(no subject)
MAN! today was a horrile day, everybody was pissing me off, alot!
i know they were just trying to be nice but saying stuff and asking is not going to make me feel any better. i felt like a bitch tho, but what can i do i dont feel like being touched or hugged or pitied.
fuck them all.
i think part of me just wants to be held or something but another part the stronger just wants to be alone or smoke.
there are alot of things i am not able to say about this and i fear i will never be able to, but at least i know i have dealt with it the best i can, i know there are so many injustices in the world and that's not what makes me mad its the thought that i hadn't talked to her for a long time that repulses me, because now i regret it but before i blamed it on her, if you can believe it, i blamed her for not talking to me, but now i have realized it was me, because thats what i do when i get scared of being a part of someones life of being someone who she loved, so i distanced myself and i blamed it on her.
i guess thats why i am unhappy where ever i go, because theres always someone there who will want to be loved and i am so certain i could never be that person.
why babble any longer when instead i can cry.
i know they were just trying to be nice but saying stuff and asking is not going to make me feel any better. i felt like a bitch tho, but what can i do i dont feel like being touched or hugged or pitied.
fuck them all.
i think part of me just wants to be held or something but another part the stronger just wants to be alone or smoke.
there are alot of things i am not able to say about this and i fear i will never be able to, but at least i know i have dealt with it the best i can, i know there are so many injustices in the world and that's not what makes me mad its the thought that i hadn't talked to her for a long time that repulses me, because now i regret it but before i blamed it on her, if you can believe it, i blamed her for not talking to me, but now i have realized it was me, because thats what i do when i get scared of being a part of someones life of being someone who she loved, so i distanced myself and i blamed it on her.
i guess thats why i am unhappy where ever i go, because theres always someone there who will want to be loved and i am so certain i could never be that person.
why babble any longer when instead i can cry.