Fic: In the End (Mal/Simon/Zoe)
Written for wildannuette's Threesome Fic Exchange. For...vibishan. Who wanted Mal/Simon/Zoe, moving on from Wash and no pre-anything. Erm... R rating and I hope it's good. Oh, and post-Serenity. And angst.
Thanks to woodsong_1978 for the quick beta. *hugs*
In the End
***
1.
Wash dies and her world keeps turning. She doesn't flinch, there's no thoughts where she wishes it would stop. Because there's people counting on her and Wash's memory is counting on her.
For a month. She keeps flying for a month. Wash's memory ain't watching her. Wash ain't watching her. Seems no one is when, time was, Mal would have noticed something...off. That Zoe is off, not right anymore. Something vital is missing.
She slips up on the latest job and that has to be Mal now, knocking at her door. Her heart jumps, she hopes it's him. Even if all he's done is come to lecture her to pay more attention. She wants to talk, there's got to be a way to let it all out, but it's something she can't start on her own.
She yells out “Come in”, though, and it's Simon that heads down the hatch.
2.
Simon's been standing in the shadows and waiting for the inevitable breakdowns. He's seen it before, in the hospital, unable to save someone. Informing the family and seeing them take it stoically. Only to have one of them come back weeks later, angry or crying. He's been waiting for Zoe to do that.
He expects Mal will go to her then.
He reevaluates that when Mal doesn't even seem to notice. When even Simon can notice, as he bandages her arm. Just a graze but one that shouldn't have happened and he doesn't want it to be the first of many. They can't risk losing any more crew.
Zoe lets him in and it doesn't surprise him. He starts the conversation and she just keeps going. She asks him to come back. He does, every night for a month.
3.
Simon's back makes a satisfying crash as it hits the crates. Jars Mal's arms something fierce, too, when Simon pushes back. It feels good. It gets his blood rushing. He needs that rush. That rush lets him cope, the moment when he can't think of anything but the way the blood feels through his veins.
Alive.
Simon's punched him first this time. Mal doesn't need to know why, he just needs to be able to react.
“Shi er bu jian hundan,” Simon spits out at him and Mal stills. Not just because Simon doesn't cuss.
Mal lowers his half raised fist. “Huh? There a reason you're attackin' me, then?”
“Because that seems to be the only way to get your attention.”
Mal looks doubtful. “You wantin' my attention?”
“No. But I know someone who is.”
4.
Mal isn't going to come to her. Simon tells her what he did but Mal still doesn't come. There's something broken between them. Somewhere along the line, he's stopped being her confidante. He stopped being there for her. Nothing but a captain. Nothing but 'sir'.
Simon gives her the courage. He's helped her pull herself together, still fragmented but there. Enough that she can reach out to someone else.
She pulls Mal into a hug, buries her fingers into his hair. He freezes but she whispers his name and it breaks him. His arms are around her, he's crying. Whispering it out again and again.
“I'm sorry, Zoe, I'm sorry.”
“Weren't your fault, Mal,” she reassures and realizes how long he must have been waiting to hear that.
5.
It takes a while but Simon never expected it anyway. Mal walks up, with a smile, and claps him over the shoulder.
“I oughta thank you, doc, looks like you do more fixin' than just patchin' up gunshots.”
“You don't need to thank me,” is Simon's automatic response. But it feels good. He feels ridiculously like he might be glowing with the praise. “I...was just going to get a drink.” He hesitates on actually inviting Mal along.
A month ago Zoe stopped needing him. Five months ago River did the same.
Mal's arm slips around his shoulders and guides him to the galley. “Might fancy a drink myself.”
Simon can't quite stop smiling.
6.
Doc must be lonely or he wouldn't be pressing so hard against Mal, rutting even harder against the hand Mal's got shoved down the front of his slacks. Mal can't think of any other reason Simon would be wanting him to do this. Not want or lust or any of that.
Mal might be lonely, too. He's been spending every night with Zoe, though, holding her close, keeping her sane. Keeping him sane. Way they used to.
But he's still here, middle of the gorramn night while Zoe waits, and he's fisting the doctor's cock in the middle of the galley. And when Simon's finished, instead of pulling away, he's pulling Mal along with him back to his bunk. Mal doesn't - can't - resist.
He needs this. This feeling alive and connected in ways he can't with Zoe. And he'll keep needing it as long as Simon does.
7.
Things drift apart again. Like pieces falling off the ship. Instead they fall off her. She doesn't know when she stopped being able to sleep alone.
She doesn't fault them. Doesn't think she does. They deserve some happiness even if she can't share in that.
But they laugh. They rub it in. She slams her glass down at dinner and that stops it all, makes everyone look to her. She grits her teeth, she can't say anything, just gets to her feet and walks out, leaving silence in her wake.
She doesn't know how to be alone anymore.
8.
He manages to corner her in her bunk. It's late or he wouldn't have been able to do that. He's not surprised to go down and find her still awake.
Mal is sleeping peacefully, down in the crew bunk they share now. It seems if two of them are happy the other can't be. Simon's got himself tangled in a way he never meant to. He doesn't want to turn away, not from either of them. He doesn't want to go back to being alone either. It's another thing he doesn't want for any of them.
“Did you want something, Simon?”
“I have a proposition for you. But I'd rather Mal heard as well and I think you should come with me.” Come to Mal's bunk where Wash isn't. It's been eight months, it's past time to leave him behind.
“You can tell me here.”
9.
Mal knows that Simon is planning something. There's some sort of gleam in his eyes, a tension through his shoulders, worry in the set of his lips. Mal was prepared for something.
Nothing prepares him to find Zoe standing in their bunk though, Simon standing between them, waiting for a reaction. Mal waits but Zoe just stares back at him. Simon already has a reaction off her and since she's standing down there, looking defiant but hopeful, Mal can guess what it was.
“You serious? But she...she's Zoe.”
“You got a problem with me, sir?”
“No! That ain't...” He runs his hand up through his hair. “'S just weird. You two've been plotting behind my back.”
Simon sighs. He runs his hand over Mal's chest to calm him down. “We haven't been plotting. But this isn't going to work another way. I know you've seen that.” He smiles and Mal sees that gleam again. “Besides, I'll be in the middle. Until it's less weird.”
Mal doesn't really give in until he watches Simon kiss Zoe.
10.
Simon really is top three percent, Zoe has to give him that. Turns out that he's got more courage than her or Mal as well. He saw what was needed and did something about it.
Her bunk is transformed. Her old life is boxed up and stored in Mal's old bunk. It feels and smells and looks entirely different now. Like Mal and Simon.
They tell her they love her but she can't say it back. She's not ready. But she is ready for something else.
She draws Mal down on top of her, kisses him like she's done a hundred times now. Simon doesn't try to join them. This is for them, dropping down the final walls, building up the last of their new lives.
When Mal slides into her, though, she realizes that there is no new life without all of them and her hand beckons Simon onto the bed with them.
For the first time in nearly a year, she feels complete again.
Thanks to woodsong_1978 for the quick beta. *hugs*
In the End
***
1.
Wash dies and her world keeps turning. She doesn't flinch, there's no thoughts where she wishes it would stop. Because there's people counting on her and Wash's memory is counting on her.
For a month. She keeps flying for a month. Wash's memory ain't watching her. Wash ain't watching her. Seems no one is when, time was, Mal would have noticed something...off. That Zoe is off, not right anymore. Something vital is missing.
She slips up on the latest job and that has to be Mal now, knocking at her door. Her heart jumps, she hopes it's him. Even if all he's done is come to lecture her to pay more attention. She wants to talk, there's got to be a way to let it all out, but it's something she can't start on her own.
She yells out “Come in”, though, and it's Simon that heads down the hatch.
2.
Simon's been standing in the shadows and waiting for the inevitable breakdowns. He's seen it before, in the hospital, unable to save someone. Informing the family and seeing them take it stoically. Only to have one of them come back weeks later, angry or crying. He's been waiting for Zoe to do that.
He expects Mal will go to her then.
He reevaluates that when Mal doesn't even seem to notice. When even Simon can notice, as he bandages her arm. Just a graze but one that shouldn't have happened and he doesn't want it to be the first of many. They can't risk losing any more crew.
Zoe lets him in and it doesn't surprise him. He starts the conversation and she just keeps going. She asks him to come back. He does, every night for a month.
3.
Simon's back makes a satisfying crash as it hits the crates. Jars Mal's arms something fierce, too, when Simon pushes back. It feels good. It gets his blood rushing. He needs that rush. That rush lets him cope, the moment when he can't think of anything but the way the blood feels through his veins.
Alive.
Simon's punched him first this time. Mal doesn't need to know why, he just needs to be able to react.
“Shi er bu jian hundan,” Simon spits out at him and Mal stills. Not just because Simon doesn't cuss.
Mal lowers his half raised fist. “Huh? There a reason you're attackin' me, then?”
“Because that seems to be the only way to get your attention.”
Mal looks doubtful. “You wantin' my attention?”
“No. But I know someone who is.”
4.
Mal isn't going to come to her. Simon tells her what he did but Mal still doesn't come. There's something broken between them. Somewhere along the line, he's stopped being her confidante. He stopped being there for her. Nothing but a captain. Nothing but 'sir'.
Simon gives her the courage. He's helped her pull herself together, still fragmented but there. Enough that she can reach out to someone else.
She pulls Mal into a hug, buries her fingers into his hair. He freezes but she whispers his name and it breaks him. His arms are around her, he's crying. Whispering it out again and again.
“I'm sorry, Zoe, I'm sorry.”
“Weren't your fault, Mal,” she reassures and realizes how long he must have been waiting to hear that.
5.
It takes a while but Simon never expected it anyway. Mal walks up, with a smile, and claps him over the shoulder.
“I oughta thank you, doc, looks like you do more fixin' than just patchin' up gunshots.”
“You don't need to thank me,” is Simon's automatic response. But it feels good. He feels ridiculously like he might be glowing with the praise. “I...was just going to get a drink.” He hesitates on actually inviting Mal along.
A month ago Zoe stopped needing him. Five months ago River did the same.
Mal's arm slips around his shoulders and guides him to the galley. “Might fancy a drink myself.”
Simon can't quite stop smiling.
6.
Doc must be lonely or he wouldn't be pressing so hard against Mal, rutting even harder against the hand Mal's got shoved down the front of his slacks. Mal can't think of any other reason Simon would be wanting him to do this. Not want or lust or any of that.
Mal might be lonely, too. He's been spending every night with Zoe, though, holding her close, keeping her sane. Keeping him sane. Way they used to.
But he's still here, middle of the gorramn night while Zoe waits, and he's fisting the doctor's cock in the middle of the galley. And when Simon's finished, instead of pulling away, he's pulling Mal along with him back to his bunk. Mal doesn't - can't - resist.
He needs this. This feeling alive and connected in ways he can't with Zoe. And he'll keep needing it as long as Simon does.
7.
Things drift apart again. Like pieces falling off the ship. Instead they fall off her. She doesn't know when she stopped being able to sleep alone.
She doesn't fault them. Doesn't think she does. They deserve some happiness even if she can't share in that.
But they laugh. They rub it in. She slams her glass down at dinner and that stops it all, makes everyone look to her. She grits her teeth, she can't say anything, just gets to her feet and walks out, leaving silence in her wake.
She doesn't know how to be alone anymore.
8.
He manages to corner her in her bunk. It's late or he wouldn't have been able to do that. He's not surprised to go down and find her still awake.
Mal is sleeping peacefully, down in the crew bunk they share now. It seems if two of them are happy the other can't be. Simon's got himself tangled in a way he never meant to. He doesn't want to turn away, not from either of them. He doesn't want to go back to being alone either. It's another thing he doesn't want for any of them.
“Did you want something, Simon?”
“I have a proposition for you. But I'd rather Mal heard as well and I think you should come with me.” Come to Mal's bunk where Wash isn't. It's been eight months, it's past time to leave him behind.
“You can tell me here.”
9.
Mal knows that Simon is planning something. There's some sort of gleam in his eyes, a tension through his shoulders, worry in the set of his lips. Mal was prepared for something.
Nothing prepares him to find Zoe standing in their bunk though, Simon standing between them, waiting for a reaction. Mal waits but Zoe just stares back at him. Simon already has a reaction off her and since she's standing down there, looking defiant but hopeful, Mal can guess what it was.
“You serious? But she...she's Zoe.”
“You got a problem with me, sir?”
“No! That ain't...” He runs his hand up through his hair. “'S just weird. You two've been plotting behind my back.”
Simon sighs. He runs his hand over Mal's chest to calm him down. “We haven't been plotting. But this isn't going to work another way. I know you've seen that.” He smiles and Mal sees that gleam again. “Besides, I'll be in the middle. Until it's less weird.”
Mal doesn't really give in until he watches Simon kiss Zoe.
10.
Simon really is top three percent, Zoe has to give him that. Turns out that he's got more courage than her or Mal as well. He saw what was needed and did something about it.
Her bunk is transformed. Her old life is boxed up and stored in Mal's old bunk. It feels and smells and looks entirely different now. Like Mal and Simon.
They tell her they love her but she can't say it back. She's not ready. But she is ready for something else.
She draws Mal down on top of her, kisses him like she's done a hundred times now. Simon doesn't try to join them. This is for them, dropping down the final walls, building up the last of their new lives.
When Mal slides into her, though, she realizes that there is no new life without all of them and her hand beckons Simon onto the bed with them.
For the first time in nearly a year, she feels complete again.