When is love worth fighting for?

[thspace_between]

I sit here and ask myself this question, which in a way is painful for me simply because I need to ask. I used to know. I used to have an immediate answer at the ready but now… now I sit here and second-guess and doubt and wonder

Comments

[kimrae1977]

Sorry for your friend...if she doesn't try as much as he does, or at all, there's not much he can do. You can't make someone want to be with you.

One of my favorite saying is "love is a verb", because real love isn't a feeling, it's an action. It's a decision to do something in spite of yourself, at times. I can choose to act in a loving way, even when I'm not feeling it, because the relationship is still important...because they matter. A lot of people don't get that. The chemical "lovey feeling" fades after 1.5 - 2 years, and then they're left wondering why they're still there....well, if you're also friends, then there's your answer!

If I have the chance to marry some day, it's going to be for life, so obviously, I need to choose wisely, LOL. I think, for the most part, that divorce is the chicken's way out....which is why all engaged couples should go to a few sessions of counseling to make sure they have the issues on the table and the proper expectations. Can't go into a commitment like that with blinders on.

Man, one of the hardest things I've ever done was let my ex-fiance go, because no one else has known me like that, and it really was a comfort zone even though the relationship had stagnated. Still miss that connection of someone being able to anticipate me, and know what I'm thinking most of the time. It was the right thing to do, but it's never felt *easy*, especially with the following relationship paling in comparison (and boy, is that another lonnnnng story).

[thspace_between]

Oh hun! I feel you! My last relationship, we broke up (his doing) but for months and months afterwards, the love was still very much prevalent. It was never about losing the love or the love fading because it was the love that took the longest to let go, even 6 months after we were already broken up.

At least on his part.

For me, its still an ongoing thing and though its easier today than it was even 3 months ago, I still miss him like mad and some days it hurts enough to cry, though I don't let myself. Its been 9 months...and I feel every single one of those days but I go on and when someone mentions him and his new girlfriend, I try to smile and I try to think good thoughts because in the end, I just want him happy.

[kimrae1977]

8 years for me, so there isn't anything personal anymore...just the missing of that *kind* of thing. And I get jealous sometimes that he has a better life than I do, LOL. Really had to end it when I was starting to feel more like his mom than his fiancee, though! He was just too young.

But, silly me rebounded into a relationship I'm still in. Wonder some days if I'd still be here under different circumstances in life...He's a mess, but there's tons of history by now, so what can you do? ;)

Moral of my life is not to date guys younger than you..at least not in your 20s.

[thspace_between]

Mine will be 24 in April.

[kimrae1977]

Ah. Ex-fiance is 10 months younger. Current is 2.5 years younger.