he is not a capitalist, he has no brains." Maybe that wasn't Shaw. But for now at least, I'm going to vote idealistically.
And Commencement! I can't believe I'm officially done with high school, loaded up on plaques I don't really deserve and a cheque I ought to write a thank-you card for... I don't know. It's weird. It seemed almost normal to loiter in the Latin room and bombard old teachers with babbles and meander through the familiar halls, but when I think of last week's classes - lectures and tutorials and rehearsals and sleep in on Tuesdays because class starts at 2.30 - high school's almost alien. Confusion.
I've actually just come back from seeing all the Toronto biffles. Don't get me wrong, I love McGill and I've met a lot of great people and I really like tea parties and Latin study seshes and running up the Mountain and watching illegally downloaded TV shows, but there's something to be said for familiarity. I miss the comfortable dynamic from Latin room lunches, and how my social group was pretty much even in the guy-to-girl ratio - I have no straight guy friends at university... I mean, I love the girls and the gay guys who are like the girls, but I miss the nerdy bros (yo) so much - and the mathematically inclined monologues and grammar jokes... Agh. And we were talking about how Classics & Co. is pretty much like an "auxiliary social group" now and that makes me kind of sad. I've met and I'm sure I'll continue to meet some amazing people in university, but I am (...don't make me say was) friends with some amazing people in high school and I don't want them all pushed to the periphery.
Well. It's late, and I have five university projects due in the next two weeks that I should get started on that tomorrow, so I best be off.
Goodnight, Internet, and those who may never read this.
Hugs from Toronto!
TVG xxx